Donald (walking around in the sand): after North Korean missile lunch..after North Korean missile lunch ..
Hilary (in the sand) : what happened?!
Donald : after North Korean lunch. .
I am looking for the government ...
Hilary : you are the government!
Donald : not in this situation.
Hilary : but illegal immigrants can get to us and take our jobs.
Donald : how are they going to get here? On boats!? Hilary : they will fly illegally.
Donald : no, they will walk, now the Earth is one pice, one big continent!
Poems,stories and pictures by Irina Mouravleva.
New Kings. ..
Harvey (dreaming all night) : I am sitting with two sexy girls. Sexy girl on the left and sexy girl on the right.
I am loving this sandwich..
(Very next day).
Harvey : doctor, I am having nightmares!
Doctor : focus on obese women today.
(From next door, lady's voice): how long do I have to stare at these old fucks?!
Doctor (looking at the watch): five more minutes.
(across the room men's voice): ... when she looks at me I feel like a tiger is ready to jump, then she smiles with glossy lips and looks in my eyes, she is going to eat me alive..
Doctor : this what messing you up.
You know what it is.
Don't make any sounds in the house and ..
Well, try to learn techniques without looking.
(to Harvey): some people are really disturbed..
I am loving this sandwich..
(Very next day).
Harvey : doctor, I am having nightmares!
Doctor : focus on obese women today.
(From next door, lady's voice): how long do I have to stare at these old fucks?!
Doctor (looking at the watch): five more minutes.
(across the room men's voice): ... when she looks at me I feel like a tiger is ready to jump, then she smiles with glossy lips and looks in my eyes, she is going to eat me alive..
Doctor : this what messing you up.
You know what it is.
Don't make any sounds in the house and ..
Well, try to learn techniques without looking.
(to Harvey): some people are really disturbed..
New Kings. .
Donald : what is this?
This is political humour.
Who writes political humour now days?
People who didn't go to colleges or universities to learn how to write.
Thank you.
Anyway, let's not stress myself over anything not related to my beautiful wife. . work.
(Hilary is giving a look and changes "wife" on "work").
Donald : my schedule for today:
Breakfast..
Lunch..
Dinner. .
Supper..
Glass of milk
Reading a book before going to bed..
Seeing sweet dreams..
Hilary (smiling) : I will vote for you in 2020!
Donald : can you hold this round thing over my head (points at hoola hoop) please while I am taking pictures.
This is political humour.
Who writes political humour now days?
People who didn't go to colleges or universities to learn how to write.
Thank you.
Anyway, let's not stress myself over anything not related to my beautiful wife. . work.
(Hilary is giving a look and changes "wife" on "work").
Donald : my schedule for today:
Breakfast..
Lunch..
Dinner. .
Supper..
Glass of milk
Reading a book before going to bed..
Seeing sweet dreams..
Hilary (smiling) : I will vote for you in 2020!
Donald : can you hold this round thing over my head (points at hoola hoop) please while I am taking pictures.
New Kings. ..
Donald: today I inherited Middle East!
Why did I inherit it? (looking for answer) did I inherit anything else?
It would be funny, telling my voters. (keeps reading)
(to himself) Hopefully we didn't ...touch any lands ...
The world is quiet!
I inherited Middle East after lunch,
And you will not move me from this bedroom?
What was I doing? ... To bring peace in the mess and jobs in US.
Only one continent will be working, it is America,
Every other country will be buying our products.
Melania : very interesting!
This what you do at lunch!?
Dreaming!
Hilary (watching on TV): he should inherit a mummy.
Bill: I wonder how much this inheritance will last.
Hilary : everyone inherits Middle East, what's the news.
Donald : we will trade our weapons, the swards.
And will start from liberals.
Why did I inherit it? (looking for answer) did I inherit anything else?
It would be funny, telling my voters. (keeps reading)
(to himself) Hopefully we didn't ...touch any lands ...
The world is quiet!
I inherited Middle East after lunch,
And you will not move me from this bedroom?
What was I doing? ... To bring peace in the mess and jobs in US.
Only one continent will be working, it is America,
Every other country will be buying our products.
Melania : very interesting!
This what you do at lunch!?
Dreaming!
Hilary (watching on TV): he should inherit a mummy.
