Pharaoh

Pharaoh: coming, coming. 
You don't know my name!
New King: no.
Pharaoh: you can put "F" on the label.
New Queen number one: you are cute.
Pharaoh: cute?
New King number one: she said it three times. 
Pharaoh: where is the food?
New King number one: nothing for us.
New Queen number one: we have, but it expired. 
New King number one: we will eat on Tuesday. 
Pharaoh: today is Friday!
New King number one: we are not eating. 
Pharaoh: not eating is not crazy, its insane. 
New Queen number one: we have only one break. 
New King number one: only for people who is on the top.
Pharaoh: same of you?
New King number one: we don't want to know.
Pharaoh: where is the lunch?
Servant 1: at two o'clock. 
Pharaoh: but the king said no food until Tuesday. 
Servant 1: he said?
The most important, we don't care. 
New Queen number one: yes!
Servant 1: food is here.
New Queen number one: where is the king?
Servant 1: trying braids. 
Servant 2: fruits and cake and coffee. 
Servant 1: we didn't see anything. 
New Queen number one: throw some food under the bed, not too much.
Servant 1: who is going to check it?


Sunsets followed sunrises.

Our soldiers went for you,

I wanted to be a unknown song.

And I dreamed of my native land,

I saw lights of the fires, our train flew away into the distance, and warm hands only were whispering: "Forgive, we are not sorry for anything."

We raised our farm lands, dragged the plow behind us, yesterday's dream will be again, how our sons are going into the battle.

We said goodbye in the bright hallway:

Only don't forget your name.

How the father tore all the documents,

We were going on a hard journey.

All the food was my bag,

Don’t talk, be silent,

And other trains followed our train.

Where is faith, power, truth on earth!

Quiet - tired soldier, slapped me loudly on the cheek.

And again we were pushing farm plow, feeling sorry for the young girls.

Let our army tell you what truth is on the war.

The sound of sirens, someone throws a crust of bread and a voice somewhere whispers softly:

Don't be afraid, eat.

Spring has come, here are the headlines from the newspapers "looking for a soldier, looking for a soldier", and there are dances in the club, how many brides are there.

Закаты сменяли рассветы.

Солдаты наши шли к тебе,

Хотела песней быть не спетой.

А я мечтала о родной земле,

Я видела огни пожаров,  наш поезд улетавший в даль, и руки теплые шептали: "Прости, нам ничего не жаль".

Мы поднимали наши пашни, плуга тащили за собой, приснится день вчерашний как сыновья уходят в бой.

Прощались мы в прихожей светлой:

Своё ты имя не забудь,

Как папа рвал все документы,

Мы собирались в трудный путь.

Eду в мою столкали сумку,

Не слова лишнего, молчи,

А по путям за тем составом другие эшелоны шли.

А еcть ли вера, есть ли сила, а есть ли правда на земле!

Болтаешь что, солдат усталый, мне хлопнул громко по щеке.

И снова мы в плугага впрягались, девченок молодых жалев.

Пусть наша армия расскажет, какая правда на войне.

Шум сирен, бросает кто-то корку хлеба и голос где-то шепчет тихо:

Не бойся, ешь.

Весна пришла, вот заголовки из газет "ищу солдата, ищу солдата", а в клубе танцы, сколько тут невест.


  

Fools gold

King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!

Specialists in cats?

We do this all the time!

There are thousands and thousands cats.

The results?

Hm, yeah.

Starting right now!

Where is the dog?

Woof, woof, woof!

He is here.

Troll: where is the secretary?

King of Fools: she is cleaning.

Will be right back. 

Troll: tough conversation?

King of Fools: Mickey still in denial. 


Pharaoh.

Pharaoh: what is the story behind it?
New King number one: two here and two here.
Pharaoh: how do you know?
New King number one: for one thousand years!
Pharaoh: where is the cutie pie?
New King number one: we paid three hundred boxes.
Pharaoh: this is cheap. 
New King number one: at least she looks normal. 
Servant 1: say "yes".
Servant 2: may be she is confused.
Servant 1: add peeling to her skin. 
New King number one: gorgeous. 
Servant 2: what to do with the mummy?
New King number one: don't bother us. 
Sweetheart, you will marry Pharaoh and ask where he hid the treasures and if we need a truck to carry it. 
Everything except the history.
History we already know.
New Queen number one: is that another one?
New King number one: only one.
How many times do I have to tell you. 

Fools gold

Fool (yawning): oh.. 

Troll: all day you do what you want.

