Diamond.

Diamond: excuse me.

King: very briefly. 

Diamond: someone stole my pot.

King: getting more compliments?

Diamond: I can't believe you here!

King: imagine if it steams?

Diamond: even one will think it's me!

King: it's not you.

I still wonder what we drilled?

Diamond: they all said it!

King: they are not nice, we are.

You should've written something on it.

Diamond: people order one thing and then want something else!

King: go have fun.

Diamond: no drinks, no fun.

My pot could grand one wish.

King: really?

We will remember for next time. 

Diamond: send a text, may be anyone remembers anything. 

King: thankfully, we don't have zero forks.

May be you come out as a good boy.

Pharaoh.

Servant 2: we have donuts and coke in the kitchen.

Pharaoh: I wasn't trying to keep one.

You are still working?

Servant 2: we are your shadow.

its Friday!

And she will not see my back until 9 o'clock, this when the stores are closed.

Friday night is Friday right.

Pharaoh: she is your wife.

Servant 2: yeah, we need more sugar to stay young.

 

Diamond.

Diamond: I can’t believe this!

Some one stole my pot.

They literally grabbed from my hands!

So much about hospitality.

King: leave it alone.

Quick solution to many questions.

You are the one who was not holding it.

Diamond: leave it alone!

This is my identification document!

King: this how you learn.

You can take a pot from our kitchen.

Diamond: those pots are lighter than feather!

 

Pharaoh.

King: common  Pharaoh!

Twenty years old is good only for one night!

You will be tricked!

I wish I was.

Servant 1: twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty years will make huge difference.

King: where's is the queen?

Where is our twenty years old!

Send her message on pager “one dollar and something, something “.

She knows exactly what I am talking about.

Pastor: good morning sweethearts.

Queen: run away pastor.

You closed your church in the flood and left everyone behind!

Pastor: that was the idea.

We are not wonder land.

We are not emotional rollercoaster. 

For your information,  the government informed about the rain one month in advance. 

It was on the news.

It's not my fault, everyone thought the government was joking. 

Queen: it makes no sense. 

Pastor: it was only raining non stop for two hours.

Queen: two days!

Pastor: sweetheart, you eat too many sweets. 

Too much sugar.

Queen: so you figured this all out.

Pastor: I don't know what it means.

We can go to the church only when we know everything, everything. 

Do we know why people didn't hide somewhere else?

Do we know why fell so much rain that day, twenty years ago?

All you can do, is forget about it.

You can sit next to me and we can talk.

Queen: King want me always have in mind Pharaoh, his slaves and gold.

Pastor: does Pharaoh know where to find it?

It was long years.

See, may be he can see it in his dreams.

Queen: in details?

Pastor: you never know, keep the shining the lights on above all the region.

 

Pharaoh.

King: where's is Pharaoh?

Servant 1: which one?

King: we know only one.

Open the door, I want to see ladies in the gym.

Servant 1: you want to see the gym?

King: I said "I want to see ladies in the gym"!

Why would i want to see the gym?

Servant 1: how was your trip with Pharaoh?

King: heavily drinking. 

We didn't argue that much.

Stop looking at the door and smile.

Servant 1: I remember queen saying "oh yeah, he is going away!".

King: for the meeting, write "only don't bring tomatoes ".

Pharaoh.

King: and that’s all!

“Where is the king?”.

Queen: did you tell him that?

Pharaoh: where is the king?

Servant 2: busy with his baby.

Pharaoh: tell, I will be working all day.

Servant 2: I will be working with you.

I have a date today.

Fridays! No more!

Anything she tries,

And then “boom",

Its perfect again!

Three witches and the king.

King: stop rushing people!

First witch: there’s a bug!

This why I say “quick, quick, quick “.

King: she is 57 years old woman.

This is all her fault.

Second witch: may be you blame yourself today?

Third witch: let him blame someone else  for a change.

First witch: in ancient days you can have eight women on the side.

Third witch: its advance.

King: for my information.

Third witch: wrong.

First witch: they all will listen to you.

Third witch: and tell you what to do.

First witch: everything is perfectly wrong!

King: what do you do here?

Third witch: physics.

King: what time to what time?

Third witch: we are working 9 to 5.

Its constant physics.

 

 

Fat cats.

Fat cat: piggy, you are perfect.

Fat cat: we wish our boss is like you, with two pounds of cash.

Piggy: you would eat him.

Fat cat: piggy, you take everything with a smile!

Fat cat: here, you can’t say this, you can’t say that.

You can't say anything except “Aaaa!”.

