The Martian story

Martian: good morning!
Martian: good morning young lady!
Martian: remember eat over the ball,
Its what's there for.
Martian: tequila weekend is coming. 
Martian: its better then tylenol.
Martian: are you going to put the camera back?
Martian: I've been doing it before you were born.
Sweet 160, sweet 160.
Martian: are you wearing your glasses?
Martian: you argue too much.
Martian King: they are mixed.
Someone had a lot of free time at work!
Martian: it was birthday at work!
Martian King: go follow people.
Whiskey... yam, yam.
In stead of "work to do" they picked "stress to do".
Venetian: ops.
I've never liked humans. 
Martian King: oh Lord.
Our hands are full.
Venetian: it's kind of funny.
Martian King: wait when it happens to your planet. 
Venetian: we don't have this kind of technology. 
Martian King: we have 9 astronauts expecting. 
I am one of them.
What time, I don't know. 
No one wanted to open the door. 
(singing) had a farm, 
Ee i  ee i o, ee i ee o.



Pharaoh

Stranger: how far are you going?
New King number one: yes.
Stranger: you are going the right way!
New King number one: this trip costs us a lot of money. 
Never mind.
Servant 1: where is the timer?
Servant 2: especially when we have the time on.
Servant 1: we will get paid by the mile.
Pharaoh: for what?
Servant 1: when we are working. 
Pharaoh: why the pyramid looks squared?
Servant 1: its shy.
Pharaoh: its supposed to look like triangle.
Servant 2: we don't know what it is.


Fools gold

Troll: I got letter from your zoo,
No one cares.
Fool: oh yeah. 
Mama Mia: we know.
King of Fools: what difference does it make?
It's not a big joy, its sealed rules.
Mama Mia: mister Troll, you have to get married to feel lucky.
King of Fools: you should know it already.
Fool: you should outsmart the sharks.
King of Fools: do it on Monday. 
Miss witch: mister Troll, this is for you.
Troll: what is this?
"Witch"?
Miss witch: we saved one blank for you.
King of Fools: good. 
Time to wake up.
Troll: perfect,  now I need some medication. 
Miss witch: we have "love potion".
King of Fools: we all need it.
We work in hot spot.
Miss witch: our business on the side.
(singing) you show me, I show you.
King of Fools: mister Troll, now you can go safely for lunch.
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
He called you old woman!
Chika Bonita!
Olympia!
He meant "cold woman".
I've been called little boy myself.
We can't change the world. 
It's a compliment. 


Pharaoh

Pharaoh: my servants do something, it takes 5 minutes.
His servants do something, it takes 5 hours. 
Servant 1: we had no idea.
Servant 2: I like our Pharaoh. 
Pharaoh: woman has to clean house. 
This what I am looking for.
Servant 1: New Queen number one says it's a lot.
Servant 2: you cannot trust women if they ate not 35 years old.
I prove it all the time. 
Now I am looking at 50.
Piggy: they sent the check to the wrong address!?
Pharaoh: I will be sleeping the whole day. 
Continue with your work.
Servant 1: okay.
Servant 2: will keep working. 
Pharaoh: work to the moon.
Early moon.
Servant 2: what should we write on the invoices?
Servant 1: exactly what Pharaoh said: fir work to the moon and early moon.
Servant 2: Pharaoh, put sunglasses on, it's too bright here.
The brooms are overthere.
All you have to say "uno momento".
New King number one: where is Pharaoh?
Servant 1: he needed a break. 
New King number one: Pharaoh is not here today!?



Fools gold

King of Fools: nice sky. 
Troll: looks like fire was overthere.
King of Fools: I would've be my work.
Awoo, awoo, awoo..
Troll: "baloo" means brother.
King of Fools: "awoo" means brother?
Troll: "baloo".
King of Fools: Bonita doesn't like me in black leather.
Do you like me in black leather?
Troll: she is smiling.
King of Fools: no she is asking, 
What she is still doing at work after 5 o'clock. 
We have to do what she does.
Our lucky pigs are perfect. 





