Poems,stories and pictures by Irina Mouravleva.
don't know story
Poetess: what kind of idiot wants to live on one salary.
I can't even introduce myself,
It will be a joke.
The real witch: moving again?
Remember I used ketchup to prove my virginity.
And he believed me, luckily I got pregnant.
Poetess: it was my idea.
Remember we took severely depressed people from my father's office to another city and I lost their passports.
Good that they sewed money in the underwear.
Everyone used to do it.
My father only had passport, but he was the doctor, team leader.
I left bag on the bench..
The real witch: it was your idea.
Traveling and fresh air.
See you have ideas.
Poetess: not today, I am miserbl ..some words I don't say.
One time I wrote gi...up and five minutes after I had food poisoning, mild..
The real witch: remember our business adventures, tourists, dogs, two moons..
I can't even introduce myself,
It will be a joke.
The real witch: moving again?
Remember I used ketchup to prove my virginity.
And he believed me, luckily I got pregnant.
Poetess: it was my idea.
Remember we took severely depressed people from my father's office to another city and I lost their passports.
Good that they sewed money in the underwear.
Everyone used to do it.
My father only had passport, but he was the doctor, team leader.
I left bag on the bench..
The real witch: it was your idea.
Traveling and fresh air.
See you have ideas.
Poetess: not today, I am miserbl ..some words I don't say.
One time I wrote gi...up and five minutes after I had food poisoning, mild..
The real witch: remember our business adventures, tourists, dogs, two moons..
I was talking to my grandmother this morning..
She had a cake,
Russia is celebrating winning the Second World War,
72 years ago the war ended and it's pretty much my great grand parents generations, and my grandfather was driving tank too..
For people I know, who didn't give up and
didn't let people around to give up..
don't know story
The Bad one: and?
Where is beautiful story about me?
Good thing I am in wonderful mood.
Grandma Witch: Boss is here, let's hide.
The Bad one (to himself): stupid witches.
... is your boss.
(louder) stupid rules, stupid laws, stupid taxes (counting one million dollars), stupid birds (wiping expensive car), stupid weather .. plus one hundred degrees, stupid people.
Inner voice: not every one.
The Bad one: good thing I am too busy saving this planet,
Your friends won't hesitate to blew it up.
Inner voice: my books...
The Bad one: exactly.
Donald: we have a great news from a la France.
And if anyone asks my name again,
Tell them I have identity crisis!
My, ours, a Le Franse, madam, has new president.
I told myself, look at this kid, how fast he rides his a la bicycle on the beach,
Left, right, unknown circles, bumpted at few people.
Let him do the same in politics.
Eat croissants and make a la French love.
Arevuare.
What a .. is French love?
Oh, madmoasele, you provoque me on French kiss,
In my le officie..
Well for that I have to take off my jacket
And you have to take off your shoes,
Since you have nothing else on you...
Sit right here on top of this dictionary and some paperwork..
And don't talk, this is a la American style.
Arevuar, busy..
Where is beautiful story about me?
Good thing I am in wonderful mood.
Grandma Witch: Boss is here, let's hide.
The Bad one (to himself): stupid witches.
... is your boss.
(louder) stupid rules, stupid laws, stupid taxes (counting one million dollars), stupid birds (wiping expensive car), stupid weather .. plus one hundred degrees, stupid people.
Inner voice: not every one.
The Bad one: good thing I am too busy saving this planet,
Your friends won't hesitate to blew it up.
Inner voice: my books...
The Bad one: exactly.
Donald: we have a great news from a la France.
And if anyone asks my name again,
Tell them I have identity crisis!
My, ours, a Le Franse, madam, has new president.
I told myself, look at this kid, how fast he rides his a la bicycle on the beach,
Left, right, unknown circles, bumpted at few people.
Let him do the same in politics.
Eat croissants and make a la French love.
Arevuare.
What a .. is French love?
Oh, madmoasele, you provoque me on French kiss,
In my le officie..
Well for that I have to take off my jacket
And you have to take off your shoes,
Since you have nothing else on you...
Sit right here on top of this dictionary and some paperwork..
And don't talk, this is a la American style.
Arevuar, busy..
don't know story
Inner voice (holding night potty on the green sparkly stand): finally my dream came true
.. (with French accent) "midnight de vase" (reading) "Golden Idiot".
Donald : people try to get me in trouble.
People : where is the door?
Poetess : I can tell you that something free.
Inner voice : veggies.
.. (with French accent) "midnight de vase" (reading) "Golden Idiot".
Donald : people try to get me in trouble.
People : where is the door?
Poetess : I can tell you that something free.
Inner voice : veggies.
I was talking to my grandmother today.
She is staying home all day, writing, reading, TV, at 89.
And it's been like this since I remember.
Sometimes she says:
In 1941 my three uncles left for the Second World War,
At the first day, June 22, in the evening.
Now I don't remember anything much, don't remember how they looked ...
Only, how they hugged me, each of them,
And told "study good Irka".
She is staying home all day, writing, reading, TV, at 89.
And it's been like this since I remember.
Sometimes she says:
In 1941 my three uncles left for the Second World War,
At the first day, June 22, in the evening.
Now I don't remember anything much, don't remember how they looked ...
Only, how they hugged me, each of them,
And told "study good Irka".
don't know story
Poetess: I am back to work.
Inner voice: Congratulations!
Here, thank you card.
Poetess: why why why?
I took few days off, holidays.