Fat cat: can you be any slower!

Fat cat: you hear.

One minute!

Fat cat: lots of yogurt.

Fat cat: we have to keep our fur smooth.

Fat cat: doggy, we would share, but we have to go work like a wind.

Fat cat: we have boring job.

Piggy: I forgot, I used to do it.

Fat cat: if my kitty will not find my fur smooth, she will not know what to say.

 

Pharaoh.

Servant 1: you smell nice.

Servant 2: we can smell your perfume from the kitchen.

Pharaoh: my wife made it for me.

Five thousand years ago.

Servant 1: long time.

Pharaoh: where is the king?

Servant 1: with the witches.

Servant 2: he still thinks you are not real.

Servant 1: nice shoes.

Pharaoh: my wife bought for me.

One kilogram of gold.

Servant 2: how many years ago it was?

Servant 1: his wife doesn't buy him anything.

Servant 2: she said, he has more money then her.

Servant 1: she bought him a flag.

She said on Thursday “ I will buy you a flag" and she bought it on Friday.

Servant 2: we have to leave our work and go look for it.

This is stupid.

Pharaoh: may be the flag was in the office.

Servant 1: we checked, it wasn't there.

Apparently it was in the bedroom.

 

 

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: I can tell you what's crazy?

Actually, never mind.

Lazy!?

I only asked, you don't have to get angry.

First witch: what to say when you work for someone else.

King: your store has some good name,

I mean “For lease “.

Third witch: we thought you would forget.

King: I didn't.

Third witch: places like this are always open.

Second witch: Raptors always win, Blue Jay’s always win, but there is Toronto Maple Leaves…

Queen: who is hungry?

First witch: hangry?

Queen: hungry plus angry.

First witch: our kitchen.

King: so you haven nothing upstairs and everything downstairs?

Third witch: its fancy.

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: our king-bun!

King: answer your phone!

Third witch: they are fine.

King: you said you are bad.

Third witch: something wrong with us.

Mentally. 

Our equipment is matching our technology. 

Wear your glasses and look at this rock.

King: I bought you a gas tank.

You can stay nice and warm at winter.

Third witch: gas tank!?

You scare us.

Don't shake it.

Second witch: who bought the tractor?

You? 

Third witch: didn't you buy a tractor last year?

People can drive that.

Queen: I know. 

First witch: king looks like he wants to say something but stays quiet.

King: you know when people say "woman doesn't have mind on her own".

In my case, she does. 

I come home and I have to beg!

Third witch: everyone wants something. 

King: today she wants a plant.

There are a lot of plants outside. 

Bring a drink, turn on TV, walk the dog, wash the dishes, bring dinner upstairs, get soda.

Second witch: you have a dog?

King: I might need therapy. 

Should it be documented?

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: is this our new athlete!?

King: before it was 1 dollar, now its 180.

Third witch: it will cost more.

Second witch: no one can buy nothing. 

First witch: you can buy, as long as it has zeroes at the end.

King: zeroes?

Third witch: money!

King: can money grow on threes?

Third witch: no, it's not working. 

Second witch: we tried already.

First witch: we have a lot of trees up here.

King: I thought you are busy here.

First witch: did you already talk to the walls?

King: I did.

Third witch: I will talk to your queen.

King: I am not saying I want better life now, because she will be angry at me.

I am saying I want different pick at premature times.

Queen: next thing, he put at the wrong place a cigarette. 

Third witch: he what!

 

 

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: our bubble!

King: I am going to the gym today.

Third witch: who does that.

This how gyms make their money.

King: I tell you why I am going to the gym.

To make sure I am still able to.

Third witch: make sure.

Second witch: we should do it.

For us.

Third witch: are you kidding me.

We can exercise at home.

First witch: how many ingredients we should use in the soup for the king?

Third witch: use them all.

King: when you exercise, you don't have to eat all the time.

Third witch: and how would we know that?

Second witch: we missed someone. 

And King, it was you!

First witch: we didn't do our search. 

Third witch: remember, I said, we need someone serious and he has to be good. 

King: yes, always. 

Third witch: what bothers you?

King: I just say 4 o'clock, and no of my servants are at work already.

Third witch: did you give free sanitizer to your servants?

King: you supposed to?

Third witch: ours don't want to do anything without free stuff.

King: I didn't think that.

Third witch: we thought.

King: yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Third witch: why don't you go to different witches and say yeah, yeah, yeah. 

King: remind me what I was asking when I got here at night. 

Third witch: a push.

You are nice.

Three witches and the King.

Queen: when the fun starts?