Fools gold

King of Fools: do you know what went wrong with covid?
Troll: no idea.
King of Fools: they should've close the borders like my mother should've close her  bedroom door.
But she was "oh, no, no, no".
And I know why.
We are the same "yyy...".
Troll: Mama Mia,  how much is the goverment bonus you didn't get?
Mama Mia: fifty dollars. 
Troll: for one hundred, let's do some work.
You are going to be crazy here tomorrow. 
Mama Mia: it's okay.
We have plenty of over time.
Mister Troll, bonus is bonus. 
You want to get it from who you want to get, not from anyone.
King of Fools (singing): oh mama,
I made up my mind,
Let me try now!
Troll: what is this?
King of Fools: from my new album "On the floor".
Troll: very annoying. 
King of Fools: that's the right word. 
Our writers magazine "Another one" loves it.
Troll: okay, sing or it's a story?
King of Fools (singing): what is this?
Our fridge door.
Too much food!
Do what you can, we have five hours. 
Saturday night!
Troll: what's next?
King of Fools: next is my lunch.
(singing) he is walking like this,
And she is walking like that.
What's going on?
Nothing!?
Do you understand the logic?
Ttoll: no.
King of Fools (singing): she is so lazy.
What do you suggest Mister Troll?
Troll: sing for her everything again. 


Fools gold

King of Fools: now we have lacurious government. 
I like them, but go fugure.
Mama Mia: call 909, our mental facility is working full time now.
Troll: where are our snacks?
King of Fools: our hero is not at work today.
Troll: monkeys?
King of Fools: one of them.
Mama Mia: they are busy.
Mister Troll, we can send you copy of the pictures.
King of Fools: we tried to follow their rules, but when we see the pictures, we are freaking out.
This why we are where we are,
Sitting here for days,  working. 
Troll: from now on, eat more vegetables. 
King of Fools: exactly.
I am going for lunch now.
Enough is enough.
Troll: you have to eat 30 vegetables a day, before you enter the building.
King of Fools: we love changes!
Mama Mia: I will make teas.
Troll: and no sleeping at work. 
King of Fools: we can bring something else to do.


The Martian story

Martian: shall we call people "aliens" too?
Martian: we shall.
Martian: they never can take a good quality picture. 
Martian: if we are called "aliens", people are "aliens" to us.
New King number one (listening): who is singing on the video?
Servant 1: the aliens. 
New Queen number one: it makes so much senses. 
New King number one: what are they saying?
New Queen number one: they are saying you can sleep outside of the bedroom now.
Servant 1: who else can sleep these days.
No one, exactly. 
New King number one: was this video even for sale?

Pharaoh

Pharaoh (singing): building, writing, stamping, building, writing, stamping. 
Have a drink now.
What took 4 minutes three thousand years ago now takes 4 hours. 
New King number one: people complain a lot these days.
We need ten more servants. 
Pharaoh: but they will be squished!
New King number one: and bigger rooms.

Fools gold

King of Fools (whispering on the phone): nothing sweet like you honey.
I was here yesterday too.
Do you want to have dinner too or just have a drink?
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools: don't tell me.
Troll: are we short on stuff?
King of Fools: you know how its called..?
"Baking in the oven".
Mister Troll, practice, practice. 
Show us how to do it.
Is she hipper?
We don't know how to work hard.
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
Have you heard of the pandemic?
The government said we can do whatever we want!
Yes, they sent a note in the big print.
Mama Mia: no one knows what the government says.
King of Fools: Mama Mia, send a note to everyone in big print too.
Troll: I thought are working now.
King of Fools: mister Troll, you have to go back to school. 
We are the last people the government says anything!
Work! And they worked so hard on it!
Mama Mia: bravo!




Pharaoh

Pharaoh: this building has number one on it!
This is lacurious house.
New Queen number one: I don't think this way is faster. 
New King number one: you will see.
New Queen number one: now we are going to McDonald's.
Pharaoh: I remember, we were brushing my golden sculpture. 
New King number one: do you still have more?
Servant 1: good luck with finding it.
Servant 2: may be we still have a chance. 
Pharaoh: the God went where it supposed to go.
New King number one: it's not here?
Pharaoh: I put something on top of it.
New Queen number one: oh Pharaoh!
Pharaoh: it feels like yesterday!
New Queen number one: I've been spinning for the half of the day.
Pharaoh: we can wait.
New King number one: it's not a lot.
You might have a nap.
New Queen number one: I don't want.
New King number one (quietly): we have to finish with finding the treasures!
Who knows, who else will look dreamingly at the sky.
New Queen number one: get a job.
New King number one: who, me?
I am working as long as someone is concerned. 
New Queen number one: you gained weight. 
New King number one: it's the service. 
New Queen number one: okay. 
New King number one: I don't know how Pharaoh. 
She is mixed.
Pharaoh: what is that?
New King number one: they are hard.