Bill: I wonder how much this inheritance will last.
Hilary : everyone inherits Middle East, what's the news.
Donald : we will trade our weapons, the swards.
And will start from liberals.
New Kings. ..
Donald : Wishing all citizens, man, women, children and senior citizens to be happy and successful
like me and have my job with 1000000 a year salary.
(looking at old woman).
... Madam don't count zeros in my paycheck, count in yours.
This how we (looking at the old woman again) will make America great again.
When we all have one hundred zeroes in our paychecks.
Hilary : every year?
Donald : can never fully educate women. ..
Every day!
Hilary : what kind of job it will be?
Donald : oh ...my dear..
Superhero jobs!
Hilary : I am sure there are some tricks to get this jobs.
Donald : yes.. you have to wear box on your head. With ice.
Hilary : so if you knocked on the steps we all have yo wear boxes with ice and look at the corners?
Donald : this is not even lie.
like me and have my job with 1000000 a year salary.
(looking at old woman).
... Madam don't count zeros in my paycheck, count in yours.
This how we (looking at the old woman again) will make America great again.
When we all have one hundred zeroes in our paychecks.
Hilary : every year?
Donald : can never fully educate women. ..
Every day!
Hilary : what kind of job it will be?
Donald : oh ...my dear..
Superhero jobs!
Hilary : I am sure there are some tricks to get this jobs.
Donald : yes.. you have to wear box on your head. With ice.
Hilary : so if you knocked on the steps we all have yo wear boxes with ice and look at the corners?
Donald : this is not even lie.
I was talking to my grandmother on the phone. .
Remember your name,
Remember your name!
Mother is hugging crying little daughter.
Officer mad, pushing away.
Remember your name,
Remember your name. ..
New Kings. .
Hilary (vacuums carpet and dumps water from inside of the vacuum into the kitchen sink): Honey, dinner is ready!
Donald : I will skip the dishes..
I will eat from this frying pan with my hands!
Hilary : some one stole my idea..
Donald : I drink from the juice box too.
Hilary : you know Bill never complained.
Donald : where is Bill?
What happened to this water pipes?
Hilary : oh.. the neighbour was smoking.
He wasn't allowed at home, so he used to stop by here.
Donald : and where is the neighbour?
Hilary : probably on the moon by now.
Donald (reading sign on the door): "welcome to the door".
Hilary : for my dog.
Donald : I like this honk.
Hilary (happy): really!
This is my system to escape.
(slow) The chair is the ... space ... shuttle ... chair
Samsung Galaxy.
Donald : aren't you lucky..
Hilary : no honking.
Donald : I will skip the dishes..
I will eat from this frying pan with my hands!
Hilary : some one stole my idea..
Donald : I drink from the juice box too.
Hilary : you know Bill never complained.
Donald : where is Bill?
What happened to this water pipes?
Hilary : oh.. the neighbour was smoking.
He wasn't allowed at home, so he used to stop by here.
Donald : and where is the neighbour?
Hilary : probably on the moon by now.
Donald (reading sign on the door): "welcome to the door".
Hilary : for my dog.
Donald : I like this honk.
Hilary (happy): really!
This is my system to escape.
(slow) The chair is the ... space ... shuttle ... chair
Samsung Galaxy.
Donald : aren't you lucky..
Hilary : no honking.
New Kings. ..
"In the news room".
Journalist (looking at the new page) : I don't see any humour here,
I see only pornography.
Now we have to call ladies all over the world.
Unfortunately, some people don't know how to write.
They only know how to do things..
Hilary: is that your business?
Journalist : everything in newspapers is my business!
Hilary : you are the one writing it.
Journalist: this what I am getting paid for, 60 bucks per hour.
(writing).. besides having the same package called
" high cholesterol". ..
Hilary : when people decide to beat up some journalists, call me (deleting email).
Journalist: I personally love only one woman.
(screaming) Help me!
TV host: And back to the newsroom.
Astrological prognosis from Mr. President for 2018 economy in ten minutes, stay tuned.
Producer : no more French kisses or French love either in our day time show.
Only American style, after lots of food, no burping on the side gentlemen.
Ladies (pushing group of women out of the door), you have to go now, see you in my dreams.
