Poetess : I think I saw a ghost yesterday.
Inner voice : congratulations!
You won our super prise!
Poetess: A flower!
Thank you!
I actually would prefer cash..
The real witch: where?!
Poetess : I was taking pictures in my living room,
And one of the pictures had shadow on it...may be..
I was so disturbed..
Then I showed it to some one, but they said I am crazy.
I think I was writing a weird story another day too.
What if because of that?!
The real witch : help us, help us our Heavenly Father,
Help all together!
Grandma w.: where is the picture?
Poetess : I deleted it.
Aunt: thank Goodness!
Poetess : today I took few more pictures, but didn't see anything.
Grandma w: I changed my last name.
People want me to spice up their lives,
It's too much now,
When I was young I was very spicy.
Donald : corrupted media is after our golden fish, me,
But don't worry people,
We will take our flags and will go and fight the flood.
Critics : you probably don't even know how to swim.
Donald : to all my critics once again,
I have a boat.
Pastor (locks the door of empty Church from outside) : God will help.
Grandma w: good thing we didn't want to know, don't want to know and hopefully might not want to know anything.
This how we raised, we know nothing.
(to group of children): let's repeat again, practice makes perfect!
We don't know anything, we don't what to know anything,
When we know something, we have to stay quite because it is probably not our business.
Children: we don't know what are you talking about great grandma.
Inner voice : it's a blessing.
Poems,stories and pictures by Irina Mouravleva.
don't know story
Poetess : every morning I move pots from the gas stove on the table.
Inner voice : why?
Poetess : if it burns, I don't want it to burn with my pots on it.
Then people will say everything burned down because of my pots.
Inner voice : anyway, let's read daily newspaper..
Inner voice : why?
Poetess : if it burns, I don't want it to burn with my pots on it.
Then people will say everything burned down because of my pots.
Inner voice : anyway, let's read daily newspaper..
don't know story
Poetess : I will be just writing.
I have a great news.
Some one is interested in looking at this story.
A publisher!
And second news, I have cold.
This morning I went to supermarket to buy medicine,
The pharmacy section was closed,
But the alcohol section was open.
It's at Metro..in case ..
I bought small bottle of vodka, for disinfection..
Imagine me at work now.
Good thing no one noticing anything.
They say I am happy today..
I have a great news.
Some one is interested in looking at this story.
A publisher!
And second news, I have cold.
This morning I went to supermarket to buy medicine,
The pharmacy section was closed,
But the alcohol section was open.
It's at Metro..in case ..
I bought small bottle of vodka, for disinfection..
Imagine me at work now.
Good thing no one noticing anything.
They say I am happy today..
Poetess : I think I have to read the Bible.
Aunt : it helps the most!
Poetess : I have never read the Bible. ..
I know few prayers. .
Why do we have to work for money?
Grandma : this is absolutely unfair..
I was working for fifty five years.
Grandma W: oh.. (she never worked).
Mom: go read the Bible little bit.
Poetess : I think I saw a shadow at work,
Again and again, right next to me, like sparkles.
It was my hair shining on the sides.
Orange color reflects the light.
Poetess : back to my nightmare dream.
It was at day time.
I was in the room with a creepy looking man.
Like not scary looking but weirdly. .
He asked me if I finished my book so he can read it.
I said yes, it is on a floppy disk.
He was surprised,
On a floppy disk! ?
How am I going to read it?
I had to go to another room and print on of my files.
Then I gave him to read.
He took few pages.
Then I looked at the rest of the papers I printed,
And it was cooking recipes.
I had to go and print again.
The floppy disk got broken..it's kind of broken now.
I had to show this creepy man the metal part of the floppy disk.
He said that he had to test me.
Like I saw one time,
One person sits and puts down hands on the table
And another takes a knife and makes some kind of ..pokes around the first person hands very fast.
You cannot move, only to look straight.
Then after the creepy men nicely tells me I can go.
I go outside, it's warm, summer I think. .
Some one asks me something, I have bag with my notes ..talking to someone. .
Aunt : it helps the most!
