Poems,stories and pictures by Irina Mouravleva.
Pharaoh: we did everything normal people would do.
We blamed each
other.
King: we like
a tail.
You don't need
it, but it’s good to have.
Pharaoh: what
is this wild singing?
King: the servants,
good that we took them all.
Pharaoh: which
one!?
Servant: looks like its going to be rain.
King: the songs are very popular.
Servant: my clothes goes here.
He was so upset.
Who is going to help me on the kitchen!
King: this office was called “stuffed duck” for a reason!
Where is the queen?
Servant: sleeping.
King: does it?
Did she seriously asked Pharaoh directly about his treasures?
Servant: not surprised.
King: we need bed in the office, so we can sleep right here.
They get rid of bed and put chairs.
How dumb can it be.
Queen: no.
King: this is ridiculous.
Can you understand the need of our country for the ancient gold.
Queen: Pharaohs hide everything.
King: it was long time ago!
You have to find his sensitive spots.
Where's is Pharaoh?
Servant: he is just sitting here.
King: do some extensions, may be he can grab it.
Queen: this is the strategy?
King: I think SpaceTax will reach the moon before NASA.
Pharaoh: they
did already.
What are you
talking about?
King: I mean
Mars.
Pharaoh: tell
me, how do you chill?
King: we have
fun with obvious things and play music.
Pharaoh: more.
King: she found
something in the garden and I had chicken.
Pharaoh: or
dear.
King: not quite
fun.
I remember I
had vacation by myself and my friends waited
for me.
Now I go to
stores.
Pharaoh: every
time?
King: she was
eating chicken all over the place and she said: chicken, chicken, chicken!
I am her chicken
baby.
Pharaoh: oh,
okay.
King: do you
want me to tell you more about it?
I have 2000
examples.
King of Fools (on the phone): wisdom!
Ozdom, ozdom.
Troll (enters
the room): you broke my door again.
King of
Fools: mister Troll,
You didn't push “I am okay, thank you” button at 5 o'clock.
We've already sent you a dog to guard the door.
All you have to do, push the button (pushing imaginary button), very simple.
I was throwing duzzies all the way to rescue you.
Troll: I was
sleeping.
King: beauty
sleep?
Troll: did
you say free country?
Mama Mia: Mister
Troll, don’t argue.
King of
Fools: good point. (kissing Mama Mia's hand).
Troll: here.
King of
Fools: what is this?
Troll: I fixed
your problem and bought new plunger.
King of
Fools: it’s not our style.
I hope, you
didn't use our credit card to pay for it.
Troll: it’s
a plunger.
All you
have to do is plunge the toilet.
King of
Fools: we do it in style!
Troll: where
is the wash room?
King of
Fools: first of all, its “bathroom”.
Mama Mia (looking
at the plunger): the stuff looks so old, you can give it for free.
King of
Fools: its probably cost fortune like the paper from a week ago.
Troll: where
is the bathroom!
Mama Mia: phone
call!
King of Fools
(on the phone): essential services!
(whispering)
my sock is still on my heal, yes, since the afternoon.
King: forever young, forever young.
Pharaoh: your
singing warms up my heart.
Where are the
slaves?
King: your thinking
no more then mine.
They are sleeping.
Pharaoh: on
the plantation?
King: at home.
Different climate.
Pharaoh: you
don't have dessert, you don't have sand storms?
King: yes, unfortunately.
Servant 1: queen
is on the phone.
King: tell her
I am not hiding.
Servant 2: she
think you didn't go to work, you went somewhere else.
Pharaoh: where
are you going?
King: home.
Pharaoh: at
1 o'clock?
Truth and only
the truth.
Servant 2: I
am going to the same hone, to the next month,
the night club.
Servant 1: bananas!
Pharaoh: what
is this?
Servant 1: bananas.
Pharaoh: I think
it’s a shame to give Pharaoh green bananas for breakfast.
Servant 1: our
monkey slaves are terrible.
They are only
learning how to say “cheese”.
The monkeys
didn't want to work 7 days, then we have to shorten by 5.
Now we have
to do their job, not every day.
We will color
the bananas at any color you want.
Priestess: why are putting water on your head?
You are sweating already.
Pharaoh: they are not nice.
Priestess: you are dreaming, your are sleep.
Pharaoh: they don't cook.
Priestess: every time you wake up to have breakfast, think you
are sleeping.
