Once upon a time far far away. ..
Good job, you two lie down here ..
There was a young beautiful women. .
Inner voice : are you sure?
Poetess : Shh, they will forget everything in the morning.
(Baby and two dogs are sleeping).
In the morning.
Poetess : the story was a huge success.
Parts of it were written in bathrooms all over the city.
We are for healthy humor, right?
Okay, let's go.
(Leaves outside with a dog).
Poetess : we take onion, garlic, sour cream, mix together and boil, mix again and leave on the face for a week..
Inner voice : I am going for a walk to another country.
Poetess : ops, wrong story.
(looking on napkins and wipes)
Poetess : today, today, today!
Inner voice: Will be back in ten hours,
Hopefully she will finish this "don't know story".
And will go back to her real job, business card,
How to get rid of headache and insomnia with help of mushrooms.
It helps, you know,
Only go around with mushroom your head.
Test everything person...
Poetess : All I want is money.
God: I beat she is talking to me.
Inner voice : I think she was absent when the teacher was talking about idiots.
Poetess : idioms.
Inner voice : I am leaving.
Leaves with honey and apple sauce on the face.
God: money, money, money...
What about prosperity, truth, history?
Everyone is quite.
Poetess : I'll make a note.
God: fine, take the number.
Poetess : one and six zeroes,
My dream of an idiot!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
God: that's number in the money line.
Poetess : and what to do?
God: stay and wait.
And no tricking me with cutting zeroes on the dollar bill.
Poetess : back to my beautiful story.
Inner voice : what are you talking about grandpa?
Poetess : I am grandma and .. Thank you very much!
Inner voice : It's 207.. are we ...at least?
Poetess : you are at home,
Were do you think you are?
My photographs are every where.
Inner voice : did the maid made dinner?
Poetess : I am ... (swears) cooking for fifty years. .
Inner voice : that's home for sure..
Poetess : today I am writing the happy ending..
What am I talking about?
With you (to Inner voice ) I forgot everything,
Fine, I make healthy dinner as usual,
Carrot with those green things on top and soup from peas.
Back to 199..
Inner voice ( to great grand daughters): I wasn't even born yet.
Poetess ( to Inner voice ) : you can talk about the weather.
And the real witch left,
She said, she has reputation in the govern ..(reading a postal card, stops at the middle of the last word).
Not everything I should know.
Poetess : remembered that time
When I started to write,
When I was quite like a fish,
Don't know was my middle name,
Nick name was given name.
Inner voice : the weather is nice.
Poetess : thirty years ago I promised to finish it,
And it's almost done.
Here is the book.
Read here and here, my granddaughter nude pictures .. and today's news.
Skip the middle, sorry for few stains,
I was cooking.
The real witch : congratulations!
Where this beauty?
Poetess : I haven't finish it, was busy fixing my phone yesterday.
People take my one stuff and bring it back in two pieces.
Inner voice : She is writing at work.
The real witch : is that the real reason? Slacker..
Poetess :. .and they were complaining,
And I was sympathetic and I did something with my middle finger.
I should just stay who I am, I don't care and say it.
The real witch : how rude.
Poetess : then a bee got stuck in my hair.
The real witch : may be the bee thought you are a flower?
Poetess ( smiling): thank you. ..
The real witch: What are those round things in your shoes?
Poetess : to massage my shoes at night.
The real witch : cake!
Poetess ( covers her mouth and reads sign on the cake ) : Memory Dick!
The real witch : I knew you will like it!
It's part of your art.
Poetess : memory stick is part of my art!
The real witch : you know, you should speak clearly some times.
Inner voice : I think I am only one who is normal here.
Inner voice : my beauties!
Which one now?
Girls from one year old to ... are running around.
Calendar shows 205...
Audience : twenty years ago we would. ..them.
Now, we want to see what happens!
Inner voice : where are my binoculars or magnifying glass?
Poetess : I don't know where are the cats!
Would you stop bothering me with cats,
I am already tired of cleaning ...