Poetess : I have never read the Bible. ..
I know few prayers. .
Why do we have to work for money?
Grandma : this is absolutely unfair..
I was working for fifty five years.
Grandma W: oh.. (she never worked).
Mom: go read the Bible little bit.
Poetess : I think I saw a shadow at work,
Again and again, right next to me, like sparkles.
It was my hair shining on the sides.
Orange color reflects the light.
Poetess : back to my nightmare dream.
It was at day time.
I was in the room with a creepy looking man.
Like not scary looking but weirdly. .
He asked me if I finished my book so he can read it.
I said yes, it is on a floppy disk.
He was surprised,
On a floppy disk! ?
How am I going to read it?
I had to go to another room and print on of my files.
Then I gave him to read.
He took few pages.
Then I looked at the rest of the papers I printed,
And it was cooking recipes.
I had to go and print again.
The floppy disk got broken..it's kind of broken now.
I had to show this creepy man the metal part of the floppy disk.
He said that he had to test me.
Like I saw one time,
One person sits and puts down hands on the table
And another takes a knife and makes some kind of ..pokes around the first person hands very fast.
You cannot move, only to look straight.
Then after the creepy men nicely tells me I can go.
I go outside, it's warm, summer I think. .
Some one asks me something, I have bag with my notes ..talking to someone. .
Voice : anyway, back to the nightmare story,
Some icing on my cake.
Grandma W: what are we smoking here?
Nothing! It's strictly prohibited!
Poetess : I was hypnotized.
Grandma : we only eat too much,
Otherwise we are pretty much healthy.
(Everyone is knocking the table).
Voice : stay healthy and eat healthy, exercise daily.
Grandma W: our beloved genius..
Grandpa : something sounds suspicious again.
Going to look for my passport and ID,
Hate running around at the middle of the night.
Friend: vodka ladies?
Ladies : it's 9 o'clock in the morning?
Friend : don't worry today we will swim in it for our new commercial...
Some icing on my cake.
Grandma W: what are we smoking here?
Nothing! It's strictly prohibited!
Poetess : I was hypnotized.
Grandma : we only eat too much,
Otherwise we are pretty much healthy.
(Everyone is knocking the table).
Voice : stay healthy and eat healthy, exercise daily.
Grandma W: our beloved genius..
Grandpa : something sounds suspicious again.
Going to look for my passport and ID,
Hate running around at the middle of the night.
Friend: vodka ladies?
Ladies : it's 9 o'clock in the morning?
Friend : don't worry today we will swim in it for our new commercial...
Poetess : so last night I went to casino.
And I list 80 dollars.
Voice: remember 100 dollars is a limit.
Aunt : this what was the nightmare about?
Let me see..
If you have nightmare about loosing in casino then don't go to casino.
Grandma W.: very smart, I wonder who wrote it.
Poetess : are you sure I can write all of this?
No one all say that in freedom country I can only write freely "good day"?
Voice : are you asking yourself or you are asking me,
First time in your life.
Grandma W : it's a reason to celebrate.
Go buy something nice for you.
Aunt : she buys something nice for herself every day.
Voice : being selfish is one of the keys.
In case if want to know my opinion.
I always been overlooked, over talked, overshadowed.
Grandma W : poor baby.
The real W: if I explode, it will be now.
You should change your hair color on darker.
This orange and green kook suspicious.,
But not yourself, in the salon
Grandma : I thought something was with my computer.
And I list 80 dollars.
Voice: remember 100 dollars is a limit.
Aunt : this what was the nightmare about?
Let me see..
If you have nightmare about loosing in casino then don't go to casino.
Grandma W.: very smart, I wonder who wrote it.
Poetess : are you sure I can write all of this?
No one all say that in freedom country I can only write freely "good day"?
Voice : are you asking yourself or you are asking me,
First time in your life.
Grandma W : it's a reason to celebrate.
Go buy something nice for you.
Aunt : she buys something nice for herself every day.
Voice : being selfish is one of the keys.
In case if want to know my opinion.
I always been overlooked, over talked, overshadowed.
