My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

We got to Moscow and I understood why all the war we were thinking about being strong for our capital.

Feeling of happiness was flowing everywhere, it was in the air.

We went to his house. The room was golden, the brightest, the sunshine.

“My grandfather and uncles are Priests. My mother like this style and we keep it like this.

And they had piano. Here, in this house, the war was over for me. I felt we won and we will have happy life and good future for our country. We will rebuilt and built again everything.

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

It was 1949, after the war. I was studying in medical university and at summer, as usual, back home, helping my parents.

We were on the farm working with other girls.

My aunt ran to me, sweating from the long run.

“Where's is your mother?! A man from Moscow is looking for her. Go, met him, he is in my house. Wear this."

She said, breathing heavily and pushing me her the best blouse.

At that time, Moscow was another reality, something we all rely on. The capital of our country.

I fast walk home thinking why someone from Moscow is looking for my mother.

I opened the door at my aunt's house and there's was a young man sitting at the table.

And when I looked at him, he stood up and nodded.

I felt like a basket of cold water was thrown over me. Fresh, cool feeling, refreshing at hot summer day.

I kind of froze a little from that feeling.

He told me after, he had the same feeling.

He was dressed in the suit, and was wearing hat. He had tiny smell of cologne. And looked very different from the men here.

He had gentle, soft look. His hand, when he shacked mine, was soft too.

“I have this letter" – he said.

I read the letter. Some one was asking my mother to help this young former soldier and heal him.

After, I understood, he was in the battle, in the tank, riding it. The tank was shot in the battle and exploded leaving this man with many injuries.

My mother got home. We went to our house. She looked at him, at me and said: “I will help you".

He was living with us for one year. After a while he invited me to Moscow to see his family.

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

In February 1942 my brother got a note that he has to go for medical exam to join the army. He was in the last year of school. He was leaving in about one week. I made him a small towel and stitched it with roses.

“Bring it back" – I told him when he was leaving to the military centre.

“I will" – he said.

And he brought the towel back in 1946.

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

Two men, father and son, were sitting at the our table. My mother poured little bit vodka in tiny grass. The father and her drank together.

The son was leaving to the war. A bag was near his feet.

“To the recruiting center” – the father said.

“Too far", - my mother replied.

“We walk" – the father replied.

And they started to talk about the old days, before the revolution in 1917.

“The war is not the same now" – the father said again after drinking another little glass of vodka.

“Bless him" – he asked my mother.

“No father" – the young man looked at his father. And he tried to stand fast, almost dropping spoon in plate.

“Sit down" – his father looked at him so strong, that the young man sat and started to eat again.

“I will. It's for the war" – my mother smiled – “You only come back".

She took another chair and sat close to the young man.

The young man just turned to and didn't say anything.

My mother touched his cheek.

“It is my blessing. It will go for generations. For everyone who will touch your hand, who will go after. Nothing can stand against it".

Remember his name, she told me, before they were leaving.

Every morning, all war, we would pray about him.

When they left, my mother looked at the window.

“Communist “ – she said.

 

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

At the end of simmer we stayed somewhere on the fields near forests preparing grass for winter. It was very warm and women were wearing open tops. Some women had scars on their shoulders. They were pulling metal pieces to dig up the soil and prepare it for the planting, on the farm and were they had own land. My mother had the same scars. She always worried about our cow more then she cared about herself. “Our feeder “ – she would say petting the cow.

Most of the horses were sent to the army, leaving only few for extreme situations. Where machines couldn't go, because all the empty lands were used, the women were pulling those digging pieces on themselves.

It was night, we were sleeping under the open sky. The stars were everywhere. I was just looking at the stars.

I felt like I was going far up to those stars, very fast through the dark space. Probably I was imagining. Cosmos and tiny white dots. I saw a person, how I would draw her on the paper. It was her, woman, half animal and half person. Like there was line dividing her on paper. Beautiful face on the right side and animal on the left. She was friendly, felt almost warm, good friend. She had nice, fancy clothes and beautiful face.

“The earth is shaking “ – my mother said.

“There's big fight somewhere. Big fight.“ – another woman replied.

“Where?" – I whispered.

“Sleep" – my mother said again.

And I was only listening their conversation.

“Where are these gills will look for the husbands?”

“The war will be over and men will come back home".

“Hopefully soon. Listen how the ground is shaking”.

In the morning I started to think a young soldier I would marry.

“He is mine!” – for some reason I screamed to the air.

“Mine!” – the echo answered.

“Mine, mine, mine!”

“Mine, mine, mine" – almost like the echo was laughing back.

I took a small stone and threw it in the air.

“He is mine" – I said again.

 

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

The room was full of people. Simple food on the table, potatoes and vodka in long glass bottle. It was some dinner together.  May be twenty people. First everyone was talking about the war, and our army. A man in military uniform gave a speech. And then we wished everyone come back home. Its was long talk, everyone wanted to say something, to wish and promise.