Three times a day he asks me where are the cats,
Check outside somewhere.
I am writing "don't know ... fiction story".
Next will be called "don't care" and "don't care at .."
Wonder how long it will take me to write.
Audience : take all the ...time!
Poetess : it's 205..
Inner voice : are you ...crazy.
Poetess : may be I should write about my life changing day..
Inner voice : I want to change only one thing.
Poetess : a diaper?
Inner voice : not in my age.
Poetess : me...
"Slat" (cat): she sounds happy here.
"Smoothie kiss" (dog): she is always like this.
He (points at Inner voice) says it's ...
"Barbie" (hamster): I heard a story about my great great.. grandpa "Barbie"...
"Smoothie kiss": I was getting so much massage, now I have to be rubbed with oil for ... spots.
Inner voice ( chokes ) : No, I am interested only in my great grand daughters.
Where is our "Milky cow"?
Poetess (with three bottles of milk): I am here
Poetess: we should do things together!
Inner voice (to himself): everyday is a crisis here...
Poetess (to the audience): he is only one and only .. and who is present here,
I want to thank for everything (reading list of everything, 3 seconds)
Some one else couldn't attend.
Every night I am personally thanking this amazing person non stop, shaking hand and hugging.
And I want you to see his beautiful face.
Audience: he is naked!
Poetess (dreamingly): I can't forget the moment when I took this picture.
Inner voice (dreaming): when did I take this picture?
Poetess: I can show you movie about us (showing paper).
Poetess (reading from the paper): what if some one want to make a movie about me?
Inner voice: it will be easy, ten minutes is good enough to watch at lunch in museums.
Poetess: what about the actress?
Inner voice: one quality.
Poetess (dreamingly): beautiful..thank you (whispering).
Inner voice: no.
Poetess (dreamingly with smile): intelligent..
Inner voice: no.
Poetess: there is nothing else!
Inner voice: crazy.
Poetess: can at least a black woman play me?
The real witch : what is my name?
Is he asking me what is my name?
Poetess : I am sure he is asking someone else.
The real witch : and who?
I would like to know myself.
Poetess ( to Prince ) : throw some money at her,
She will like it.
The real witch : he better have an idea,
We are on a romantic date here.
Poetess : I am happy!
I had a dream about Donald Trump becoming next President.
Inner voice : what about Hilary,
Aren't you women supposed to support each other.
The real witch : what are you feading him?
He has this weird ideas that people are friends,
and people and animals are friends.
I am not going to be friend with a shark.
Inner voice : we have to realize we are all have to love and respect each other.
Personally I think I would love only beautiful women. .
We have to trust and appreciate each other.
(Checking door with five locks).
Inner voice : where are my beauties!
Three giant german sheppards are wagging tails.
Inner voice : did you drink milk before going to bed?
The dogs lie down near the door.
Inner voice : time to meditate.
I am calm, I am very calm, I am calm like never before
(Repeats five hundred times ).
The dogs are barking.
Inner voice : if my puppies will bark one more time tonight,
I am going to buy one more lock, gun and dog...
Poetess : Men are so selfish.
All they want to be surprised in bed and kitchen.
What about being surprised on the road while driving.
No, honking.
May be there is a secret meaning
When a woman sitting at the middle of intersection on red light?
Or signaling right and driving straight?
I almost left the car and key.
Here, you metal hat.
Inner voice : thank you, is it double protection?
Poetess : I am beginning on my knees about my wish to come true.
Inner voice : if I be dressed would it help.
We all, two, have to help each other.
Inner voice: Welcome to the club!
Poetess (looking around) : it's empty here?
Inner voice : you are the first one.
Poetess is thinking what to say.
Inner voice : you are asking too many questions.
Why didn't you stay in the forest any way?
I am sure, wild bears would love you.
Poetess : I wanted to work in the office.
Poetess is lying in the bath tab and watching movie.
Paintings on the wall, ice cream and educational magazines.