Grandma W : poor baby.
The real W: if I explode, it will be now.
You should change your hair color on darker.
This orange and green kook suspicious.,
But not yourself, in the salon
Grandma : I thought something was with my computer.
Poetess : everyone is writing about the rabbit hole,
Why can't be me?
Grandma : you can't just go there,
You have to be immune.
Voice: spying again ladies?
My advice, cut youtube off.
It's not good for me,
It's not good for you.
One hour every night?!
My advice, do something else at night,
More useful, more productive..
Few quotation marks.
Either way, have to b..l..e..s..s..
Now, go to work 9 to 5.
See, now you have something all day to do.
Poetess : last night I had a nightmare.
Grandma : very interesting. .
Aunt : I will take my dream dictionary. .
Grandma W: I have a question about night?
When I was giving my master class. .
Aunt : sometimes I give massages at night.
This is my business card, this is my 24x7 business. .
Why can't be me?
Grandma : you can't just go there,
You have to be immune.
Voice: spying again ladies?
My advice, cut youtube off.
It's not good for me,
It's not good for you.
One hour every night?!
My advice, do something else at night,
More useful, more productive..
Few quotation marks.
Either way, have to b..l..e..s..s..
Now, go to work 9 to 5.
See, now you have something all day to do.
Poetess : last night I had a nightmare.
Grandma : very interesting. .
Aunt : I will take my dream dictionary. .
Grandma W: I have a question about night?
When I was giving my master class. .
Aunt : sometimes I give massages at night.
This is my business card, this is my 24x7 business. .
I was talking to my grandmother today. ..
It was the biggest tank battle in war history,
Six thousand tanks, four thousand military planes and two million solders.
Had to google it,
This what I was doing at work today.
My grandfather was driving one of the tanks.
His tank blew up in the air from an explosion.
A man from the following tank pulled him out from the burning tank.
Every year from what I remember,
They, his friends from this battle, would call each other sometimes at this time,
Or go and travel to see each other..
My grandfather would wear his old jacket with medals, just all sit on the couch,
And talk mostly about their gardens..
Like this for almost fifty years. ..
don't know story
The real witch :
what is my name?
Is he asking me what is my name?
Poetess : I am sure he is asking someone else.
The real witch : and who?
I would like to know myself.
Poetess ( to Prince ) : throw some money at her,
She will like it.
The real witch : he better have an idea,
We are on a romantic date here.
Poetess : I am happy!
I had a dream about Donald Trump becoming next President.
Inner voice : what about Hilary,
Aren't you women supposed to support each other.
The real witch : what are you feeding him?
He has this weird ideas that people are friends,
and people and animals are friends.
I am not going to be friend with a shark.
Inner voice : we have to realize we are all have to love and respect each other.
Personally I think I would love only beautiful women. .
We have to trust and appreciate each other.
(Checking door with five locks).
Inner voice : where are my beauties!
Three giant German Sheppards are wagging tails.
Inner voice : did you drink milk before going to bed?
The dogs lie down near the door.
Inner voice : time to meditate.
I am calm, I am very calm, I am calm like never before
(Repeats five hundred times ).
The dogs are barking.
Inner voice : if my puppies will bark one more time tonight,
I am going to buy one more lock, gun and dog...
Poetess : Men are so selfish.
All they want to be surprised in bed and kitchen.
What about being surprised on the road while driving.
No, honking.
May be there is a secret meaning
When a woman sitting at the middle of intersection on red light?
Or signaling right and driving straight?
I almost left the car and key.
Here, you metal hat.
Inner voice : thank you, is it double protection?
Poetess : I am beginning on my knees about my wish to come true.
Inner voice : if I be dressed would it help.
We all, two, have to help each other.
Is he asking me what is my name?
Poetess : I am sure he is asking someone else.
The real witch : and who?
I would like to know myself.
Poetess ( to Prince ) : throw some money at her,
She will like it.
The real witch : he better have an idea,
We are on a romantic date here.
Poetess : I am happy!
I had a dream about Donald Trump becoming next President.