Fool: if there is no money, no one is watching,

If there is money, everyone is watching. 

King of Fools: yyy.

Fools: yyy.

King of Fools: yyy.

Troll: why do we call hamburger something that has no ham?

King of Fools: we bought you extra large coke and fries.

Mama Mia: bon appetit!

King of Fools: you can have extra lunch.

Mama Mia: we have salads.

King of Fools: it will be more romantic. 


Pharaoh

Pharaoh: what is this creepy sound!
New King number one: so many stones. 
Pharaoh: where are you taking it?
New King number one: you said.
Pharaoh: you have all those machines!
New King number one: who is going to help me!?
Pharaoh: the machines!
New Queen number one: you know what's more amazing?
You got taller today.
Pharaoh: taller than yesterday?
New Queen number one: the tallest of all.
Pharaoh: it feels like I was born the other day.
New Queen number one: it was the other day.
Marrying yourself is not very helpful. 

Pharaoh

Pharaoh: when you use your legs push it like this.

New King: yeah.

Pharaoh: just don't touch anything else,

Only the horse.

New Queen number one: may be we look at the picture first?

New King number one: oh.

Pharaoh: don't jump on the tree.

New King number one: when does this park closes?

Pharaoh: there are still people.

New King number one: we should keep the lights off.

Pharaoh: keep your legs up.

Remember horse is running his legs, not you.

New King number one: push me.

Pharaoh: fourth horses is a charm.

New King number one: if the horse will not stop?

Pharaoh: then you will be running to the high way.

New Queen number one: good for him.

New King number one: don’t jump and swing your legs and don't let go.

Pharaoh: this what I just said,

I don't need echo.

New Queen number one: try it again.

Pharaoh: here go, exactly like this.

 

New Kings

New King number one (looking at the fresh painting on the wall): looks like a beaver now.
Pharaoh: who? 
The lion?
New King number one: do we have to draw the marks?
Pharaoh (looking at the painting): do another one. 
New King number one: it's not going to happen. 
Pharaoh: go!
New King number one: check erasers.
Where in dollar store.
New Queen number one: where is five tonnes machine?
(looking at the picture) kind of short.
New King number one: we need solution that actually works!
Pharaoh: would you sell pyramid for good price?
New King number one: yes.
Pharaoh: its ancient thing!
New King number one: why would I want it?Pharaoh: the real question is,
Why you don't build pyramids?
You said you like it.


 .. where the words are distant

and the roads are long,

where the fields are green,

nightingale songs ...

Secondary school, junior grades,

A beautiful voice of a distant childhood.

I finish the food of the our so called "royal table", pour a little wine and the record is tired of playing music,

I don't remember her at all, a strange woman named Sarochka.

As always, starting the conversation from Egypt,
thousands of years have always been yesterday.

Well, I would not have come here at all, but once the stars were shining for both of us.

Then, we put these stars on dresses, and couned days as sunrises, I started to sing about a kind country that I had never seen.

I think right now, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, for these people who went through the war,

we were their last battle.

We were simple, spoiled,

Dressed nicely, cheerful,

We grew up freely, all loved,

And what can I say, we were completely different from those girls.

We sat together on an old bench, it was our last meeting.

Our roads will find you if necessary, and you will answer if you want.

Well, don't be bored, remember us sometimes.

Give your child our name.

Simple words, we didn't have much to talk about.
Well, what can I give, for you to know, we thought about you and love,

If you want, I will give you country that you have not seen before.


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...где слова далекие

и дороги длинные,

где поля зеленые,

песни соловьиные ...

Средняя школа, младшие классы,

Детства далекого голос прекрасный.

Доедаю еду стола царского, наливаю немного вина и пластинка играет усталая,

Я совсем не помню ее, странную женщину по имени Сарочка.

Разговор как всегда с Египта начав,

тысячи лет всегда были вчера.

Ну разве пришла бы я, разве пришла, но вместе когда-то нам звезды светили.

Потом эти звезды на платья надев, дни считая рассветами, пела о доброй стране, которой ни разу не видела.

Я думаю вот сейчас, внуки и правнуки где-то, для этих людей, прошедших войну,

мы были последняя битва.

Мы были простые, балованы,

Одеты красиво, веселые,

Росли мы свободно, любимые все,

И что говорить, на девушек тех мы были совсем не похожие.

Сидели вдвоем на старой скамейке, последняя наша встреча.

Дороги родные если надо найдут, а ты если надо ответишь.

Ну что, не скучай, вспоминай иногда.

Ребёнка зови нашим именем.