Went to casino, was playing lottery, have new computer, was painting pictures with my son for sale.
Why do I have to work?
The real witch: when I was working long time ago I was praying non stop to never see people I was working with again.
And one day my dreams came true.
I think praying helps the most.
Inner voice: are you sure?
The real witch: I believe in God and I am proud.
Inner voice: such brave person...
The real witch: actually I didn't want to go to ..
(Everyone kind of wakes up from dreaming and crosses fast).
Grandma Witch: you supposed to tell this story to our tourists, not to believe in it.
( On the phone) No, no more tourists, no I don't take students or teach.
Grandma: save us at least from this.
Aunt: I do acupuncture twenty four seven.
Any time few needles in the bottom half.
Author: another secret revelation.
Grandma: I think rebeletion.
Look what the government does to own people.
Inner voice: some government, the one we don't know.
Grandma: giving one dollar raise on pension and increasing everything on ten dollars next day.
Jail is crying for this government.
The real witch: Grandma..
Inner voice: Grandma is watching too much television and on the Internet most of the time.
I am telling you freedom starts after eighty, so wait.
Grandma: one day some one is going to say something, trust me.
Donald: why is everything is sold or stolen already?
How new generations supposed to steal?
Any one, any clues?
Inner voice: you should change your name.
Grandma: my bird is not quiet, why we have to be quiet?
Poetess: enough politics on Friday,
Especially when we get salary.
Inner voice: money!
Poetess: I bought new scale with numbers,
The one I had, the spinning one, was lying all the time.
And I believed,
Now I am ten pounds heavier.
J: you should exercise and not eat.
Poetess: my son.
Everyone: the baby!
J: shut up.
Everyone: learning how to be a man,
How wonderful!
On this happy note let's say thank you and see you to the stupidest book.
Author: will be my honour!
Inner voice: Congratulations!
Here, thank you card.
Poetess: why why why?
I took few days off, holidays.
Went to casino, was playing lottery, have new computer, was painting pictures with my son for sale.
Why do I have to work?
The real witch: when I was working long time ago I was praying non stop to never see people I was working with again.
And one day my dreams came true.
I think praying helps the most.
Inner voice: are you sure?
The real witch: I believe in God and I am proud.
Inner voice: such brave person...
The real witch: actually I didn't want to go to ..
(Everyone kind of wakes up from dreaming and crosses fast).
Grandma Witch: you supposed to tell this story to our tourists, not to believe in it.
( On the phone) No, no more tourists, no I don't take students or teach.
Grandma: save us at least from this.
Aunt: I do acupuncture twenty four seven.
Any time few needles in the bottom half.
Author: another secret revelation.
Grandma: I think rebeletion.
Look what the government does to own people.
Inner voice: some government, the one we don't know.
Grandma: giving one dollar raise on pension and increasing everything on ten dollars next day.
Jail is crying for this government.
The real witch: Grandma..
Inner voice: Grandma is watching too much television and on the Internet most of the time.
I am telling you freedom starts after eighty, so wait.
Grandma: one day some one is going to say something, trust me.
Donald: why is everything is sold or stolen already?
How new generations supposed to steal?
Any one, any clues?
Inner voice: you should change your name.
Grandma: my bird is not quiet, why we have to be quiet?
Poetess: enough politics on Friday,
Especially when we get salary.
Inner voice: money!
Poetess: I bought new scale with numbers,
The one I had, the spinning one, was lying all the time.
And I believed,
Now I am ten pounds heavier.
J: you should exercise and not eat.
Poetess: my son.
Everyone: the baby!
J: shut up.
Everyone: learning how to be a man,
How wonderful!
On this happy note let's say thank you and see you to the stupidest book.
Author: will be my honour!
don't know story
Donald ( suspiciously looking at Minnie ): oh God,
Who is this ?
My wife?
Every morning she looks like different person..
Make up now is like magic in ancient times,
You say good night and good morning two different people.
May be I should fall asleep with the light?
Then I will be awake all night..
The real witch : enough nonsenses,
Time to donate money to my beautiful charity.
Inner voice : money for what?
The real witch : didn't I say,
For my beautiful charity.
Inner voice : and what the money will be for?
The real witch : for beautiful things.
Inner voice : like what?
The real witch : get out now,
Asking too many questions.
The government asked me only question,
How much profit he will get.
Donald : I will write biography book
"What you don't know about Donald".
Simple to read, clear. . with one sentence :
You don't know anything about Donald.
Will personally glue few baby pictures.
The real witch : all the donations I will buy candies to children, Lego, ice cream.
Poetess : why can't I have such great ideas...
Who is this ?
My wife?
Every morning she looks like different person..
Make up now is like magic in ancient times,
You say good night and good morning two different people.
May be I should fall asleep with the light?
Then I will be awake all night..
The real witch : enough nonsenses,
Time to donate money to my beautiful charity.
Inner voice : money for what?
The real witch : didn't I say,
For my beautiful charity.
Inner voice : and what the money will be for?
The real witch : for beautiful things.
Inner voice : like what?
The real witch : get out now,
Asking too many questions.
The government asked me only question,
How much profit he will get.
Donald : I will write biography book
"What you don't know about Donald".
Simple to read, clear. . with one sentence :
You don't know anything about Donald.
Will personally glue few baby pictures.
The real witch : all the donations I will buy candies to children, Lego, ice cream.
Poetess : why can't I have such great ideas...
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