King: they don't want you to have fun, they want your money.

Fist witch: push the button. 

King: no.

Second witch: if you can't do the simplest thing!

Third witch: he has some weird problems. 

Is he like that at home?

First witch: this is only online casino and twenty dollars. 

Second witch: king, something tells me, never promise a lot.

Third witch: he can't fool nobody. 

Queen: he is more at home.

Third witch: you should bring him earlier. 

Queen: he sat on the throne on Friday. 

Third witch: everything together.

Queen: actually, he got mixed up.

Third witch: with other people?

Queen: monkeys. 

Every time monkeys see the new kings, they steal them.

Second witch: messed up. 

Third witch: you have to share.

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: someone is sleeping at work. 

First witch: at least we were not singing. 

Second witch: we supposed to use magic, but we decided to work. 

First witch: this is nice office. 

Third witch: its wrong kind of office.

Second witch: do you see our hands?

Third witch: smooth. 

King: this is wrong kind of hand. 

Second witch: king, you singing today.

King: I was watching a movie.

First witch: at work?

King: no, at home. 

Three witches and the king.

First witch: you are wearing a nice shirt.

King: sone one told me the same lie this morning.

Second witch: too small?

King: going for breakfast now.

Third witch: I see her right here.

Queen: he doesn't trust any one.

First witch: of course.

Second witch: and how long do you have these symptoms?

King: all my life.

Second witch: we have medium and large. 

Only one size bigger. 

Queen: what is the solution?

First witch: smelly socks. 

Wear smelly socks. 

It will wake him up. 

King: we can read the craziest things here.

First witch: exactly. 

Second witch: I was reading on Tuesday. 

Very motivated. 

Third witch: wrong.

It's all in your imagination. 

King: what's your name, witch?

First witch: we don't have names.

We can pick any name.

Second witch: witches without names are more costly. 

First witch: he is changing colors.

Third witch: oil the king up.

Let's see if he has multiple personalities. 

May be they will say something. 

Three witches and the king.

First witch: two o'clock.

You supposed to start at 10.

Is it raining outside?

Second witch: where is our "Less is more" sign?

We have to keep our clients up to date.

Third witch: you are sitting on it.

First witch: put on the door.

Third witch: look at your size!

Stop it. 

Second witch: hopefully no one shows up today with their problems.

First witch: King!

Third witch: like in the movie. 

I was watching on the weekend. 

Second clerk: where is his partner?

In case we have to blame someone. 

Third witch: teachers, do you want to ask the king what issues he has?

First witch: not me, I only work here.

Second witch: he said his wife is a witch, so..

Third witch: King!

Welcome to the pit.

Our natural habitat.

First witch: she is the one!

King: can't find.

First witch: can't find her?

She is here. 

Queen: good morning. 

First witch: morning?

Queen: we just woke up.

King: can't find who I don't have to pay anywhere I go.

Our servants go home at 4:30, not at 5:30.

First witch: can't find slaves?

You should say it.

We thought something is wrong. 

Third witch: go home. 

First witch: think of stable country.

Ancient Egypt was stable country.

First witch: now we know. 

New Kings...

New King number one: this very challenging, this is a secret. 

What  vehicle can flip from driving on a little stone?

New Queen number one: I forgot. 

New King number one: you forgot all of this?

Skate board. 

New Queen numbe one: skate board is not a vehicle. 

New King number one: every thing that brings you from A to B is a vehicle.

When we run, we are vehicles.

New Queen number one: some common sense, okay bye.

New King number one: you have to correct my stress correctly!

Servant 1: she is trying.

Servant 2: women gang against men sometimes.

New King number one: sometimes!

What is she doing?

Servant 1: she is pushing bag.

Servant 2: mostly we work at the end of the day. 

Servant 1: our resume.

Servant 2: we say, so, so.

New King number one: it starts from good morning.

House cleaning?

Servant 1: not me.

New King number one: what came first, chicken or egg?

Servant 1: you.

New King number one: correct. 

Servant 2: smells like a zoo.

Servant 1: an animal!

New Queen number one: our new cow.

Thirty five dollars. 

New King number one: ten dollars more!

New Queen number one: each and every person was asking me what animal it is.

New King number one: shame no one knows now how to get milk from a cow.

Servant 1: we studied in school. 

Servant 2: we can take turns.

New Queen number one: let's face the cow first.

New King number one: you think there are jokes written on it.

New Queen number one: they were asking seventy.

New King number one: for seventy we don't need a cow.

Neighbors expect us to be equal.

First, we have to look at the back and make sure it's a cow.