writing...

 My grandmother is 86, 

Her aunt lives closed by almost 100.

Her cousins are close age and they are pushing for more.

In their mind, all life,  they know what's wrong and what's right.

They all used to be communist and you have to do good things to people. 

We had huge book about it, all highlighted.

So they did, mixed with everything else, 

Mentioning life... young... 

Now my great grand aunt says to her grand great kids, to us,

My grandmother the same,  my mother,  my aunt:

We have done so much good things that 

You can do now whatever h... you want:)

Take everything easy..

 

I think,

We have to love life.

This is the most important love,

Love for life.

For the sun, trees, the sky and for all what's around.

Then you love yourself, 

You are very very important, you are number one.

Then you love your children and special one...

 

 

My grandmother’s story

 

Two against ten.
Destroyed burning building, what's left.

Can we make it?

The woman asked. 

If I was with someone else,  I don't know,

When I am with you,

I know I can and so do you...
Young officer smiled.
Don't go close to the window. Why are you here?
War is not for women.
Men...
Just one?
No, men...
You went under bullets and fire because of men?
I told I am going for my country,
That's not first thing I was thinking; but I knew I will help.
You have a medal.
I am brave.
Men must like you.
They do...
What are you going to do after the war? Will be a doctor?
Why?! No, a teacher. It's good too, to teach children?! Right?
Right. How old are you?
Nineteen.
Have mother waiting at home?
Yes and sisters. What about you?
No, I don't have home.
I am from old village, we have beautiful places, river and forest. I have my own tree, birds made nest on it. My aunt said it's for good luck. See this cross, my grandmother took it from her neck and placed on mine. When we will get out, please visit us.
You have to get out alone?
Why?
They will not let you go with me, I am an officer and you are just a girl. Both we won't get out...Take off your clothes, you will need white cloth.
What are you going to do??
I am a soldier.
Well, I am not leaving you....
They got married after the war.

 

 

One time we went to this house with a lot of trees.

The house was hiding in the middle of white flowers and green leaves. 

Owner, a woman, was very beautiful. 

It wasn't just ordinary beauty, it was beauty above. 

She was kind of big, curvy,  long hair, blue eyes, blushing cheeks, smile, cross on her neck.

I had never seen a woman like this.

An ancient Slavic queen. 

At list, she looked to me.

We had tea and jam.

All from my garden,

She said.

Laughing non stop, talking.
I have nothing to worry.
She said.
On way home I asked my grandma,
Who was this woman.
My friend's daughter.
The mother found a baby in a cabbage,  right at her garden, adopted.
We always were joking, that every tree or flower the little girl touched turns green, even dry trees.
May be she was born in the cabbage?
No! Some one left a baby, run away. Still it's strange, such connection with the nature...

 

I have seen not a lot of things, just a lot of people.
And all have been some kind of friends.
From my great grandparents to now.
Is it strange to know people who were born in 19th century?
They were very old, but could talk.
Liked us, little kids, a lot.
You are guys the reason, we are living!
And were giving me candy.
How many candies I had...

 

 

It's a tradition:
The first wish is for bright blue sky.
The sky is above all of us, any season, any weather it can be bright.
Another for good health, long years.
And the third wish is for happiness for you and everyone you love and like.

 

 

My grandmother found high school diploma, 

She still remember all of her friends. 

I have seen many: very good women, a few men.

They used to live across the school and at summer didn't wear shoes, hair tighten at the back, dressed like little women in simple colour dresses.

She used to cut root beet and rub in to cheeks to look pretty, strawberry on the lips, washed face in the ice water, hair in the rain.

Girls were helping mothers on the farm from five years old.

At six my grandmother knew how to milk a cow, cook and clean the house. 

Old grandma lived with them and all the kids grew on listening her stories. 

Grandma herself spent most of the young years living on the forest.

The old grandma used to say:
Be friend with the nature,
It's our best friend!
Before no one took many pictures,
or any picture.
People used to walk and see the nature,
Pick flowers, leaves, smile to the sky, the sun,
Hug a tree and ask something, her grandma was teaching how to be friend with the nature.