Простые слова, нам и много говорить было не о чем.

Ну что же тебе подарить, чтоб знала, думали мы и любили,

А хочешь, тебе страну подарю, которой ты раньше не видела.


 


 

Pharaoh

New King number one: some percent. 
Pharaoh: let me see.
New King number one: its like a bag.
You think you can fit it?
Pharaoh: the experience!
Three and a half thousand years.
New Queen number one: baby boomer. 
Pharaoh: funny.
New King number one: if you don't eat that much.
Pharaoh: where is the pyramid?
Have you been circling a piece of chicken!?
New King number one: you can have two!
Pharaoh: common man.
New Queen number one: where is mine?
New King number one: you can have kitchen here.

Fools gold

King of Fools: wisdom,  ozdom, ozdom!
Happy Friday. 
Troll: I thought you are going to drink it.
King of Fools: tequila?
It's for "tequila weekend".
I might, I feel sleepy.
Always something. 
Cheers.
Troll: cheers. 
Mama Mia (on the phone): the government bonus is enough only for food and if you are starving little bit.
King of Fools (on the phone): yes, I am at work. 
On the same work!
I like to walk.
After work no walking.
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
May be he was chilling and not bitching. 




Pharaoh

New King number one: you look hot.
New King number two: I am hot.
We have package for you,
It's in the box.
Pharaoh: no.
New King number two: no?
Pharaoh: no.
I am not spending nine dollars on it.
New King number two: what if you get hungry?
Pharaoh: it's a brand new thing for me.

Fools gold

Mama Mia (on the phone): I think, things are getting better, the gragly pit wasn't locked this morning. 
Fool (on the phone): this is all messed up.
King of Fools (on the phone): exercised in the park?
In shorts?
In tights!?
You should've call me.
Troll (looking at the bottles): normal people would put a label first.
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
She did it last time?
Where you present when she was doing it?
Mama Mia: Boss of Trolls.
King of Fools: what in the world!
Boss of Trolls (on the phone): I was expecting some work. 
King of Fools (on the phone): this what we are doing!
Step by step.
Fool: mister Troll, you can grab it. 
King of Fools (on the phone): we will start tomorrow. 
Do the same thing?
We surely will!
Mister Troll and mister Fool,  hurry up.



Fools gold

King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
Use shampoo, we can give you some.
Hold on, mister Troll, how often do you use shampoo?
Troll: where's the tape roll?
King of Fools (on the phone): we always do good job.
Do you still want us to send you extra pigs?
Troll: where's the tape roll?
King of Fools: what tape roll?
Troll: the tape roll.
King of Fools: yeah, yeah, yeah!
Troll: where is everyone?
King of Fools: they forgot to wear mask.
(on the phone) mister Troll is here.
We are having a blast!
Why our pigs are much cheaper?
(whispering) they love to breed.
You have to find room for little pigs.
You can check our showroom. 
No, they don't have two houses,  they have one.

Fools gold

King of Fools: what is this!
Troll: work.
King of Fools: you didn't find anything more stupid to do.
Troll: we only make copies. 
King of Fools: if you sit on the printer we copy you too.
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
Yes, have a wonderful weekend!

Fools gold

Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
Expensive?
You can't walk naked. 
Actually women could.
You can wear little piece of fabric and your husband will say "Oh this is my wife".

Fools gold

King of Fools: freshly made coffe and bananas from monkey "The Genius".
We've been only asking for one!
Troll: I guess your monkeys are different.
Mama Mia: and the lucky number. 
Its six!
You can use it for the lottery.
King of Fools: we love it!
Troll: what are the chances?
King of Fools: you don't believe?
Troll: no, I don't. 
Any solution?
King of Fools: I am calling monkey "The Genius" right now.
(on the phone) crazy!
Mister Troll,  our monkeys said they will drill holes themselves when you find the Fools gold. 
(on the phone) where is he from?
Mister Troll, where are you from?
(on the phone) did we see it!?
We see it now!
New number!
Use a pan!
Thank you all together. 
Mister Troll,  new lucky number is 1047.
Troll: isn't this the time now?
Exactly 10:47.


Fools gold

King of Fools: you are kind of quiet today.

Troll: I sang already.

King of Fools: me too.

Don't you wish to be a lucky pig?

You don't have to work. 

Ttoll: no.

King of Fools: you have to pick the side.

We still can't figure out how to make our lucky pigs to fly again, after the quarantine. 

Basically,  they are heavy. 

We have thirty pigs who think they are for shelves or something. 