Inner voice : what about Hilary,
Aren't you women supposed to support each other.
The real witch : what are you feeding him?
He has this weird ideas that people are friends,
and people and animals are friends.
I am not going to be friend with a shark.
Inner voice : we have to realize we are all have to love and respect each other.
Personally I think I would love only beautiful women. .
We have to trust and appreciate each other.
(Checking door with five locks).
Inner voice : where are my beauties!
Three giant German Sheppards are wagging tails.
Inner voice : did you drink milk before going to bed?
The dogs lie down near the door.
Inner voice : time to meditate.
I am calm, I am very calm, I am calm like never before
(Repeats five hundred times ).
The dogs are barking.
Inner voice : if my puppies will bark one more time tonight,
I am going to buy one more lock, gun and dog...
Poetess : Men are so selfish.
All they want to be surprised in bed and kitchen.
What about being surprised on the road while driving.
No, honking.
May be there is a secret meaning
When a woman sitting at the middle of intersection on red light?
Or signaling right and driving straight?
I almost left the car and key.
Here, you metal hat.
Inner voice : thank you, is it double protection?
Poetess : I am beginning on my knees about my wish to come true.
Inner voice : if I be dressed would it help.
We all, two, have to help each other.
Poetess: we should
do things together!
Inner voice (to
himself): everyday is a crisis here...
Poetess (to the
audience): he is only one and only .. and who is present here,
I want to thank for
everything (reading list of everything, 3 seconds)
Some one else
couldn't attend.
Every night I am
personally thanking this amazing person non stop, shaking hand and
hugging.
And I want you to
see his beautiful face.
Audience: he is
naked!
Poetess
(dreamingly): I can't forget the moment when I took this picture.
Inner voice
(dreaming): when did I take this picture?
Poetess: I can show
you movie about us (showing paper).
Poetess (reading
from the paper): what if some one want to make a movie about me?
Inner voice: it
will be easy, ten minutes is good enough to watch at lunch in
museums.
Poetess: what about
the actress?
Inner voice: one
quality.
Poetess
(dreamingly): beautiful..thank you (whispering).
Inner voice: no.
Poetess (dreamingly
with smile): intelligent..
Inner voice: no.
Poetess: there is
nothing else!
Inner voice: crazy.
Poetess: can at
least a black woman play me?
Inner voice: Welcome to the club!
Poetess (looking around) : it's empty here?
Inner voice : you are the first one.
Poetess is thinking what to say.
Inner voice : you are asking too many questions.
Why didn't you stay in the forest any way?
I am sure, wild bears would love you.
Poetess : I wanted to work in the office.
Poetess is lying in the bath tab and watching movie.
Paintings on the wall, ice cream and educational magazines.
She is drinking orange juice.
We will be nice here.
The phone starts to ring.
Poetess : Good day..
Inner voice : why are you not at work?
It's Friday, lady.
Poetess : my back, I mean my butt, my belly..
(To herself ) faking all the time.
Inner voice : wake up already,
We are at work actually.
( Moving cup with change closer to the road).
Poetess : do you like my writing,
How I write?
Inner voice (pretending he is dreaming): what?
Poetess : I was thinking,
Any poets who are living has more chances to write a beautiful story,
Like doing better then great poets who are gone.
So I am doing better than Shakespeare..
Inner voice : What's your real job?
Poetess : I should write it's a fun fiction story,
Because people will think that I am writing my daily experiences here.
Inner voice : It's fake people!
Poetess : Everything is going to be great for people
I love and like.
Inner voice : I am already here.
Poetess : and why are you taking your clothes off?
Inner voice : can't be any closer..
Poetess: I wrote a story!
Inner voice: I am sure middle aged women will be very happy.
Poetess: what middle age?
I am not even sixty.
Inner voice: I hate working too.
Poetess (thinking of where to hide weights at work): what's wrong with it?
Inner voice: being a nice person at my work is a curse.
Poetess: I read in newspaper about some company,
Few employees got poisoned and they sued the company.
The fridge didn't work all weekend, first thing on Monday, bym..
Inner voice: we are not so lucky.