A woman stood up. She was sitting with two little boys. I noticed every one would put more food in their plates. She was young skinny woman wearing old jacket.

The woman said: “ We came here from the occupied territory. Germans were everywhere. They walked on our streets. My house was almost at the center and every day I would see German officer riding his car. Every day. We got a paper that we live in this city. We were not allowed to leave it, not allowed to lock the doors and close the blinds on the windows. Two German soldiers would stood up close to the windows and laugh looking at us. It was their entertainment. They took some people to work in Germany, some disappeared, and children too. I was lucky that I looked sick, and my children too. We didn't have food. The Germans took everything. People who were helping them told us “Soon you will have new masters". I tried to leave, but it was impossible. One morning I went outside at the same time the German officer was driving his car. He never looked at anyone, always looking straight. I followed his car with my eyes. And I just looked at small fire man running after his car. It was short looking like man, a figure made from fire, with flames. I could see it. The fire man ran after the car and then straight.  And this second, I knew, we will get out. We went to the forest, without food, or extra clothes. We were stopped by Nazi police. I told, we were going to the forest, on the edge, to get berries, because we had no food. They let us go, told to come back before the dark. We start to walk, further, further and further. Then our partisans found us.”

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

The war changed everything. Women and children replaced men.

We had harvest in August and September 1941, two months before the war had started and women were everywhere. Even driving trucks for pickups were women. In my school, post office, the farm, almost everywhere. Only men who couldn't be replaced and old men, they stayed. And young boys, teenagers who were too young to join the army. Every day when I looked or we looked at each other, we knew there is war.

My aunt left to work on a factory that was making tanks. Once a month me and my cgrandmother were bringing her food. The factory was in a city, far. We had to walk for about an hour and catch a truck going to the city.

It was winter, February, cold. Me, and my grandmother were walking to the stop and when we got there in an hour, there were no truck. My heart felt like dropped, and surely, my grandmother's  too.

We waited for another hour, alone, on the field of snow. And there were no trucks.

“We have to go to another stop" – my grandmother said wearing her bag back on her back.

We started to walk again. For one more hour. I don't remember, I was freezing. My face, my legs, my feet, everything. Soon I couldn't walk. I set at the snow and started to cry.

I looked around, white snow and clear blue sky. There were no trees or hills. Only big open space.

I felt I was dreaming. The sun was just shining through me.

Some one kicked my foot. I looked up, almost like in a dream.

“I cannot walk anymore “ – I looked at her.

She looked so high up. White like snow, with light blue eyes.

“I cannot walk anymore “ – I replied.

My grandmother looked at me, like she was very angry.

“What are you going to do? Freeze here?”

And some power lifted me up and put back on my feet.

We started to walk again. In two four hours I was hugging my aunt. She was so happy. We stayed with her at the room she was living with other women working at the factory. The room was packed, I had little space on the floor.

My aunt sat close to me, she smiled. Then she covered my head with a blanket leaving tiny space to breathe.

“This is your little house “ – she said smiling again.

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

We went to the train station. There were trains, many trains. One were going to the war, on the west from us. With soldiers and military equipment. I have never seen so many trains before, at the same time. Rocket launchers were going on and on, on the trains, in front of my eyes. I was looking up, military trucks, tanks.

And there were trains coming from the war, medical with insured soldiers and with people evacuating from the war zone.

I was standing on the station first time seeing for myself what war is.

People were scared, crying, looking for someone. Young future soldiers trying to find someone in the crowd.

Then I looked and there were four women in military uniform sitting on some boxes.

One woman was sitting on the top box. She didn't look like everyone else. How it felt. Her face was cold, serious. She was forced, put together like mountain. There were no fear in her.  Very calm.

I looked at my mother. Her face was serious too.

“Let's go" – she said.

We went home and stood on the knees.

We went to a deep, deep prayer. It was dark, felt like going through the dark, dark night, or thunder clouds. Few tiny balls like pearls were somewhere I could see.

“What do you want!” – voice said.

“Metal of steal" – I thought right a way and opened my eyes.

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

Every few day my mother would ask me: "Go see if there's fire.”
She would mean, go to the hill from where you can see the other side of the river.  She was waiting for someone on the different side of the village, in the forest.