Eat this, mayonnaise and honey, relaxing dish.
Sleeping.
Pharaoh: how many servants do you have?
Priestess: since all the prices gone up on everything.
Before we could afford eight hundred servants, now only one.
Parrot: money.
King: I don't
think so.
Servant 1: you
have to look at this bird again.
King: I was
looking at home.
Why is it always
me!
Servant 2: she
doesn't know any difference.
Servant 1: you
are the man, ha ha.
King: one day,
I say, bye, see you, and go home.
Servant 2: yeah,
see you tomorrow.
Priestess: and what did she say to you?
This is your
last night at her kitchen?
If she is normal,
give her this cooking oil, if she is crazy, give her this honey.
And if she complains,
change the subject.
Don’t drop anything.
Next!
Pharaoh: I am
sweating here.
Priestess: are
you behaving?
Was anyone helping
you before?
Pharaoh: mess.
Priestess: who?
Pharaoh: mess.
Priestess: you
found one already?
This how you
learn.
One day you
do this, next day you do that.
Pharaoh: and
on top of that,
How can I go
3 thousand years back in time?
Priestess: he
probably wanted to know how it works.
Pharaoh: I thought
it probably foolishness of my young years.
Priestess: sure.
Pharaoh: its
king and his witches.
Priestess: they
probably scanned something wrong.
We can check
if they use the right scanner.
I can see, they
put “zero”.
Pharaoh: what
it means?
Priestess: this
what happens when you change your system every day.
We watch one
of the time.
We ask mostly,
and they say, they have no idea.
Priestess: you
have 30 in file and zero mistakes.
Pharaoh: its
three thousand.
Priestess: we
thought you are only in history books.
Pharaoh: no,
I am not in history books.
I am right here.
Witch: I see 2 winning numbers!
King: you have
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 20, 25 numbers in the ticket!
Witch: what
are you doing here?
Lets try again.
King: I was
reading and explaining myself my own recommendations why we need many slaves.
Witch: many
slaves called “robots".
Stop looking
at ours.
King: looks
like coffee maker to me.
Witch: we couldn't
figure out!
Where's my kitten!?
Fat cat: seriously!
Seriously!
I am a grown
man already.
Fat cat: ask
more milk.
We will have
a party tonight.
Witch: what
a good boy.
King: these
cats look huge.
Witch: because
we care.
Majority of
our kittens are special breed.
Fat cat: what
movie do you want to see, about love or “meow”?
Fat cat: meow.
Witch: he is
saying something!
Kitten, say
“please”.
Fat cat: beer.
It might be
in the box.
Witch: he is
wonderful.
King: wild cats.
Fat cat: something stuck in my shoe.
Fat cat:
your foot stuck in your foot.
Fat cat: what
does it mean!
Fat cat: you are turning into a black
cat.
Fat cat:
may be I really should!
Fat: relax.
Color flex
is my favorite color.
Fat cat: neighbors are making drugs non stop in their kitchen.
We made
less the a quarter of that.
We have to stop.
We take a break.
Then we went shopping.
Fat cat:
not surprise me.
Fat cat:
it’s not drug, its natural medicine.
Fat cat:
you are full of vitamins!
Fat cat: we
all going to be affected.
Fat cat:
bikini mercy.
Fat cat: is
it a song?
Fat cat: he
is telling on me!
Fat cat: if
I will remember.
Fat cat: he
is always telling on you.
I just
remember, picture of our president or something.
He talks
like he is singing.
My favorite
song of all the time.
Piggy: bring piggy bank this way.
Fat cat: another piggy bank!
Fat cat: we need piggy bank like this.
Piggy: practice makes a lot of sense.
If you are qualified.
Fat cat: it has something to do with not being fat cat.
Fat cat: pigs like to roll when they are young.
Fat cat: they don't listen.
Fat cat: leave piggy alone and sit down.
Fat cat: you are not getting our piggy bank.
Piggy: I know, right.
Fat cat: it's fake gold.
Do you like comedy movies?
Piggy: some.
I've seen a few.
You watch it, you understand this world.
Fat cat: people are stupid.
Fat cat: you only know few!
Fat cat: world looks cool.
Fat cat: in your video game.
Witch: see, from here to here,
All magic wishes.
All you have
to do, is scan, scan, scan.
Who opened the
door!
It’s going to
be money.
Pharaoh: I feel
nervous.