Fools gold

Miss fool: this why I come early,  to have my coffee. 

I wake up at five in the morning,  shower, have my coffee and go to work.

On weekends I eat and stay in the bed all day. 

King of Fools: I am getting my cup!

Troll: piggy boy!

Fool: King of Fools in the class.

Troll: what's this?

Fool: alarm?

The government proposed "Get out to work" plan.

We are adding "five more minutes " which is taking an hour. 

Troll: I want it to be saved on the server.

My work for few months.

Fool: we will print copies first.

I do it myself!

How many copies do you need?

Troll: excuse me?

Fool: I make thirty. 

After the long weekend..

Troll: what long weekend?

Fool: we include Friday,  parks, lunch and movie.

Troll: okay.

Fool: we have nineteen types of paper. 

We can separate your information on the different types of paper.

Troll: if you can!

How long its going to take?

Fool: when we hold the printer, it's much faster.

You can leave it here.

Miss witch: ladies and gentleman. 

Let's look carefully on a dollar bill.

You have to see what's money coming to you. 







Pharaoh

Pharaoh: back, back, back. 
New King number one: pharaoh is back.
New King number two: uh-oh, where is the packing table?
I mean "uh-oh".
Pharaoh: make sure you don't bring anything in the mixed pyramids.
New King number one: how long its going to last,
May be four thousand years?

Fools gold

Fool: good morning mister Fool.
Fool: its almost lunch. 
You don't want to start "good morning" again. 
Fool: its nice outside. 
Ttoll: no snow?
Fool: we are getting close to the weekend!
King of Fools: oh, this is you mister Troll!
Troll: yeah.
King of Fools: I thought it was Mama Mia.
I was about to ask if you need anything, you can ask me.
Troll: it's a good idea. 
Mama Mia: mister Troll, you are all wet!
King of Fools: I wish everyone will come from vacation looking like this.
Troll:  what vacation?
One day?
King of Fools: my fools are here too, at the door.
Troll: what a day.
Mama Mia: phone call!
Troll: my emails are not coming. 
Mama Mia: do it manually, this how it works.
King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!
What's wrong?! And never correct!
You have to thank her by her name.
Not "thank you woman!"
What's her name?
Say "thank you Bella".
Doesn't work?
Still? 
Sometimes you have to do it again, bye.
Mama Mia: phone call!
King of Fools: essential services!
(on the phone) he is wild!
At what days?
I don't blame him.
Seems like, you can bring him to work or leave him at home.
Many of our employees do that.
He can be the boss here.
No, don't have to do anything.
Fool: we have big projects mister Troll.
Work is work, why not.
Fool: today we will measure distance between the street and the office. 
Because this what the government wants.
Troll: I don't know how to measure. 
Fool: very easy, all you have to do  is to take measuring tape and find "one".
What will be the distance?
King of Fools: number between one and the door.
Fool: correct. 


The Martian story

Martian: it's hot, hot, hot.
Martian: I wish it was black out.
Martian: yeah, things can be better.
Martian: how long we have to show people the pictures?
Martian: did we explain everything?
Martian: next question
"Oh, yeah, okay, what"?
Martian: what is this?
Martian: answer to all the questions. 
Martian: or "wait, what"?
Martian King: stuff meeting. 
"Mars 2020" is sitting here for 5 month.
Martian: "Mars 2019" was here only for a week in one part.
Martian: I always have been wondering what's between us and humans?
Martian: you can go away. 
Martian King: may be we can learn how to build ships.
Martian: it was millions of other planets, 
I don't know why he picked this one.
Martian: he only can count until 1, 2, 3.
One, two, three.
Martian: no, he was picking at 3 o'clock.

Fools gold

King of Fools: we actually have to spend money on the government.
I have to look in the mirror in the morning!
We can't just work!
Troll: what is that noise?
King of Fools: who?
We are using more residential area on "super flash".
Trust me, we have more quality at this.
Troll: you going to build stuff?
King of Fools: no, move stuff.
The worst thing is fire and two way roads.
Fool: trust me, we know exactly what we are doing.
King of Fools: now with grass, you can enjoy your games in it mister Troll.

 

New Kings.

New King number one: where's piggy?

Piggy: like piggy that works?

I am not that kind of piggy.

Angry birds are pigs.

New King number one: why are you so big anyway?

Where do we get this giant pigs?

Piggy: why do you have to be so precise.

Five dollars and five cents. 

Make it ten.

New King number one: does money grow on trees?

Piggy: sometimes. 

It made out of paper. 

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