Poems,stories and pictures by Irina Mouravleva.
New Kings. ..
On the set of a new movie " Spooky Spooky".
Donald : time to celebrate Halloween!
Finally it reached us! (points on the map) we saw a witch.
Hilary (from hiding spot): who will I be !?
Donald (jumps with surprise): my favorite bad girl..
You provoke me with your questions. ..
(shyly) ...Witch ...
Witches: who we will be then?
Donald : my ladies ...
You have been so wonderful this year..
You all will be dressed like nice women who go to work every day from 9 to 5.
Witches: only for one day!!!
Donald (to Hilary): and please no flying in private planes tonight and sending me bills to pay.
This magical year do us a favor and use the broom.
Pastor (blessing new jacuzzi): I can stay all day in the water up to my ears in the name of Jesus, but not on the name of hurricane!
Donald : time to celebrate Halloween!
Finally it reached us! (points on the map) we saw a witch.
Hilary (from hiding spot): who will I be !?
Donald (jumps with surprise): my favorite bad girl..
You provoke me with your questions. ..
(shyly) ...Witch ...
Witches: who we will be then?
Donald : my ladies ...
You have been so wonderful this year..
You all will be dressed like nice women who go to work every day from 9 to 5.
Witches: only for one day!!!
Donald (to Hilary): and please no flying in private planes tonight and sending me bills to pay.
This magical year do us a favor and use the broom.
Pastor (blessing new jacuzzi): I can stay all day in the water up to my ears in the name of Jesus, but not on the name of hurricane!
New Kings. ..
Donald: ... new reality show "From Paris with unknown herpes"..
This what happens when men meet dropdead gorgeous women in foreign countries.
They will drop dead at home on the heads of our taxpayers.
People don't watch TV, make a la amoir at home, go to local gym, eat healthy, follow me on Twitter for daily lectures,
It will be plenty daily, all above.
Hilary : Commander and Gunius!
I was in Paris yesterday. .
Donald : don't touch me..(sprays Lysol)
Hilary : .. and was criticized for that brudly in French language.
Donald : we don't speak French here.
Hilary : I am lucky again.
Donald (looking at the clock): I think I understood Bill literally.
Time to go to work.
Hilary : at 9 pm?
Donald: work my dear, work.
It cannot wait.
Why I have locks in every room from inside?
Oh, you tease me with your questions. ...
I am sleeping.
But not today!
Today it's about time to focus on local tourism "From America with love, let's find pleasure at home".
Time to discover local mummies.
Hilary : this is so rude.
Donald : I am talking about mummies my dog found in my backyard.
It's only on the paper now, but we will keep digging.
Harvey : let's focus on women.
Hilary : experts are here.
Donald : always not enough, always not enough. ..
This what happens when men meet dropdead gorgeous women in foreign countries.
They will drop dead at home on the heads of our taxpayers.
People don't watch TV, make a la amoir at home, go to local gym, eat healthy, follow me on Twitter for daily lectures,
It will be plenty daily, all above.
Hilary : Commander and Gunius!
I was in Paris yesterday. .
Donald : don't touch me..(sprays Lysol)
Hilary : .. and was criticized for that brudly in French language.
Donald : we don't speak French here.
Hilary : I am lucky again.
Donald (looking at the clock): I think I understood Bill literally.
Time to go to work.
Hilary : at 9 pm?
Donald: work my dear, work.
It cannot wait.
Why I have locks in every room from inside?
Oh, you tease me with your questions. ...
I am sleeping.
But not today!
Today it's about time to focus on local tourism "From America with love, let's find pleasure at home".
Time to discover local mummies.
Hilary : this is so rude.
Donald : I am talking about mummies my dog found in my backyard.
It's only on the paper now, but we will keep digging.
Harvey : let's focus on women.
Hilary : experts are here.
Donald : always not enough, always not enough. ..
New Kings. ..
Donald : I don't understand why some people want my job.
I mean it's only office job on the chair in front of the computer.
Listen, go home, sit in front of computer, buy American flag and put your picture on the wall above.
