New Kings..

New King number one: open the Book of budget. 

New King number two: I need glass of wine. 

New King number four: I need something green. 

A lot and very often. 

New King number one: no sharing!

New King number three: we don't need this meeting. 

New King number two: they don't have to be this big.

New King number four: they look like they need some food.

New King number five: I don't see anything. 

New King number one: truth lies in the language. 

New King number three: I see numbers. 

New King number two: challenges facing us.

New King number one: we can see it clear. 

New King number five: I see two accounts. 

New King number one: it can drive people back to us.

New King number two: someone is ripping a page!

New King number one: how much money was on it?

New King number three: we should focus on weather. 

New King number one: are you planning to live wild life?

New King number four: we should focus on full packages and don't touch anything else. 

New King number two: people are just presenting to us they want more money. 

New King number one: you are all in!

New King number three: why don't we write of Book of budget and make it interesting. 

New King number three: because people don't go anywhere now.

New King number two: remember when they go to work every day?

New King number three: I see bunch of joined numbers.

New King number one: since when!

Fools gold.

King of Fools (singing on the phone): he is a smooth operator.

Mama Mia: phone call!

King of Fools (on the phone): essential services. 

Boss of Trolls: if you do another stupid thing, don't call me your brother. 

King of Fools: we did him a favor, we showed him the door!

When our people are stuck here working for ages. 

How far our work can go!?

Boss of Trolls: what are you trying to say?

King of Fools: we think to charge for it by a pound.

I was personally barbecuing on the weekend!

Okay, bye. 

Troll: nice light bulb. 

King of Fools: I know, we were looking for years.

Mama Mia: mister Troll, you are back!

Troll: you look nice.

Mama Mia: I have new fashion addition. 

I bought a belt.

And I exercise in the park after work.

King of Fools: what park are you exercising?

I get a binoculars.

Mama Mia: phone call!

King of Fools: essential services. 

King of Fools is not here, bye.

Mama Mia: phone call. 

King of Fools: essential services. 

Miss witch: he opened his shirt for the picture.

King of Fools: what!

Miss witch: he opened his shirt. 

King of Fools: I thought you said he open his shirts. 

Have a lovely day.

Miss witch: thank you. 

Mama Mia: our government has no idea what they are doing. 

Fool: there's nice Caribbean restaurant near by.

Mama Mia: are they open on Friday. 

Fool: Monday to Friday. 

Mama Mia: its good time to have babies. 

Troll: no kidding. 

Fool (on the phone): we don't complain, this is nonsense.

We don't complain we don't take shit.

King of Fools: busy day.

The Martian story.

Martian: there is a burger in the fridge. 

Martian: you make me nervous. 

Martian: people are trying to destroy this place. 

Martian King: after all our hard work!

Martian: how dare they are to send us a burger.

Martian: basically, they are trying to have a contact. 

Martian King: how many burgers are over there?

Martian: one.

Martian King: no one ate anything?

Martian: looks kind of cute.

Martian King: if you eat it now, I will be serious. 

Martian: we did kind of good with the yogurt. 

Martian: how can you take anything from the people?

Martian: this what I would do,

Send "Mars 2020" back home.

Martian: it never work very well before. 

Martian: people like to be close to us.

Martian: we are very nice.

This what people like.

Martian King: its about what we like!

New Kings..

New King number one: all rich people who have hotel.

Build something on their property. 

New King number two: what do you mean?

New King number one: it was the plan.

New King number four: they are too sensitive.

New King number one: it will take few minutes and bum. 

New King number three: until they have no idea.

New King number one: our goal is to do anything we want.

New King number four: very smart. 

New King number one: let's all say "let's go" known else like "Oh my God".

 

 

The Martian story.

Martian: write, 1 meter is 95 centimeters. 

Martian: we might go under it.

Martian: are you sure?

Martian: its not our job.

We only open doors, at two locations. 

At work and at home.

Msrtian: you think people like our pictures?

Martian: we already built our relationships of trust.

Martian: are you sure?

Martian: this one too, less then thirty years of experience. 

Look, people look up every day and night,  definitely says something. 

Martian: change 95 on 100.

Martian: we can't. 

People will know it's a trick.

Okay, now move the damn thing,  and we will ran away.

