Donald : once again I was falsely accused by Fake News Channel for playing opera in the Parliament.
It was fake, because we didn't sing and dance,
We only took a picture which looks like I am conducting the orchestra.
And I decided to lead the Fake News Corporation individually.
..Send every one to Cuba by the way.
Cameraman : camera on!
Donald (smiling to the camera): Everything is perfect!
Day two.
Donald : where is the Priest?
I can't announce news without the Church.
Unlike some people who are foreign citizens now, I don't need the money,
I want to survive. .
Cameraman : camera on!
Donald (with serious face) : survive economical growth!
I wish everyone the best, just in case.
To the survivor. .
Donald: SOS Copy.
Hilary : what was that? Copy.
Donald : last peace of advice.. Copy.
Hilary : Bill, copy.
Bill (writing): last piece of advice.
Hilary : bomb?!
Donald : got unexpectedly..
Hilary : how can it get here unexpectedly? Copy.
Donald : Melania copy.
Melania (writing): how can it get unexpectedly?
Donald: it flew.
Hilary : from where?
Donald : we were expecting one from West, then instead got one from East, and one feel from the top.
Doctor : what is this Matt,
To be in one of the best news program and deliver news to the world (looking in the newspaper) for 20 million dollars a year?
What kind of news is it?
Donald : this glorious man was 10 cents short on his tax return.
Doctor: ..and then go home and deliver new news to your wife that you cheated and got fired.
What kind of diet is it, food suppliments,
Secret of a bold man?
Personally, after working all day,
I can deliver only one news,
That I am home.
You are too good looking my friend.
Judge : Harvey, where are you Harvey?
We are looking for you in Canada?
Harvey!
No visible signs..
Donald : you should ask Russians,
They find him in no time.
Hilary : we should've taken all his money first.
Now we would know where he is (laughing) .. at home!
Donald (walking around in the sand): after North Korean missile lunch..after North Korean missile lunch ..
Hilary (in the sand) : what happened?!
Donald : after North Korean lunch. .
I am looking for the government ...
Hilary : you are the government!
Donald : not in this situation.
Hilary : but illegal immigrants can get to us and take our jobs.
Donald : how are they going to get here? On boats!? Hilary : they will fly illegally.
Donald : no, they will walk, now the Earth is one pice, one big continent!
Harvey (dreaming all night) : I am sitting with two sexy girls. Sexy girl on the left and sexy girl on the right.
I am loving this sandwich..
(Very next day).
Harvey : doctor, I am having nightmares!
Doctor : focus on obese women today.
(From next door, lady's voice): how long do I have to stare at these old fucks?!
Doctor (looking at the watch): five more minutes.
(across the room men's voice): ... when she looks at me I feel like a tiger is ready to jump, then she smiles with glossy lips and looks in my eyes, she is going to eat me alive..
Doctor : this what messing you up.
You know what it is.
Don't make any sounds in the house and ..
Well, try to learn techniques without looking.
(to Harvey): some people are really disturbed..
Donald : what is this?
This is political humour.
Who writes political humour now days?
People who didn't go to colleges or universities to learn how to write.
Thank you.
Anyway, let's not stress myself over anything not related to my beautiful wife. . work.
(Hilary is giving a look and changes "wife" on "work").
Donald : my schedule for today:
Breakfast..
Lunch..
Dinner. .
Supper..
Glass of milk
Reading a book before going to bed..
Seeing sweet dreams..
Hilary (smiling) : I will vote for you in 2020!
Donald : can you hold this round thing over my head (points at hoola hoop) please while I am taking pictures.
Donald: today I inherited Middle East!
Why did I inherit it? (looking for answer) did I inherit anything else?
It would be funny, telling my voters. (keeps reading)
(to himself) Hopefully we didn't ...touch any lands ...
The world is quiet!
I inherited Middle East after lunch,
And you will not move me from this bedroom?
What was I doing? ... To bring peace in the mess and jobs in US.
Only one continent will be working, it is America,
Every other country will be buying our products.
Melania : very interesting!
This what you do at lunch!?
Dreaming!
Hilary (watching on TV): he should inherit a mummy.
Bill: I wonder how much this inheritance will last.
Hilary : everyone inherits Middle East, what's the news.
Donald : we will trade our weapons, the swards.
And will start from liberals.
