We talked a lot, it was not about something specific, it was about everything together, pictures, some stories, some history. Someone else wrote me, and it was a woman, she was exited too. I was trying to be better, may be impress more.
I had problems at work, it was work related huge jealousy from a man, higher position than me. I didn't expect it from a man and was long time upset. Especially with small child. Then, this why I realized, I was talking to people worshipping the dark side, their strong energy. I was able to wake up all my great ancestors, for the moral support. And woke up, think Lucifer. He told his name in different languages and suggested, why not to do something else at work or seek legal advice. And somehow, I was quickly reminded many other things. The man, who was my issue, it was basically his word against mine, started to get busy with other stuff, so when I looked at him, I would only have sympathetic look and laugh to myself a little. And think it was wrong to laugh.
Then I started writing every day.The first was Egypt. I had few books, long time ago and was reading it almost all the time. Someone brought big colorful book about Egyptian priests. People who brought the book and me, we both were looking at the colorful pictures as it was a fashion magazine. "You were priestess too", - it's written right here. It was some horoscope and it the numbers, looked like it was me. And I believed it at that time. I was learning special cooking, something else, picking flowers and making secret treasures with glass and flowers together with my friends.
Next think, I was reading about the dark side. I already figured out who I am talking to. It opened my white side and started to interact with it. I could feel what white magician feels. After the spiritual cleaning I had at about 13 years old, I am considered as a white magician by the higher powers. They suppose to tell things and the dark side powers have to tell things too. Without war, global crisis and love the world have not seen before, black and white magicians are not allowed to interact with each other. The powers, first, people, tell magician not to do it. It was weird feeling. I started to read about it, and we were were talking about my family, the war, my grandmothers. Story of the war was brought up, in some way, I related to it myself. It made some kind of peace with the black and white powers. May be, they let me to use both sides, for that kind of entertainment. At first, it was difficult, because I couldn't even to read a little about it, it was so creepy and I was thinking, why am I reading it. Later on, it was really settling, it felt right, because, and later on, I really knew, you need both sides, to be happy.
After a while, of reading, thinking, I have found peace with the dark side. For a while, I was feeling guilty even thinking about it. I've met few people, and with few, I had an issue because we were pointing fingers at each other, using colors before anything else. Then they told me, I heard too, that Lucifer suggested stop bothering each other. And powers on my side were not against it either. It all settled, we became happy, from far, because we still had to follow law, we became happy as people.
The big thing we were talking, the big thing, was my childhood. About the stories I had heard. And I started to rethinking them again. A few stories were even magicial. I was early n school, some one gave me two books about old folk stories.
"Do you want to see one of the stories?- person who bought it, asked me. I replied: "How?", really believing it. We went to a house, and then a cat ran near me, dark cat. In my mind, I started to follow it, I saw the cat jumping on white boxes and also, heard people talking about something makes sense, something doesn't and I have to study well and dress nice. And we didn't go to thr house. That story had interest, the details. And I was telling more. After, when I turned 13 years old, at summer, I had spiritual cleaning and then.got baptized in the Orthodox Church. My great great grandfather was a Bishop long time ago. Since that, everything stopped, all the folk stories, I couldn't read it, my first best friend left too. I didn't think about that at all. At 16, when I was at home, the phone rang and I didn't want to answer it. The phone was near the mirror. I thought, my grandmother or mother, would ask me to do something, like they always did. Go there, bring this, leave this, take this, go the supermarket and go to my work there will be a package. So I was standing and waiting for the phone to stop ringing. Then I hear the same type of voice, saying: "Answer the phone". It was a woman, asking for my grandmother. She was surprised to hear me, her voice changed a little. My grandmother wasn't hone, the woman said, she would call again. When I told my grandmother, she was very concerned if she would feel something. In few days, the phone rang again, the sane long ring, it wouldn't stop. My grandmother answered the phone. She was listening quietly fir a while, then she ssid:"I can't help you, there's not enough energy". Then was listening, abd again told no, and she would be able to hold something by herself. In less then two weeks, an old woman in old military jacket with medals was standing at our door. "I am the second magician, " - she said. They ralked a lot. They had to have 3 magicians, and I wanted to be the third magician.
I agreed because I wanted to see what it is the ritual, especially one that requires black and white magic. My grandmother didn't want to go, she was very hesitant, at the same time she knew, she couldn't refuse, because it was related to the war. Her mother, my great grandmother, had a friend, they met before 1917, a woman, who went to the war and didn't come back. Once in a while, all her life, my great grandmother would go to the sicret place they agreed to met, and wait. My grandmother agreed.
We got to the very bright, sweet country house, driving far outsideof the city. It was early morning, fresh, bright and sunny. The windows were open and the fresh air was filling the room.
My grandmother stood on her knees in the living room, close to the window and facing the wall. She started to speak Latin language, the same tone and soon I started to feel like I am falling a sleep. She was speaking more, more and more. It stared to feel like American ride, going up and down. The white stars sparkles were everywhere. And when I was feeling, I was going down, heavy air flew in my face. I started to hear singing. The black magicians were opening their portals. The air became cold. Something was breathing in my face, sniffing, trying to choke, breathing again and sniffing, shaking. I would see little creatures running in line, bigger ones were spinning and turning. And I freaked out, trying to open my eyes and run out of that house. I couldn't hear anything except what I was feeling.
The dark figure appeared from somewhere far. It was a man, he got closer abd closer. I would see his brown robe. He got close and I looked at his face. He wasn't human, he was a reptilian. His skin was green, in two shades, lighter and darker. Big face, no nose or lips like people, rough green skin. And the eyes, deep and light brown, watery, blinking from left to right with black vertical line. He was looking at me for few minutes. I started to think where I was , that I can't during the ritual, because everything will stop and who knows what else. There are white magicians with me and black magicians something, and everyone is doing the same thing. I calm down. The figure disappeared and I started to hear my grandmother speaking Latin and singing coming from somewhere far.