Old grandma, her mother, grandmother,
In young years
Used to live in the forest before arranged marriage.
They had an old wooden house near a tiny river:
Green at summer and white at winter.
All day were picking leaves and little flowers, mushrooms,
Running on the green lands free, and knew the forest the best in the world.
My grandmother heard stories about the sky, nature, trees...

 

Those old women and a man, grandma's good friend,
I have known in "old times".
They could do anything,  related to health, give it back.
Didn't teach anyone, couldn't, were saying that's all from God.
Still I did see, was bring that, bring those.
They all liked me too.
Make long story short,
All of them had this belief: Everything is going to be great.
Just one belief that went to everyone around.
They never been wrong,  not even one time.
Smile:)
Just reading between the lines.
If something about depression,  write all the .. and may be give me to read or keep for very old days,
Show the grandchildren:
You see, I made it!
I 've read so much stuff,
It all seemed funny,
At first people were a bit
I don't know.. surprised,  don't like word mad,
Then they were laughing listening to me.
They said I was crazy.
And if someone crazier than you,
That's not that ... problematic.

 

Those women, I used to work with:
Depressed, divorced, some other issues.
It was a program for men and women,
My aunt's friend had some connection
And I got that job, not for long time,
But we spent some time together.
All those women had files,
And after a while, I noticed,
The profiles, written by the government officials:
Simple language, facts,
Didn't much their stories they had to write every day.
The files were something a normal woman wants to forget and move on.
And I felt that for those women
"past was illusion, biggest confusion".
They couldn't talk anything, but the past,
That wasn't even there most of the time.
Who would know what was right, who was right, who was wrong?
All mixed together.
After they were writing about the future and couldn't put two words together,
And the past, everything related to it, had fifty pages.
Now was a problem too, because they had no clue who even loves them,
Not even talking about what to do.
There are always people who loves us,
Who want to see your happy face, smile,
Know we are all right..
And for them at first we have to put our self together,
Start from now, see the facts...

 

I have been in the forest a lot,
Some places may be no one will ever see at all.
People who showed it, not just to me, all the kids in our village,
Were bringing this knowledge from generations.
Like you know 3 centuries: 19, 20 and 21.
They used to believe in mermaids,  we saw rivers and you feel someone lives there.
Trees that touching the way people would touch.
Roads cannot cross in shoes, flowers cannot step much.
Now it's all so I wired, just those old ladies were 80 - 90 years old and they could walk far, had interesting talk..

 

My father and my uncle who likes campaign and fishing
Went to fishing.
My uncle didn't work at that time and I think my aunt
sent him somewhere else, starts with "h".
Don't remember if the inflatable bout was our toy before or after the fishing.
It had a few holes,  close the middle of the river they kind of figured it out.
At last my uncle knew how to swim a bit like a frog..

 

 

When I was 6 or 7 years old

On New Year Eve (that what we celebrate)

I got exactly the same paint box.

I bought a new one, my son is painting. 

I had never seen anything like this before.

And I started to say thank you God.

And 6 years after my parents divorced, country felt down, was giant economical crisis.

We had nothing to do after school,  only sitting on the streets,  running around,  we didn't even have a good playground. 

Then the city opened first art school,  I went with my friends,  then by myself and all the bottom line of the city life was left behind...

 

 

My uncle who was a first non government farmer
Got from as bunnies,  we couldn't handle this balcony business.
Then he got the pig,  a few same colour cats, motorcycle in many pieces and three wheels from my father's car, that's only was left.
My step brothers drove it to show off some friends.
The rest they blamed on girlfriends.
Even a police detective didn't know what happened.
Bank loan was kind of a problem for one year.
Grandma said: at least nothing happened to them...
That how the story was left.

 

Story tellers say when a baby smiles or laughs for the first time,
Fairy is born somewhere on the sky.
I have played with this baby,
His grandpa said the baby laughed and smiled two times,
And then has two fairies.
All the good things the baby got doubled two times:
Two toys, two apples,  two books,  two same sweaters.
Now two cars, two houses,  twins children...