She is drinking orange juice.
We will be nice here.
The phone starts to ring.
Poetess : Good day..
Inner voice : why are you not at work?
It's Friday, lady.
Poetess : my back, I mean my butt, my belly..
(To herself ) faking all the time.
Inner voice : wake up already,
We are at work actually.
( Moving cup with change closer to the road).
Poetess : do you like my writing,
How I write?
Inner voice (pretending he is dreaming): what?
Poetess : I was thinking,
Any poets who are living has more chances to write a beautiful story,
Like doing better then great poets who are gone.
So I am doing better than Shakespeare..
Inner voice : What's your real job?
Poetess : I should write it's a fun fiction story,
Because people will think that I am writing my daily experiences here.
Inner voice : It's fake people!
Poetess : Everything is going to be great for people
I love and like.
Inner voice : I am already here.
Poetess : and why are you taking your clothes off?
Inner voice : can't be any closer..
Poetess: I wrote a story!
Inner voice: I am sure middle aged women will be very happy.
Poetess: what middle age?
I am not even sixty.
Inner voice: I hate working too.
Poetess (thinking of where to hide weights at work): what's wrong with it?
Inner voice: being a nice person at my work is a curse.
Poetess: I read in newspaper about some company,
Few employees got poisoned and they sued the company.
The fridge didn't work all weekend, first thing on Monday, bym..
Inner voice: we are not so lucky.
Poetess: I wrote a story (looking at the mirror) about some one else
And I think I need professional advise about where shall I go with it.
Inner voice: I have a friend for that.
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: what's your name boy?
Poetess: boy? Irina.
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: the mostest and importenest thing is grammar
And you have to know what a h..eck you are talking about.
Poetess (writing): the mostest importenest thing..
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: yes, I was surprised myself
When the nurse started to take off my clothes.
Poetess: the nurse?
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: no, the horse was after, or before...
Let me think my beautiful ladies.
Poetess (kind of melting with a smile): thank you...
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: me to, I am thanking only the ambulance.
I was writing a poem about farm,
Special edition Mister Taker had a horse, pig, chickens and pit bulls,
I had to ride all of them myself,
Grandma with stupid questions, she was the last one.
Poetess: you were riding grandma?
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: she said she was single.
We have to trust people.
Mister Taker had something else too, but since the children might read,
We can't talk about any weapons, especially illegal.
It was a poem for the police.
Nice detective, gave me a pillow to sit down,
We were writing for a year..
Poetess: and what happened?
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry: Peter? who is Peter?
You?
Poetess : my name is Irina.
Specialist in women, dogs and poetry :
What I was doing in the air?
I was asking this question myself:
What I am doing in the air with a laundry bag?
What am I doing in the air at all.
Five minutes, lovely conversation between birds and myself.
Wind must be changed the direction,
That was the third nurse explanation,
The one with wings didn't explain anything,
Told me to get ... out and start .. working.
And I am working my friends,
Teaching children and adults,
We are writing new story
" Penguin versus Trax, the dinosaur"..
Poetess : let's shake this old dirty bag for some news.
(Shaking the bag): hmm, money!
You know, I save shit every where
And then I don't remember where I saved it.
Inner voice : you know, you have never written me a beautiful love poem.
Poetess : about what?
Inner voice ( loud with questions in the voice) : pardon me?!
Poetess ( suspiciously ): about us?
Inner voice : you wrote about cabbages..
Poetess : it was for my Golden cabbage award.
Inner voice : wrote about fish and chips, one week dinner, wrote about cheesecake.
Poetess : cheesecake?
Inner voice : yeah, the one was on my face.
Poetess (happily): may be we were doing something romantic?!
Inner voice : not with the box.
Poetess (loud): since I paid the price
(showing a bus ticket $3,75),
The Golden cabbage award is better to be mine.
I will be slightly dressed on my ears and
Will read my best poem of the year:
They were f..ing all over the place...all night ..
Inner voice (chokes on a cup of tea): who? us?