I went to the war with this woman who all the ritual was for. Not the whole war, some of it. And stayed until black and white lines started to change each other, it was like watching movie on the TV scene. The lines were changing faster and faster. The light started to shine everywhere and I opened my eyes.
When wr went outside, one of the dark magicians walked to us.
I sensed, almost smelled, huge feeling of money, as if I was smelling new paper bills.
The woman was dressed like she was tourist from Spain or Italy, dressex Flamenco dancer too. Dark hair, light skin and red lipstick. She was wearing gloves.
She looked at me and smiled. Her eyes were dark brown, warm and deep. She said thank you and left.
This was the story. Then I started to write sreen play stories.
The interest was still on magic, it was fun.
After all, I started to read the Bible. Biblical stories. characters. And some power kind of brought me out from talking about dark magic and this person.
I knew we will not be able to met without war or global crisis or love the world has not seen which would be doubtful without any meeting. At first, I wanted and in my mind accepted it. There were things that I appreciated. Then, again, I knew, we cannot met. If someone would ask me, I am white magician or black, can I met the opposite, I would say, no, without the reason, you cannot. It's not up to us. I knew what those mistake can do too. It would be wrong. Long time ago, I've seen few dark magicians, the very old. They would wear gloves or not talk to me alone without someone they knew. Then, stoped talking.
Things went slowly down for me. Someone sent me a book, new book about their dark things, one of a kind book probably. I couldn't read it, I could only open one page, read it, and stop and try to read again, and stop. I tried to read at the middle, back, nothing. I couldn't read it.
There were questions, but it was too late, I moved on and stopped any communications.
I started reading Bible again. Stories about Levi came to my mind. I almost forgot everything reply. Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Leah and Miriam. Rahab and Ruth. With my own interpretation.
Then Covid pandemic started. The law changed. I got a message, almost right away. The different way of communication started. I was studying the Old Testament and showing how I was studying.
First, I got message about meeting in the cafe.
It was unusual way, on the television news channel. I understood the address and the time. It was quite café, open, it was the beginning of the pandemic. A woman in grey clothes was sitting at the quiet tanned area, at table near the wall little bit away from windows and the big bright open space. She was wearing grey clothes, shiny almost knitted like patter. She smiled at me. I felt, was the same sense, may be she was that woman who shaked my hand after the long time ritual.
"You didn't follow the steps?- she smiled again.
I shaked my head with "no" answer and smiled back.
She asked me to sit and have something. We were eating and drinking coffee quietly.
She asked me about my grandmother and smiled looking far, at those years.
I wanted to look who she is, inside. Small metal door closed really loudly in my imagination. I couldn't go through her. Then we were watching TV, sitting at the sane table and having more tea, coffee and cookies. We ordered everything. A car stopped near the cafee. The woman stood up, she was close to me. She was very old. Almost ancient. The car honked outside and I looked the this lady and I think I saw a black long tounge divided at the end. May be I was looking at her too much at that moment. She, as if she was trying to laught, touched my shoulder and said that it was nice to meet me.
That what I was thinking about for a while.
Covid pandemic started very hard.
And me and someone else on the different side of the world started to play games. They were giving numbers at certain times and I was giving them story related to what I was studying or doing. Sometimes I was telling the story first.
Every thing became easier and more open.
Covid freed us, freed me, not fully, in the big way though. I looked at few things different, especially related to the money which we thought were roots to..
In my youth we decided to live without the money. Everything went well until we got the the bus to go to the place we would live with own fruits and vegetables.
Now, it was in the messages too, at the beginning, money, you have to save money, not going to be the easy story. At first I was shocked. Then I got happy. We were not alone, there's power beyond us and they protect us. And this was happiness of this knowledge. I met few people. From the dark side. The white, I had seen. The dark side was interesting. It was the first time since 1941 we were able to met and touch each other. Look at each other work and hobbies and life and hide under the mask from everyone else.
The Covid pandemic was crazy. Almost everything was closed. In the morning, the busy road was almost empty. On our street only our workplace was working. And at work, everyone who had any allergies, anything and couldn't wear a mask was forced to quit the job. People tried to go against each other to look good infront of invisible. One popular singer was proud of her son pushing everyone out of his way to get a bag of macaroni in the supermarket, and she posted it online proudly too.
I was practicing connecting to the dark side. It gave me confidence. And I started to understand it and feel it and see it. We were supporting each other all through the more than two years pandemic.
"Life is not only black and not only white ", - experienced white magician told me.
In my childhood we went to few places to have dinner with someone's grandmothers and grandchildren. The grandmothers went to the war together, it united them forever. One was at the big room with green swamp color walls, only thibg was on the wall covered in black cloth. Everything was empty. Big table with food were guests were sitting. Old woman took food from her plate and put on the empty plate at the middle of the table.
"If you want to take, take from me," - she said. Beautiful women were coming to that party. One was blond in white sweater with pearl necklace. She was beautiful, white everything. When I was allowed to color my hair, I did exactly the same, pearl blond hair and knitted white sweater.
In a while, we were sitting outside near fire. I put my finger and touched the fire. My grandmother put her hand far in the fire. Then spo, I cut the same finger at home. And my grandmother cut the same hand.
Now, in some way, me, was making sure, everything is going fine, and someone else was making sure, here, everything is fine too.
We made trough the pandemic. And then, Russia went to Ukraine.
