Woman on the phone: you don't rub it in,
You put it on top just like this.
Poetess: I would like to apply for Golden Cabbage Award...
Woman on the phone: are you our porno movie actor?
Poetess: no.
Woman on the phone: good for you.
Do you have Golden Potatoe Award?
Poetess: no.
Woman on the phone: good for you.
First you have to have Golden Onion Award,
Then Golden Tomato Award,
Golden Coffee, Golden Advil, Golden Junk Food,
Then Golden Potatoe, when famous writers are here with cars and here with houses and here on vacation and you are here with Golden Potatoe Award.
When you have Golden Couch Award you can call yourself a well known writer.
With Golden Surprise Award you can retire.
Don't forget Golden Garbage Award.
Poetess: why everything is Golden?
Woman on the phone: well, you have to pay for it.
Poetess: with gold?
Woman on the phone: American dollars would be fine.
We are international company.