Pharaoh

Servant 1: too heavy, put it back.
Pharaoh: stones are heavy.
Servant 2: what do you want to say?
Pharaoh: we have to stay until the building is built.
New King number one: we had no idea!
Servant 2: its already huge.
Pharaoh: build until we actually can see it.
Servant 1: oh man.
Pharaoh: you always think about man.
Servant 1: I can tell you why.
Servant 2: if we don't see, why we have to do it?
New King number one: this why I looked dreamingly at the sky, Pharaohs, ancient days.
Pharaoh: do you know, one side, one side is part of the problem.
Servant: we need a break. 
New King number one: where is the madame?
Servant 1: she is appreciating comments. 

 У каждого в жизни бывает минута,

Когда почему-то так тянет назад,
И в эту минуту запретного круга
Я в книжке английской увидела вас.
Простых русских женщин,
Военное время...
В колхозах, землянках, окопах, снегах.
С заплатами платьях, военных шинелях,
Морщинках на лицах,
Но светом надежды в усталых глазах.

С улыбкой, насмешкой
В глаза мне взглянули:
Ну что ты ревёшь-то
Ведь нету войны!
Ну вот, наконец,
Вот истинно горе –
Не любит мужик!
А ну улыбнись 
А ну не печалься
По вольной дорожке
Пройдись походи.
Совет наш простой:
Мечтай и люби,
Работай старайся.
Да радуйся только
Живёшь без войны.

Everyone has a minute in their life,

When for some reason the past want to pull back,
And in this moment of the forbidden circle,
I saw them in English book.
Simple Russian women,
War time...
In farms, dugouts, trenches, snow.
With patches on dresses, military coats,
The wrinkles on the faces
But with the light of hope in tired eyes.

With a smile, joke,
They looked into my eyes:
Well, what are you crying about?
There is no war!
At least, finally,  we know
Here is truly grief -
The man does not love you.
Well smile,
Well, don't be sad
On a free path
Take a walk.
Our advice is simple:
Dream and love,
Work hard.
Just be happy you live without war.

Эта ночь не украдена,

Посмотри мне в глаза.

Сколько было оставлено в тех далеких краях.

Их судьба недопетая, ненапрасны пути,

За рассветами светлыми детям нашим идти.

Слушать песни веселые,

Мудрость в книгах узнать,

И далекую родину так как мы вспоминать.

Где отцы наши правили, где в походах прошли.

Наши славные женщины, их слова долгожданные и улыбки желанные, это солнца лучи.

За стоявших на площади,

Снова вижу я ночи те.

Мою маму нестрогую, ее кофточку новую.

Эта ночь не украдена.


This night is not stolen,
Look into my eyes.
How many we left in those distant lands.
Their fate is a song that was not finished, their roads are not forgotten. 
Our children will walk to the bright morning sunshine, 
Listen to the funny songs,
Learn wisdom in books,
And know distant homeland as we remember.
Where our fathers ruled, where they went on campaigns.
Our glorious women, their long-awaited words and welcome smiles, these are the rays of the sun.
For those who stood on the square.
Again I see those nights.
My mom was not strict,
She was wearing her new blouse.
This night is not stolen.



