I was a young girl living in the Soviet Union, where the religion of
Christianity was prohibited and prosecuted against by the government since
1917.
I was six years old and it was New Years Eve. I received a fancy oil
painting box set as a New Year gift. I had never seen anything like this before
and for some reason I started to thank God for it.
I was looking towards the dark night sky through the window and was
quietly saying “Thank you God” again and again.
And from that time on, God has become my friend!
At that moment, at sis years old, I could never have imagined that my
parents would one day get divorced; Soviet Union would end its history, life in
our city would change for the worst and that art school I later attended would
protect me from the bad influences of the our streets…
***
One of the most interesting things I have seen on
the sky,
Was my name and word "hi".
I was very small, my grandmother said:
Irina, look and she pointed her hand on the sky.
I was reading: Irina, hi...
We were at the middle of rye lands, beautiful
summer days.
The wind, the sun, bright blue sky saying “hi”…
I smiled!
Still remember that wonderful feeling.
***
Once upon time,
On the birth day,
They have been blessed by Angel.
All in white, wings behind, very bright.
She is standing on one knee.
The Angel smiling, light is getting brighter.
Touching shoulder, then right cheek, crossing above head.
She has to look down, close eyes for seconds, think something good, and smile in mind.
Then look to see how the Angel flying up.
Just a story.
On the birth day,
They have been blessed by Angel.
All in white, wings behind, very bright.
She is standing on one knee.
The Angel smiling, light is getting brighter.
Touching shoulder, then right cheek, crossing above head.
She has to look down, close eyes for seconds, think something good, and smile in mind.
Then look to see how the Angel flying up.
Just a story.
***
I have
seen how the old women prayed,
Long
time ago.
Not a
few words: please help, make strong.
No.
It was
an endless song,
Over
and over, again and again.
I
thought how it could be,
A few
words can't change everything.
Six
year ago, I had a reason to try,
For a
good friend of mine.
She
was told,
Something
was wrong.
I
thought I will try,
And I
did.
It
worked, because of me or not,
I
don't know.
There
was nothing wrong after all.
My
pray was really a song.
When
you cannot feel anything else,
Except
a few words again and again,
Until
you know,
Nothing
will be the same.
***
I worked at a bank for about a year.
Was a new employee and like everywhere.
Did what I told, no complaints,
With hope to get one dollar raise.
Nothing special, except one day
I don't really forget.
Salary time, on a factory, far in
suburbs,
It was once a month like a "big
bank curse".
Criminal region, dark and insane.
Everyone in the bank like:
We have a new employee to train!
All looking at me:
Go suburbs, it is okay,
You are young, you can walk all day!
No bases, two hours way,
But lots of stars will shine anyway.
No cell phone, take mine,
We are sure, you’ll be fine.
.
The factory office, I worked all,
Tons of complains, but I smiled anyway,
Thinking only when are they all will go
home.
Finely, finely the day is over.
And I have all night to get home.
Alone, no light, no bases, not taxi.
Craziest time.
No, there was the moon, my new friend.
If I did ever something wrong,
It will be forgotten now for all.
I was really at the end nowhere,
Just me, the star and the moon.
Then something pushed me at the back
very hard,
Touched my wrist..
I had no idea what was that.
When I landed, speaking that way,
I had no time to think.
I went home, woke up earlier the very
next day.
Took a taxi to see that place anyway.
What I looked at, surprised me or
shocked me,
What's better to say.
At the place where I was that night
Where I met the strange force,
There was a big hole on the road,
Full of junk, garbage, wood, pieces of
railway road,
It can fit even a tank, a big one.
In the dark I went the wrong way.
I went home, completely freaked out,
Told I was not going to work any more.
My grand mother told what she knew about
Her grandmother, aunt, the natural healers.
One time all meet Guardian Angel...
***
Long time ago, in 19 century was living a
married woman, my great great great...
grandma.
One day she went with her daughter and
husband on the market to buy a cow.
They had money, but didn't pick the cow.
Way back home was dark, moonless night,
Old village, no light.
Almost near the house, a strange man jumped
from the dark and fell on his knees, started to kiss the ground and the woman's
dress:
Sorry, sorry, sorry, please forgive,
Here my money, take everything.
Talking nonstop.
What is wrong?
In the house after tea, the stranger tells
the story,
He was watching, wanted to steal, hiding in
the darkest trees.
No, get out, - a woman told him.
Angry eyes, cannot forget.
God's mother was looking at him…
***
Long
time ago me and my grandma
Went
to see her friend,
Who
lived very far from the city
In the
middle of forest.
I
thought we would never make it.
