Pharaoh.

Servant 2: we brought you a gift.

King: I don't worry.

I got it.

Servant 1: we will find right now.

King: I don't worry.

I got it.

Servant 2: you repeat the same thing.

King: don't worry, got it.

Pharaoh: explain that.

Servant 1: he don’t want laughing.

Pharaoh: in my understanding, before,  kings could have 100, 200, 300, 500 wives.

Servant 1: not bad.

King: our government can't afford it.

They have to ask you ID to pick up one more.

The good thing, we find and do see your gold.

Servant 1: did it include servants?

Servant 2: I am not fixing 500 houses.

 

 

Pharaoh.

King: we were alone in the house today.

She was bugging me the whole morning.

It can’t be always me!

In every conversation.

Servant 1: Pharaoh, you can make only one wish.

King: a woman.

Servant 2: last wish on our list.

Pharaoh: I remember you were making few wishes already.

Servant 1: we don't like our jobs.

Servant 2: we want to go home earlier.

Pharaoh: you took 20 minutes extra today.

King: I took 15!

Servant 2: we are sorry.

King: Pharaoh, you will like her.

Long hair, blond.

Very, very nice.

Pharaoh: how old?

King: older then you.

Pharaoh: I am five thousand years old.

King: three, four years older then you.

Queen: did you make the mess?

King: it was a dog.

Servant 2: this what happens when you see horse in your house.

King: Pharaoh,  you can get insurance with certain ability if you behave.

On Fridays.

Like going to principal's office.

Servant 1: it’s a dog.

Queen: its probably also a whale.

Servant 1: we took this on the next level.

Servant 2: lots of food at winter.

Pharaoh: looks like something epic.

King: it’s a hamburger.

 

 

 

 

New Kings.

King: can you please hold phone for a while.

Queen: my boyfriend?

King: kind of.

Servant 2: she will find her dream.

King: someone?

We need only Pharaoh.

Servant 1: I think we made the same wish twice.

Servant 2: our problem is that we shop without shopping list.

Servant 1: I start to see things!

Queen: crazy.

King: where is the shopping list!

Diamond.

Queen: what happened to Diamond?

Servant 1: he had only one bite!

King: there’s always one customer who has only one bite.

Servant 2: eat the whole thing.

King: its perfect.

Queen: what?

King: whatever is cooking.

Queen: is this the missing pot?!

King: I always want to play basketball.

Servant 1: figure skating.

Servant 2: me either.

Queen: we have to write a report!

King: what woman is not a detective.

Servant 2: 100 % cooks instantly.

King: we can’t tell her everything.

She will think we are super heroes.

Servant 1: we can go to the Olympics.

King: sh…

Queen: it grants only one wish.

Servant 2: I got it for 200 points!

King: why it has to be about sports?

Servant 1: athletes are particularly ambitious.

King: forget about skating.

Servant 2: we are going to beat you in basketball.

Servant 1: taekwondo  

Queen: how are you both winning?

Servant 2: they are cheating,  this how.

King: not me.

Servant 1: depends, deal or no deal.

King: did you read the sign “look at the mirror!”

Servant 1: deal or no deal.

We can be good at it.

Servant 2: why only one wish?

There are many wishes left.

King: they had to pick the lowest number.

Servant 2: may be a lot of ways to play?

King: yes “give me the money!”

Queen: is it win possible in this economy?

It will take forever.

There are so many million dollars.

Cup of tea, one million, gas, one million, bread, one million.

King: again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Diamond.

Diamond: excuse me.

King: very briefly. 

Diamond: someone stole my pot.

King: getting more compliments?

Diamond: I can't believe you here!

King: imagine if it steams?

Diamond: even one will think it's me!

King: it's not you.

I still wonder what we drilled?

Diamond: they all said it!

King: they are not nice, we are.

You should've written something on it.

Diamond: people order one thing and then want something else!

King: go have fun.

Diamond: no drinks, no fun.

My pot could grand one wish.

King: really?

We will remember for next time. 

Diamond: send a text, may be anyone remembers anything. 

King: thankfully, we don't have zero forks.

May be you come out as a good boy.

Pharaoh.

Servant 2: we have donuts and coke in the kitchen.

Pharaoh: I wasn't trying to keep one.

You are still working?

Servant 2: we are your shadow.

its Friday!

And she will not see my back until 9 o'clock, this when the stores are closed.

Friday night is Friday right.

Pharaoh: she is your wife.

Servant 2: yeah, we need more sugar to stay young.

 

Diamond.

Diamond: I can’t believe this!

Some one stole my pot.

They literally grabbed from my hands!

So much about hospitality.

King: leave it alone.

Quick solution to many questions.

You are the one who was not holding it.

Diamond: leave it alone!

This is my identification document!

King: this how you learn.

You can take a pot from our kitchen.

Diamond: those pots are lighter than feather!

 

Pharaoh.

King: common  Pharaoh!

Twenty years old is good only for one night!

You will be tricked!

I wish I was.

Servant 1: twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty years will make huge difference.

King: where's is the queen?

Where is our twenty years old!

Send her message on pager “one dollar and something, something “.

She knows exactly what I am talking about.

Pastor: good morning sweethearts.

Queen: run away pastor.

You closed your church in the flood and left everyone behind!

Pastor: that was the idea.

We are not wonder land.

We are not emotional rollercoaster. 