The Martian story.

Martian: you took so many pictures,  now it's a mess.

Martian: are you looking for wife or what?

Martian: he has so much money, he put them in the socks.

Martian: what about us, nothing.

Martian King: turn on TV.

Interesting thing, when the water disappeared, only TV kept working. 

Martian: for the last Martians.

Spiritual leader (on TV): oh my God. 

Martian King: yeah. 

Martian mother: are you coming to help?

Martian King: mommy, people don't know what four point nine means!

Martian: they are waiting for paper work. 

Martian: give people a chance.

They are inventing a wheel. 

Martian King: was it two days ago?

Martian: it will take a while. 

Martian: its about color, its green!

Martian King: tell him to wear mask.

Martian: people look weird. 

No Internet today.

Martian King: go outside people, enjoy the weather. 

Martian: I am not digging no rocks today looking for water.

Martian King: it will make our career blow up!

Fools gold.

King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!

Fool: the music doesn't sound too good now.

With this break dance we end up breaking something.

King of Fools: head  office changed the password.

Fool: why?

King of Fools: they are idiots. 

Troll: fat girl Mama Mia. 

Fatie, fatie, fatie.

Mama Mia: the government said, everything will be closed. 

Troll: the government should keep only banks open.

Mama Mia: when nothing is open why do you needs banks for?

Troll: to get checks.

King of Fools (on the phone) : you are hero!

And we are not surprised. 

Mama Mia: phone call!

King of Fools (on the phone): bravo, you went crazy?

That's my girl.

Oink, oink, oink.

Mama Mia (on the phone): clearly the weirdest beginning.

King of Fools (on the phone): essential services. 

Fool (on the phone): I need a room.

King of Fools: for how long?

Fool: near the ocean. 

King of Fools: I think everyone wants room near the ocean. 

Troll (on the phone): if I didn't know who he really is, I would run from this place. 

 

Fools gold.

King of Fools (whispering on the phone): you are amazing anyway my dear.

You drink coffee now and you cannot sleep?

I am a coffee person.

I love mint tea, but I am a coffee person. 

Have myself a good night!?

That's the plan.

Fool: the government said they are going to do good job!

King of Fools: put emergency alerts on.

Troll: may be they will not do anything?

King of Fools: it's one chance in a million. 

Mama Mia (singing): I love you when you call me seniorita, I love you when you call me seniorita.

The Martian story.

Venusian: people said that there's life on  Venus. 

Venusian: I wonder who told them.

Venusian: the Martians!

Venusian: what a stupid civilization. 

Venusian: no wonder they ran out of water.

Venusian: they don't know what's right and what's wrong.

I was watching them last night. 

Venusian: what are they doing?

Venusian: taking pictures for people. 

Here few pictures. 

Venusian: get a damn switch.

Venusian: you do.

Venusian: guys what I want you to do is to be done with Tequila. 

Fools gold.

Monkey "The Genius": yyy.

Troll: what?

King of Fools: eat less!

Fools: eat less.

King of Fools: love vegetables.

Fools: love vegetables. 

Monkey "The Genius": yyy.

King of Fools: very good!

Troll: your monkey put more senses.

King of Fools: we don't want to overcrowd the work place.

Fool: she is our mommy.

Troll: little bit more mature.

Eat less.

King of Fools: how?

The government closed all the gyms.

Troll: I think they were trying to close the supermarkets. 

This what they were trying to do.

What is the problem?

King of Fools: the problem, everyone is trying to argue about food all day. 

Troll: looks like messy job for you.

King of Fools: what time is it?

Mama Mia: lunch time, two o'clock. 

King of Fools: change the time.

Fools gold.

King of Fools (whispering on the phone): sexy baby.

Thank you me amor, thank you. 

Fool (on the phone): we haven't started yet.

When we will get paid, we will do good job.

Twenty bucks!

We will be working all night!

Mama Mia: my lunch.

Troll: a new one?

Mama Mia: mister Troll?

Fool (on the phone): we had six hundred manpower looking at the batteries.

No, didn't do anything else, only looking. 

Very busy actually. 

King of Fools (whispering on the phone): yyy, looking good.

Where are you?

At work?

Same here. (singing) wait for a moment. 