(Somewhere
in this place,
But we
could not find the right way).
When
he only looked at me,
He
smiled and said:
She
has different eyes,
Let
her stay with me.
I was
only 15, why would stay with an old man?
My
grandma was happy, agreed right away,
We
stayed for a week.
All
thought to run away, boring,
Picking
grass, mushrooms, feting birds.
After
a while I forgot all bout him,
Then
last year I was explaining colors to my son.
I said
my eyes are blue,
My son
did not agree.
He
said its green and blue.
***
This man was sitting in front of my great grandma,
His wife, wiping eyes.
I didn’t hear the dialog, only few words:
Old woman from village… and is that all?
Next few days great grandma was only praying and crying.
Than big dinner, few words: he will be fine,
God cannot stand my tears.
After a while that man was back, messed my hair near the door:
Be proud baby.
***
Lady, natural healer said:
People can fix anything as far as they are living.
That only question she asked when someone refer a friend.
She was old, than older, than more strong, more beautiful, different kind of beauty, knew everything about nature and nature paid back...
Blessed by Angel neighbours used to say,
Very warm hands touching face, blessing, smiling, giving advice.
Never give up...
We had her one hundred birthday party...
People can fix anything as far as they are living.
That only question she asked when someone refer a friend.
She was old, than older, than more strong, more beautiful, different kind of beauty, knew everything about nature and nature paid back...
Blessed by Angel neighbours used to say,
Very warm hands touching face, blessing, smiling, giving advice.
Never give up...
We had her one hundred birthday party...
***
The oldest family member I met was great grandmother' aunt.
She was very old, and I was afraid a bit go to her room on my own.
Usually I would say hi, grab chocolate from the small table and run away.
(All old women used to give me candy, they it makes us happier).
Then years after people still talked about her,
How she helped, blessed, and the blessing stayed in.
True blessing goes for generations, nothing can touch it....
She was very old, and I was afraid a bit go to her room on my own.
Usually I would say hi, grab chocolate from the small table and run away.
(All old women used to give me candy, they it makes us happier).
Then years after people still talked about her,
How she helped, blessed, and the blessing stayed in.
True blessing goes for generations, nothing can touch it....
***
My grandmother asked her grandmother one time,
Sometimes in 1935.
Can you really predict future,
Can you see what's going to be?
The old grandmother said:
If you ask me, all I can say,
Everything is going to be great.
Smile to the sky, send air kiss,
Touch a tree, wash your face in the rain,
Look at the stars, moon, sun...
Become friend with the nature,
And it will stand up forever for you.
Sometimes in 1935.
Can you really predict future,
Can you see what's going to be?
The old grandmother said:
If you ask me, all I can say,
Everything is going to be great.
Smile to the sky, send air kiss,
Touch a tree, wash your face in the rain,
Look at the stars, moon, sun...
Become friend with the nature,
And it will stand up forever for you.
***
I asked my grandmother about her grandmother and great grandmother,
Because in the village people were still talking about them, one hundred years after may be..
My grandmother said: they could do anything!
In terms of personal well being.
Anything.
Even their loving touch, strong belief that everything will be just great, kind words,
Made a big difference.
My grandmother, mother never have a doubt they wouldn't do the right thing.
Their nature, probably, goes before them...
Because in the village people were still talking about them, one hundred years after may be..
My grandmother said: they could do anything!
In terms of personal well being.
Anything.
Even their loving touch, strong belief that everything will be just great, kind words,
Made a big difference.
My grandmother, mother never have a doubt they wouldn't do the right thing.
Their nature, probably, goes before them...
***
I heard from a special person on special time
Something you will believe or may be just try.
Turn to the sun and close your eyes.
Look very deep inside, the deepest you can.
Ask what you deserve the most, ask well.
And through the darkness try find brightest light.
The light will shine from inside.
In shape of a bell with open wings.
One time I asked old lady
How can she help somebody?
Without really know them,
Not being a doctor,
Just touching hands.
She said, you see the image.
And this image comes once in a while in your mind.
This when you, yourself smile,
Because you know you can help,
Everything will be fine.
You can see yourself
At that time,
You talk to this person, smile, make laugh,
give a hug.
You at home look at the sky,
Smile again, because the sky with you already.
When the first picture gone,
This when the person recovers.
You start to feel happy
When you touch hand, you giving the energy,
You feel heat from the skin,
You believe so strong,
Nothing ever goes wrong.
***
My grandmother' aunt was very brave.
She worked hard, went to the Second World War, returned with medals,
danced the best, could say what she wanted, and didn't care what everyone
thinks.
And she would always say, even I remember:
God loves me!