For your information,  the government informed about the rain one month in advance. 

It was on the news.

It's not my fault, everyone thought the government was joking. 

Queen: it makes no sense. 

Pastor: it was only raining non stop for two hours.

Queen: two days!

Pastor: sweetheart, you eat too many sweets. 

Too much sugar.

Queen: so you figured this all out.

Pastor: I don't know what it means.

We can go to the church only when we know everything, everything. 

Do we know why people didn't hide somewhere else?

Do we know why fell so much rain that day, twenty years ago?

All you can do, is forget about it.

You can sit next to me and we can talk.

Queen: King want me always have in mind Pharaoh, his slaves and gold.

Pastor: does Pharaoh know where to find it?

It was long years.

See, may be he can see it in his dreams.

Queen: in details?

Pastor: you never know, keep the shining the lights on above all the region.

 

Pharaoh.

King: where's is Pharaoh?

Servant 1: which one?

King: we know only one.

Open the door, I want to see ladies in the gym.

Servant 1: you want to see the gym?

King: I said "I want to see ladies in the gym"!

Why would i want to see the gym?

Servant 1: how was your trip with Pharaoh?

King: heavily drinking. 

We didn't argue that much.

Stop looking at the door and smile.

Servant 1: I remember queen saying "oh yeah, he is going away!".

King: for the meeting, write "only don't bring tomatoes ".

Pharaoh.

King: and that’s all!

“Where is the king?”.

Queen: did you tell him that?

Pharaoh: where is the king?

Servant 2: busy with his baby.

Pharaoh: tell, I will be working all day.

Servant 2: I will be working with you.

I have a date today.

Fridays! No more!

Anything she tries,

And then “boom",

Its perfect again!

Three witches and the king.

King: stop rushing people!

First witch: there’s a bug!

This why I say “quick, quick, quick “.

King: she is 57 years old woman.

This is all her fault.

Second witch: may be you blame yourself today?

Third witch: let him blame someone else  for a change.

First witch: in ancient days you can have eight women on the side.

Third witch: its advance.

King: for my information.

Third witch: wrong.

First witch: they all will listen to you.

Third witch: and tell you what to do.

First witch: everything is perfectly wrong!

King: what do you do here?

Third witch: physics.

King: what time to what time?

Third witch: we are working 9 to 5.

Its constant physics.

 

 

Fat cats.

Fat cat: piggy, you are perfect.

Fat cat: we wish our boss is like you, with two pounds of cash.

Piggy: you would eat him.

Fat cat: piggy, you take everything with a smile!

Fat cat: here, you can’t say this, you can’t say that.

You can't say anything except “Aaaa!”.

Fat cat: can you be any slower!

Fat cat: you hear.

One minute!

Fat cat: lots of yogurt.

Fat cat: we have to keep our fur smooth.

Fat cat: doggy, we would share, but we have to go work like a wind.

Fat cat: we have boring job.

Piggy: I forgot, I used to do it.

Fat cat: if my kitty will not find my fur smooth, she will not know what to say.

 

Pharaoh.

Servant 1: you smell nice.

Servant 2: we can smell your perfume from the kitchen.

Pharaoh: my wife made it for me.

Five thousand years ago.

Servant 1: long time.

Pharaoh: where is the king?

Servant 1: with the witches.

Servant 2: he still thinks you are not real.

Servant 1: nice shoes.

Pharaoh: my wife bought for me.

One kilogram of gold.

Servant 2: how many years ago it was?

Servant 1: his wife doesn't buy him anything.

Servant 2: she said, he has more money then her.

Servant 1: she bought him a flag.

She said on Thursday “ I will buy you a flag" and she bought it on Friday.

Servant 2: we have to leave our work and go look for it.

This is stupid.

Pharaoh: may be the flag was in the office.

Servant 1: we checked, it wasn't there.

Apparently it was in the bedroom.

 

 

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: I can tell you what's crazy?

Actually, never mind.

Lazy!?

I only asked, you don't have to get angry.

First witch: what to say when you work for someone else.

King: your store has some good name,

I mean “For lease “.

Third witch: we thought you would forget.

King: I didn't.

Third witch: places like this are always open.

Second witch: Raptors always win, Blue Jay’s always win, but there is Toronto Maple Leaves…

Queen: who is hungry?

First witch: hangry?

Queen: hungry plus angry.

First witch: our kitchen.

King: so you haven nothing upstairs and everything downstairs?

Third witch: its fancy.

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: our king-bun!

King: answer your phone!

Third witch: they are fine.

King: you said you are bad.

Third witch: something wrong with us.

Mentally. 

Our equipment is matching our technology. 

Wear your glasses and look at this rock.

King: I bought you a gas tank.

You can stay nice and warm at winter.

Third witch: gas tank!?

You scare us.

Don't shake it.

Second witch: who bought the tractor?

You? 

Third witch: didn't you buy a tractor last year?

People can drive that.

Queen: I know. 

First witch: king looks like he wants to say something but stays quiet.

King: you know when people say "woman doesn't have mind on her own".

In my case, she does. 

I come home and I have to beg!

Third witch: everyone wants something. 

King: today she wants a plant.

There are a lot of plants outside. 

Bring a drink, turn on TV, walk the dog, wash the dishes, bring dinner upstairs, get soda.

Second witch: you have a dog?

King: I might need therapy. 

Should it be documented?