Poetess: I wrote a story (looking at the mirror) about some one else
And I think I need professional advise about where shall I go with it.
Inner voice: I have a friend for that.
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: what's your name boy?
Poetess: boy? Irina.
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: the mostest and importenest thing is grammar
And you have to know what a h..eck you are talking about.
Poetess (writing): the mostest importenest thing..
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: yes, I was surprised myself
When the nurse started to take off my clothes.
Poetess: the nurse?
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: no, the horse was after, or before...
Let me think my beautiful ladies.
Poetess (kind of melting with a smile): thank you...
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: me to, I am thanking only the ambulance.
I was writing a poem about farm,
Special edition Mister Taker had a horse, pig, chickens and pit bulls,
I had to ride all of them myself,
Grandma with stupid questions, she was the last one.
Poetess: you were riding grandma?
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: she said she was single.
We have to trust people.
Mister Taker had something else too, but since the children might read,
We can't talk about any weapons, especially illegal.
It was a poem for the police.
Nice detective, gave me a pillow to sit down,
We were writing for a year..
Poetess: and what happened?
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: Peter? who is Peter?
You?
Poetess : my name is Irina.
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry :
What I was doing in the air?
I was asking this question myself:
What I am doing in the air with a laundry bag?
What am I doing in the air at all.
Five minutes, lovely conversation between birds and myself.
Wind must be changed the direction,
That was the third nurse explanation,
The one with wings didn't explain anything,
Told me to get ... out and start .. working.
And I am working my friends,
Teaching children and adults,
We are writing new story
" Penguin versus Trax, the dinosaur"..
Poetess : let's shake this old dirty bag for some news.
(Shaking the bag): hmm, money!
You know, I save shit every where
And then I don't remember where I saved it.
Inner voice : you know, you have never written me a beautiful love poem.
Poetess : about what?
Inner voice ( loud with questions in the voice) : pardon me?!
Poetess ( suspiciously ): about us?
Inner voice : you wrote about cabbages..
Poetess : it was for my Golden cabbage award.
Inner voice : wrote about fish and chips, one week dinner, wrote about cheesecake.
Poetess : cheesecake?
Inner voice : yeah, the one was on my face.
Poetess (happily): may be we were doing something romantic?!
Inner voice : not with the box.
Poetess (loud): since I paid the price
(showing a bus ticket $3,75),
The Golden cabbage award is better to be mine.
I will be slightly dressed on my ears and
Will read my best poem of the year:
They were f..ing all over the place...all night ..
Inner voice (chokes on a cup of tea): who? us?
Poetess : no! the cats!
I am writing only about reality,
Kiittens are my mom's home business.
don't know story
Poetess : this story is finished.
Grandma : didn't we celebrate it already another day.
Inner voice : congratulations!
This is your "Golden pajamas award".
And don't think of selling it...
Narrator : let's all admit the truth.
The real witch : what are you going to do at work?
Grandma witch : cake anyone?
Everyone : sure.
The Beast : no, thank you, I am okay.
Ze Bella : you don't love me.
Inner voice : work?
Grandma : save us at least from that..
Poetess : if few people from my work get "Golden go to ... award" it's from me.
I am thinking about Botox.
May be will study it today.
Plus I was exercising for a while,
As you can see I don't have to wear a skirt.
Narrator : stay healthy people.
Grandma : such beautiful wisdom.
Grandma : didn't we celebrate it already another day.
Inner voice : congratulations!
This is your "Golden pajamas award".
And don't think of selling it...
Narrator : let's all admit the truth.
The real witch : what are you going to do at work?
Grandma witch : cake anyone?
Everyone : sure.
The Beast : no, thank you, I am okay.
Ze Bella : you don't love me.
Inner voice : work?
Grandma : save us at least from that..
Poetess : if few people from my work get "Golden go to ... award" it's from me.
I am thinking about Botox.
May be will study it today.
Plus I was exercising for a while,
As you can see I don't have to wear a skirt.
Narrator : stay healthy people.
Grandma : such beautiful wisdom.
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