Fool (on the phone): remember,  it says on the door "We are trying. Overwhelmed. And don't worry".

Fool: why there's dust on the printer?

Mister Troll, don't mess up this time.

Two o'clock!

Half problems already. 

Fool (on the phone): this is a purpose we have a desk.

We cannot walk by.

Fool: mister Troll, we are starting from zero.

Fool (on the phone): we don't give a sh.t.

Just let you know.

Like over married couple.

We have a lot of those.

You can come and have a look.

(in a cafe).

Fool: he is going to take me shopping. 

He was spying on me yesterday,  I was working. 

Mama Mia: we will donate coffe for refugees. 

Fool: me and him, we eat more salads and we are okay.

Mama Mia: what's going on!

Fool: note from Monkey "The Genius", sign here ladies that you read.

Mama Mia: five feet social distance from the food!

Fool: she is too much.

Mama Mia: may be to keep everyone healthy.

Fool: we still have to eat.

Mama Mia: we have been waiting for this!

Fools gold.

Fool: we know its you!

Fool: mister Troll, you are not following six feet social distance for the parked vehicle again. 

Troll: it's a car.

You have too many cars.

Fool: really?

Do us a favor and park somewhere else.

Fool: you can park near the back door. 

Troll: wow.

King of Fools (on the phone): are you kidding me!

I am going to slam the computer on my head.

This is our baby days!

We need milk!

Ttoll: Mama Mia,  cake?

Mama Mia (coughing): no.

Fool: we ate twice already.

Troll: she said, bring cake on Monday. 

Fool: sometimes we don't know what we are talking about.

Troll: well,  uno momento Seniora.

Mama Mia: seniorita.

King of Fools: mister Troll, what's wrong with you.

Do you have more of these jokes?

King of Fools (on the phone): how are you?

Saving money too.

Finally she is learning how to dance nice.

Fool (on the phone): my is sitting on the slide like wild hog. 

King of Fools: always work in progress.

Fool: good job.

King of Fools: high Internet prices are to blame.

Fool: I was blaming all the weekend. 

King of Fools (whispering): some of them don't know how to dance at all.

Fool: well, they have to say it.

King of Fools: hm...

Fool: I know, it's not easy.

May be for one bride, but not for all.

King of Fools: I love social distance at home.

Always start earlier. 

Fool: we are still trying. 

King of Fools: we have three boxes of books to read.

Can send you one box.

Fool: one book.

King of Fools: will send you on Friday night.

(whispering) dancing on the table is always easier, just keep moving. 

Troll: if I bring karaoke tomorrow,  who is going to sing?

The Martian story.

Martian: should we tell people about the pictures?

Martian: no, let them believe only in Heavens.

Martian: it's not like we are going to invite here.

Martian: we will have to find another planet, I swear.

Martian: no discrimination please.

Martian: let them wait for our signal. 

It will be caught in five hundred years. 

Martian: why so long?

Martian: nonprofit organization. 

The Martian story.

Martian: people give us everything we don’t want.

Martian: may be they think we have a ring.

Martian: our rocks rough man.

Martian: let’s keep it organized.

Martian: you just have to run with it.

Jump here and hold the brick.

In two seconds.

Keep style.

Martian: we will rush you.

Martian: inspiring.

We versus the world. 

No grampy faces.

Martian: should we open boxes for original surface?

Martian: I thought we did?

We have no clue what to do.

Martian: you keep crow and you hold the "so cold" sign.

This surface is terrible. 

It's like camping over here.

 

Fools gold.

King of Fools (on the phone): if you can’t sleep, call  me.

You will! At 4 am?

I will be in the shower.

Troll: Mama Mia,  what is with your fashion?

Mama Mia: the winter boots?

The government closed everything in four hours, I didn't have time to go shopping.

I don't have underwear either, it’s not essential item.

Fool: you don't have to wear it.

King of Fools (on the phone): three times I said good morning and you didn't answer.

Fool (on the phone): Calvin, Calvin, pandemic!

Troll: who is this?

King of Fools: where I used to work, we had a lot of women in the office, was a lot of fun.

Now we are stuck.

Troll: I am little bit tired.

Fool: what are you doing at night?

Mama Mia (on the phone): we are going crazy.

Phone call!