We had small house in the forest. It wasn't very far, I knew how to get there, hidden tiny road, and my mother was waiting for someone to start fire place near the house. It was autumn already, started to get cold, we wearing boots and jackets.
The forest house. I smiled thinking about it. From the hill I could see the river and forest.
The house was built, how my mother said, one hundred years ago, she loved to talk about it. And I loved to listen her. The house was built few centuries before and with fixings keept on the same place. It was small village back then, and moved and the area became forest. My great grandmother and grandmother used to live in it. The furniture was still there, very simple, beds and table with inside fire place. They were healers and fried the grass inside.  
Sometimes they had people staying for few days. And some one would leave small gifts for me.
My mother would take me to clean the house and at night sit at my bed and tell me a story.
One of my favorite was how my grandmother and my mother when she was a child, how they saw the Russian Queen and two her daughters.
When my mother was small, it was before the Russian revolution, in 1917. She would walk together with people to far away cities.
One time, on the big square, carriage stopped. People around started to whisper “Queen,  Queen, Queen “.
A woman and two girls were sitting in the carriage. One of the girls, the older, she was wearing white dress and hat and looked like a snow flake.
The older girl stood and waive hand to us. She smiled, the smile was shy, like small tiny touch, like tiny sunlight. She was standing and I was looking at her clothes. Long creamy white dress, big white hat and hair under it, on the sides and thd back I could see few brown curls. She was wearing shoes matching the dress and gloves. And white pearls necklace and earrings. The dress was decorated on the top and looked like winter tiny too, crochet. Very warm feelings.
The Queen was sitting little bit sideways. She quickly  smiled too, then she became serious, looking at her younger daughter. The younger girl wad very exited. She almost jumped out of the carriage. The Queen told her something and the girl stood quietly near her for a second, then she crossed her hands and sit as she wad upset on the opposite side. All looked very funny.
Then the guard on the horse in fancy military clothes stood in front  of the carriage and the carriage started to move.
One evening I noticed small orange light in the forest. I was on the hill looking at the river thinking if war would come here.
“Fire, I saw the orange fire in the forest!” I ran inside of our house. My mother was reading newspaper at the table. My father and brother were at work.
My mother quickly got up, almost running, pushed bread, few cooked potatoes and bottle of milk in her bag, dressing at the same time. She was wearing skirt, jacket and military boots. I was dressed the same way except I had rubber boots.
We walked fast to the river. There were always few boats. I jumped in one of them and my mother pushed it a bit and jumped inside too. She was rowing it the opposite side.
“We have to hurry" -  she said.
Finally we reached the sandy river bank.
It was dark, but we started to walk forward without using any light.
Soon I notice smoke somewhere in front.
It was fire place on the open space in the forest. Not very big, but not blocked by trees.
Four people were sitting around it. They were wearing rain coats.
My mother walked to that fire place and I followed.
“Sit eat with us”- it was a woman voice.
My mother, she was tired, and she sit as if she was falling down.
“Eat with us" – some one repeated again.
We hesitated.
“It is war" – the unknown woman told again.
My mother took the food we brought and put together with their food.
A woman next to me pored bowl of soup from the pot on the fire place and gave it to me.
I noticed her hands, actually I started to stare at it. Beautiful thin ligh skin hands. In our village all the women had rough hands, hand of working farm women. The hands I was looking, in the dark, lights from the fire were shining on , defining more its beauty. Musicians would have this kind of hands.
The woman gave me the plate, I didn't see her face, I felt she was smiling.
“I am scared” – my mother said, - ‘when are you leaving “.
“Don't worry “ – the woman replied.
I was eating, it was quite for a while.
My mother took her bag and found piece of clothing. She opened it, there were money in it.
“Take it", - she started to push the money to the woman next to her and started to cry.
“Keep your tears for our victory. Our brothers and sisters. We will fight with them".
I started to cry too, not showing it to anyone.
We ate the food and left. And sat quietly on the boat going back home.   

My grandmother's memories about the Second World war.

In few days, very short from the time the Second World war had started, my uncle stopped by our house.
The though of war was known, people thought about it, it was in the air, because Western Europe was already attacked and occupied. Only thing, we didn't believe the German would attack us too, and it will be very fast and massive on the amount of land they quickly invade.
My uncle was wearing a suit. His only one special occasions suit. He didn't walk from the main entrance. He walked from the back door, from the garden where we were growing potatoes and vegetables, it was big land. And further were huge farm lands. Actually all the gardens on our street were facing that way, the farm lands.
He smiled sitting on the bench.  Then he took harmonica, very small music instrument wich he always carried with him on weekends. He would sit and play and if there where birds around, the birds would sing with him playing. When we were small, he would take us somewhere far, to play and stay overnight listening stories. And birds would fly and sit on his shoulder and listen too.

“I got a note to join the army. Tomorrow morning I am leaving. Save this until I come back ,“ – he said giving harmonica to my father. My father was hesitant for few seconds, he knew, my uncle would never leave his harmonica. It was special.
“That's okay, we will fight” – my father replied.
In a day or two our neighbor came earlier to the house. She was already wearing military uniform. She brought her cat and two kittens.
“Our hospital is leaving “. She looked almost apologizing. "They don't want cats". She was young. How I always remember her. Young woman in military uniform holding a box with two kittens. And my uncle, looking far away and playing harmonica.