King: we are
going to see the witches again.
Witch: no meetings
here.
We don't perform
CPR.
You are talking
and sweating.
King: my magic
wish didn't come true.
Witch: what
do you want me to do?
Your magic wish
didn't come true.
Congratulations.
Pharaoh: any
predictions?
Witch: go away
until hot, hot, hot summer.
And then come
back.
Pharaoh: and
when is it?
King: you are
asking wrong question.
Right question
would be, “how fake those witches are?”
Priestess: so
he is very playful.
I think he stuck
in his childhood.
Queen: nice.
Him, he is secretly
eating sugar,
When no one
is watching.
King: witch,
this what I mean.
Witch: I see
everything!
King: no discrimination.
Witch: you want
to play too.
You will be
playing some day.
Where do you
want to play?
Indoor or
outdoor?
Servant 2: we brought you a gift.
King: I don't
worry.
I got it.
Servant 1: we
will find right now.
King: I don't
worry.
I got it.
Servant 2: you
repeat the same thing.
King: don't
worry, got it.
Pharaoh: explain
that.
Servant 1: he
don’t want laughing.
Pharaoh: in
my understanding, before, kings could have
100, 200, 300, 500 wives.
Servant 1: not
bad.
King: our government
can't afford it.
They have to
ask you ID to pick up one more.
The good thing,
we find and do see your gold.
Servant 1: did
it include servants?
Servant 2: I
am not fixing 500 houses.
King: we were alone in the house today.
She was bugging
me the whole morning.
It can’t be
always me!
In every
conversation.
Servant 1:
Pharaoh, you can make only one wish.
King: a
woman.
Servant 2:
last wish on our list.
Pharaoh: I
remember you were making few wishes already.
Servant 1:
we don't like our jobs.
Servant 2:
we want to go home earlier.
Pharaoh:
you took 20 minutes extra today.
King: I
took 15!
Servant 2:
we are sorry.
King:
Pharaoh, you will like her.
Long hair,
blond.
Very, very
nice.
Pharaoh:
how old?
King: older
then you.
Pharaoh: I
am five thousand years old.
King: three,
four years older then you.
Queen: did you
make the mess?
King: it was
a dog.
Servant 2: this
what happens when you see horse in your house.
King: Pharaoh, you can get insurance with certain ability if
you behave.
On Fridays.
Like going to
principal's office.
Servant 1: it’s
a dog.
Queen: its probably
also a whale.
Servant 1: we took this on the next level.
Servant 2: lots
of food at winter.
Pharaoh: looks like something epic.
King: it’s
a hamburger.
King: can you please hold phone for a while.
Queen: my boyfriend?
King: kind of.
Servant 2: she will find her dream.
King: someone?
We need only Pharaoh.
Servant 1: I think we made the same wish twice.
Servant 2: our problem is that we shop without shopping list.
Servant 1: I start to see things!
Queen: crazy.
King: where is the shopping list!
Queen: what happened to Diamond?
Servant 1:
he had only one bite!
King:
there’s always one customer who has only one bite.
Servant 2:
eat the whole thing.
King: its
perfect.
Queen:
what?
King:
whatever is cooking.
Queen: is
this the missing pot?!
King: I
always want to play basketball.
Servant 1: figure
skating.
Servant 2:
me either.
Queen: we
have to write a report!
King: what
woman is not a detective.
Servant 2:
100 % cooks instantly.
King: we can’t
tell her everything.
She will think
we are super heroes.
Servant 1: we
can go to the Olympics.
King: sh…
Queen: it grants
only one wish.
Servant 2: I
got it for 200 points!
King: why it
has to be about sports?
Servant 1: athletes
are particularly ambitious.
King: forget
about skating.
Servant 2: we
are going to beat you in basketball.
Servant 1: taekwondo
Queen: how are
you both winning?
Servant 2: they
are cheating, this how.
King: not me.
Servant 1: depends,
deal or no deal.
King: did you
read the sign “look at the mirror!”
Servant 1: deal
or no deal.
We can be good
at it.
Servant 2: why
only one wish?
There are many
wishes left.
King: they had
to pick the lowest number.
Servant 2: may
be a lot of ways to play?
King: yes “give
me the money!”
Queen: is it
win possible in this economy?
It will take
forever.
There are so
many million dollars.
Cup of tea,
one million, gas, one million, bread, one million.
King: again!