King of Fools (on the phone): I remember working on it.

Mama Mia (on the phone): like no one gets big, like babies don't drink milk.

King of Fools (on the phone): when I turn twenty five,  you will love me more.

We will legalize it.

Fool (on the phone): work is going? Yeah.

 

 

 

 

 Александр Твардовский

Рассказ танкиста

Был трудный бой. Всё нынче, как спросонку,
И только не могу себе простить:
Из тысяч лиц узнал бы я мальчонку,
А как зовут, забыл его спросить.

Лет десяти-двенадцати. Бедовый,
Из тех, что главарями у детей,
Из тех, что в городишках прифронтовых
Встречают нас как дорогих гостей.

Машину обступают на стоянках,
Таскать им воду вёдрами — не труд,
Приносят мыло с полотенцем к танку
И сливы недозрелые суют…

Шёл бой за улицу. Огонь врага был страшен,
Мы прорывались к площади вперёд.
А он гвоздит — не выглянуть из башен, —
И чёрт его поймёт, откуда бьёт.

Тут угадай-ка, за каким домишкой
Он примостился, — столько всяких дыр,
И вдруг к машине подбежал парнишка:
— Товарищ командир, товарищ командир!

Я знаю, где их пушка. Я разведал…
Я подползал, они вон там, в саду…
— Да где же, где?.. — А дайте я поеду
На танке с вами. Прямо приведу.

Что ж, бой не ждёт. — Влезай сюда, дружище! —
И вот мы катим к месту вчетвером.
Стоит парнишка — мины, пули свищут,
И только рубашонка пузырём.

Подъехали. — Вот здесь. — И с разворота
Заходим в тыл и полный газ даём.
И эту пушку, заодно с расчётом,
Мы вмяли в рыхлый, жирный чернозём.

Я вытер пот. Душила гарь и копоть:
От дома к дому шёл большой пожар.
И, помню, я сказал: — Спасибо, хлопец! —
И руку, как товарищу, пожал…

Был трудный бой. Всё нынче, как спросонку,
И только не могу себе простить:
Из тысяч лиц узнал бы я мальчонку,
Но как зовут, забыл его спросить.

1942 г.

 

Юность случайно с задумчивым взглядом 

Запела вдруг песню о первой любви.

Школьные годы, мамины платья,

Всреча с тобой на школьном дворе.

Март дорогой, шум веселой капели,

Лужи и лужи, дорожки ручьи,

Солнечный день, радость весенняя.

Птицы поют о первой и чистой любви.

Только юность забыла что из платья и фартука,

Пионерского галстука выросла я.

Это даже не он.

Почему же я снова краснею,

Почему вдруг румянец застыл на щеках.

И опять месяц март, шум веселой капели.

The Martian story.

Martian: what a..?

Martian: innovative design.

Martian: turn this way. 

Martian: people are always like this,

They don't know what it is, send it to Mars. 

Fools gold.

King of Fools (whispering on the phone): I turned twenty today.

What does it mean?!

We don't have to use umbrella.

Mama Mia: this is graggly pit. 

Fool: should buy new clothes on the weekend.

Mama Mia: and we are not getting any smaller. 

Troll: where is major?

Where is the piggy aster?

King of Fools: you?

For a second I was thinking you were talking about me.

Troll: the washrooms are closed again.

King of Fools: we can't keep up cleaning it.

Take a nap.

Mama Mia: phone call.

King of Fools: essential services!

Lets count one by one.

Yes, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes.

Its no, bye. 

Fool: Boss of Trolls called.

King of Fools: he always calls after five o'clock when no one is here.

Leave a message: we do it tomorrow, when we find how it works,

Tequila is the best, this what we went to university for, its a mess, that kind of area. 

Fool: 5 o'clock.

King of Fools: what are we doing here!

Tame to have party at home. 

The Martian story.

Martian: leave it here.

Martian: I don't think people use our pictures. 

Martian: this what Martian King says.

Msrtian: are you sure it doesn't take fifty years to download it?

Martian: I remember how we used to work. 

Send one picture and wait for reaction. 

Martian: we need pictures that take orders.

Martian: do you know how much it cost?

Martian: people will spend all the money now to show they don't have anything. 

Martian: make sure its the right address.