Poetess : no! the dogs!
I am writing only about reality,
Puppies and kittens are my mom's home business.
Poetess is napping in the bathroom (work).
Poetess (mad): the witches are bothering me all day.
Screaming my name like I do something wrong
When I do nothing at all.
I already think something bad
And all it was some call to help.
This how they talk.
Inner voice : good morning mad woman!
Poetess: I forgot what I wanted to write.
Inner voice : may be so f..k them but not literally.
The real witch : and would you stop using word witch please for any wild female at your work place.
Thank goodness I don't have to work.
Poetess : my piggy bank.
Inner voice : why is it bigger then a baby cow?
Poetess is holding the Golden Cabbage award:
Thank you very much the cabbage new owner, me,..
I have everything, all I want is the money.
Poetess again: I didn't write it?
Spanish woman from work is smiling shyly:
Donald Trump lover not literally... linda.
Every one is laughing, especially the Spanish woman,
And the laughing sounds like ..
Poetess ( covers her mouth):
This why I think about witches ..
In the gum.
Poetess: I want to get in shape and start running again,
Like marathon.
Inner voice : then you have to do it,
Not talk about it!
Every one is sweating near air conditioner,
Poetess and Inner voice are drinking hot coffee.
Poetess looks little bit ... but apparently red home made lipstick makes a huge difference.
Please don't ask her the receipe because no man in ... will ...her..
Inner voice : why so many dots? Will be a surprise!?
Poetess: it's hot and then you gain weight too.
I have to watch programs about obesity and what it does to force myself go to the gym...
Inner voice : What's on your head?
A tail ?! Whose tail?!
Poetess swear a little
Mister Lottery : why don't you kiss me?
Not in the cheek!
Not in the lips either!
Almost every one (nervous): where, where to kiss?!
Inner voice : I am like elephant,
I remember shit..
I forget only where I left my keys,
Where I left my phone, where I left my wallet,
Where I parked the car..
What am I talking about?
In the bus.
Grandma witch, mama witch and sister witch are waiting for papa witch.
Inner voice is holding garlic, onion, carrot, potatoes, salt and paper for protection.
Grandma witch (knowledgeably): that's to make soup.
Inner voice mumbles something unclear.
Sister witch: one "dream of an idiot" came true.
Poetess: why this bus has two different numbers on it?
Inner voice (thinking): why do I always want more then any one else?
Poetess: I don't know what to write here,
I don't know much about witches,
It will be unfinished story.
Inner voice (starts to worry): what?
(Nicely): don't you have few girlfriends at work.
Go, spend some time together..
Friends to each other: we are here to help our friend,
So stuff your face in the mud.
Beautiful lady is reading a book "How turn beautiful lady into a frog"
On the vacation.
Inner voice : you said you want everything to be natural!!!
Poetess : A bear!? Wolves!?! House on the cliff?!!
Bushes?! Where is the bath room?!
Inner voice: in the bushes..
Poetess: Buenos Aires! ( translator: good morning!)
Inner voice: Buenos Aires! (good morning!)
Poetess: what happened?
You look like you had fight with lion and lost..
Inner voice: what about with a smaller animal?
Poetess : like a cat?
Inner voice : yes, like a cat..
Audience: is the story will ever be finished or we have to listen it until we ..?
(Some people laugh)
Inner voice: I feel great today!
Audience: stupid subscribe forever button.
Inner voice: where is my binoculars?
Audience: what are you going to do now?!
Are you going to read it again?!
Inner voice: I feel great today..
Open your eyes like bird open wings. .
Lie down with a woman and ... (hides paper from Playboy)
Audience: and!?
Inner voice: Oh, sorry, wrong paper..
Grand kids, you know.. university exams,
Have to babysit... they are burning my stuff..
Okay, here..
Poetess ( holding cabbage in front of the audience) Thank you very much for this award,
It means a lot to me!
Inner voice ( clapping hands proudly): We are going to have cabbage for dinner!