Fools gold

King of Fools (whispering on the phone): if you are looking for me, I am here.
You think I was sleeping?
I woke up at seven.
Mama Mia (on the phone): we told monkey "The Genius" to work for the whole day and she said "no, no, no!"
Fool (on the phone): she is cute pie.
Mama Mia (on the phone): and you know what else she said?
She said "stupid, never".
Fool (on the phone): let me write it down. 
Troll: how big monkey tells you what to do?
Mama Mia: I guess, she knows how.
And we do what she says.
King of Fools: monkeys are stronger. 
Troll: let's do some work!
King of Fools: I am already on it!
Mama Mia: Mister Troll has this idea every day from the morning.
King of Fools: people call it democracy. 
Mama Mia (laughin): ha.
Troll: I am not surprised. 
What are we going to do about the work we have to do?
King of Fools: give us a second.
Are we going to jump on it or put it away?
Mama Mia: not me.
King of Fools: mister Troll, you can clear some work so actually we can see.
Troll: wow.
Mama Mia: mister Troll, don't worry. 
We will do everything how we say.
King of Fools: it says "go home".
After lunch it will be easier. 
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
(to Troll) she found herself happy!
(on the phone) oh, a bear?
The nice one!?
Troll: we are next.
King of Fools (on the phone) I always say this.
He couldn't hear anything.
And you are running home?
"M, m, m" it's a song.
And now he is laughing "ha, ha, ha".
It's not a joke?
He doesn't know what he is laughing about. 
Yes, give him few seconds, understand and something else. 
After that, write him over.
Something different!
Use your phone for conversations. 
Good night. 
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!

 



Martian story

Martian: I heard he is that tall and they love each other. 
Martian: is he single?
Martian: he went to Venus. 
Martian: what happens on Venus stays on Venus. 
Martian: it happened to me, this why I am so late for another meeting. 
Martian King: news from Earth!
Martian: every one came earlier except him.
Martian: he is Msrtian King. 
Martian: for a second I forgot. 
Martian King: now we have to find the television, find.
And see what's going on, to know what to do.
Martian: we are okay with the radio.
Martian: what did he say, yes or no.
Martian: this is very difficult question.
Martian: this why we still don't have water.

Pharaoh

Servant 1: Pharaoh looks like he had enough. 

New King number one: that’s good.

Servant 2: what is this? 

Wood?

Servant 1: fire place.

New King number one: probably it was dropped out from the sky. 

Servant 2: the carriage is here. 

New Queen number one: when I ride carriage someone has to hold it.

New King number one: yes, it calls yourself. 

New Queen number one: this what they drove, carriage?

New King number one: you think it was called taxi?


Pharaoh

Pharaoh: is she Egyptian?

New King number one: yeah.

Next time I will ask for ID.

Pharaoh: demonstration?

New King number one: she is Egyptian by the clock.

Like we all are.

At 7 o'clock.

Egyptian mommy, mother.

You will hardly have any dinner warm up.

Pharaoh: I never knew that!

New King number one: some one else has to learn it first.



Pharaoh

Servant 1: his name is Ramses.
The librarian, he knows everybody.
New King number one: are you sure he is telling the truth?
Librarian: let me call it "asking us questions".
Only books will tell.
We have twenty seven thousand.
New King number one: I will bring the servants. 
Librarian: every one will read one, two, thre, four books.
New King number one: see it like volunteering. 
Librarian: I call it "if volunteers don't say anything ".
How many Pharaohs do you have?
New King number one: one of them.
Servant 1: let's try reading. 
Librarian: we will call you "students".
New King number one: tell New Queen number one to come here with blankets.
We will show what to do.
Librarian: for "learning".
New King number one: we might as well.
Put more books in the corridor.
Librarian: don't work too hard.
New Queen number one: Ramses?
New King number one: anyway, put the dress on.
New Queen number one: its for summer!
New King number one: this is only a job.
Librarian: do you know how to use the locks?
New King number one: yes.
Librarian: how?
The idea of this key is to use it when you loose this key.


Pharaoh

Pharaoh: who is this?

Servant1: our military commander.

Servant 2: he is good, but we don’t know what he says.

Servant 1: he comes here for lunch.

We painted the kitchen door in white color, 

So he will not go to another door.

Servant 2: we can see better here.

Pharaoh: nice car.

Servant 1: it’s a tank.

Do you know how much this thing cost?

Servant: but we have necessary food. 

This why we think we are better then them.

Servant 2: they are rich.

Some people work for rich.

Servant 1: we are ready and they are not.

Pharaoh: I think I remember my name.

Servant 1: what is this?


 

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