Multiple women can be a case of multiple sclerosis.
Hilary : what about multiple men for women?
What.. I am interested as a daily reader.
Doctor: this is healthy.
Donald (in the news room) : according to Mars, planet of strict dominant commitment and Uranus, planet with water,
Mostly we will be focusing on liquids, such as natural gas and oil.
TV host (continues) : first person who will jump up on the floor and give us a call will be predicting future of our economy for next week.
Donald : on coffee.. now back to work people.
Journalist : it's been a pleasure.
Journalist (looking at the new page) : I don't see any humour here,
I see only pornography.
Now we have to call ladies all over the world.
Unfortunately, some people don't know how to write.
They only know how to do things..
Hilary: is that your business?
Journalist : everything in newspapers is my business!
Hilary : you are the one writing it.
Journalist: this what I am getting paid for, 60 bucks per hour.
(writing).. besides having the same package called
" high cholesterol". ..
Hilary : when people decide to beat up some journalists, call me (deleting email).
Journalist: I personally love only one woman.
(screaming) Help me!
TV host: And back to the newsroom.
Astrological prognosis from Mr. President for 2018 economy in ten minutes, stay tuned.
Producer : no more French kisses or French love either in our day time show.
Only American style, after lots of food, no burping on the side gentlemen.
Ladies (pushing group of women out of the door), you have to go now, see you in my dreams.
Multiple women can be a case of multiple sclerosis.
Hilary : what about multiple men for women?
What.. I am interested as a daily reader.
Doctor: this is healthy.
Donald (in the news room) : according to Mars, planet of strict dominant commitment and Uranus, planet with water,
Mostly we will be focusing on liquids, such as natural gas and oil.
TV host (continues) : first person who will jump up on the floor and give us a call will be predicting future of our economy for next week.
Donald : on coffee.. now back to work people.
Journalist : it's been a pleasure.
New Kings. ..
On the set of a new movie " Dreamers".
Hilary (wakes up; big round clock shows 9 am): and where is my housekeeper?
Donald (teasingly): I am here!
(Hilary is starting at Donald with very surprised look).
Donald : hi baby, do you have the high picks?
Make sure the paperwork is done too,
I will check after my lunch.
(Hilary screams).
Donald (covering the ears) : who else on earth is screaming at 9 o'clock in the morning?
Time to go to work, my love!
I'll be missing you, speaking about dreamers...
Hilary : what is this? (looking around).
Donald : your home.
Hilary : and who are you?
Donald : who do you think I am, your beloved husband.
Hilary : our President!
Donald : I am all here.. in one piece baby.
Now, get up and go make breakfast for me and the kids.
(Hilary is wiping her eyes).
Donald (thinking) : I should change number 13 on the door.
Hilary (finally wakes up) : oh my God!
Donald : I told you not to dream too much last night.
Hilary : I wasn't dreaming.
Donald : you all say that (getting closer).
Hilary : I think I was dreaming about opening the new zoo.
Donald : we all were dreaming after waiting for ten hours.
I was side by side with the First Lady.
The rest we pretty much know..
Hilary (wakes up; big round clock shows 9 am): and where is my housekeeper?
Donald (teasingly): I am here!
(Hilary is starting at Donald with very surprised look).
Donald : hi baby, do you have the high picks?
Make sure the paperwork is done too,
I will check after my lunch.
(Hilary screams).
Donald (covering the ears) : who else on earth is screaming at 9 o'clock in the morning?
Time to go to work, my love!
I'll be missing you, speaking about dreamers...
Hilary : what is this? (looking around).
Donald : your home.
Hilary : and who are you?
Donald : who do you think I am, your beloved husband.
Hilary : our President!
Donald : I am all here.. in one piece baby.
Now, get up and go make breakfast for me and the kids.
(Hilary is wiping her eyes).
Donald (thinking) : I should change number 13 on the door.
Hilary (finally wakes up) : oh my God!
Donald : I told you not to dream too much last night.
Hilary : I wasn't dreaming.
Donald : you all say that (getting closer).
Hilary : I think I was dreaming about opening the new zoo.
Donald : we all were dreaming after waiting for ten hours.
I was side by side with the First Lady.
The rest we pretty much know..
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