You can get camera too or wear huge sign "President",
I don't mind.
And think all day who has more money.
May be your wife, may be your mother, may be your sister, may be your kids.
This is very important in planning state budget.
And who has no money, like your dog or cat for example... I don't know. .take them for a walk.
I mean it's only office job on the chair in front of the computer.
Listen, go home, sit in front of computer, buy American flag and put your picture on the wall above.
You can get camera too or wear huge sign "President",
I don't mind.
And think all day who has more money.
May be your wife, may be your mother, may be your sister, may be your kids.
This is very important in planning state budget.
And who has no money, like your dog or cat for example... I don't know. .take them for a walk.
school. ..
I signed up as a volunteer at my son's school and his teacher told another teacher that " only one girl is volunteering in my class, is Jaden's mom" and Jaden told me ..:)
New Kings. ..
On the set of a new movie " The budget".
Hilary : what are you hiding behind your back?
Donald (hiding a piece of paper in size of a candy).
The budget.
(Hilary looking strength at Donald's eyes ).
Donald : my dear you are freezing me with your look...!
Don't worry this budget is not for you.
it's for people.
Hilary : I hate when men joke about finances in the morning.
Donald : I am virgin.
Hilary : me too.
Donald : will I be criticized again?
Word "virgin" (looking at provocative pictures of women) has a lot of meanings.
Hilary : did you find mine?
(Donald is coughing).
Hilary : what?
I am still alive.
Donald : subscribe to our new CD "Ghosts from the past".
Yesterday means past too, Google if don't believe.
All want money from me,
All few million people, every day..
Personally I wish they all would be beautiful people,
I would feel better giving..
Hilary : this is love, hugging and kissing..
I am little bit jealous (trying to push Donald from the chair with crown).
Donald (looking on the computer) : how can I forget.
Three hundred pounds little girl,
Free speech worst nightmare.
Don't let women say what they think people.
Hilary : only two hundred and three..
Donald : my beauty and the best, together in one..
(whispering) who wants the money?
(loud) I guess no one. .
Hilary : what are you hiding behind your back?
Donald (hiding a piece of paper in size of a candy).
The budget.
(Hilary looking strength at Donald's eyes ).
Donald : my dear you are freezing me with your look...!
Don't worry this budget is not for you.
it's for people.
Hilary : I hate when men joke about finances in the morning.
Donald : I am virgin.
Hilary : me too.
Donald : will I be criticized again?
Word "virgin" (looking at provocative pictures of women) has a lot of meanings.
Hilary : did you find mine?
(Donald is coughing).
Hilary : what?
I am still alive.
Donald : subscribe to our new CD "Ghosts from the past".
Yesterday means past too, Google if don't believe.
All want money from me,
All few million people, every day..
Personally I wish they all would be beautiful people,
I would feel better giving..
Hilary : this is love, hugging and kissing..
I am little bit jealous (trying to push Donald from the chair with crown).
Donald (looking on the computer) : how can I forget.
Three hundred pounds little girl,
Free speech worst nightmare.
Don't let women say what they think people.
Hilary : only two hundred and three..
Donald : my beauty and the best, together in one..
(whispering) who wants the money?
(loud) I guess no one. .
Сын артиллериста
Был у майора Деева
Товарищ - майор Петров,
Дружили еще с гражданской,
Еще с двадцатых годов,
Вместе рубали белых
Шашками на скаку,
Вместе потом служили
В артиллерийском полку.
А у майора Петрова
Был Ленька, любимый сын,
Без матери, при казарме,
Рос мальчишка один.
И если Петров в отъезде,-
Бывало, вместо отца
Друг его оставался
Для этого сорванца.
Вызовет Деев Леньку:
- А ну, поедем гулять:
Сыну артиллериста
Пора к коню привыкать! -
С Ленькой вдвоем поедет
В рысь, а потом в карьер.
Бывало, Ленька спасует,
Взять не сможет барьер,
Свалится и захнычет.
- Понятно, еще малец! -
Деев его поднимет,
Словно второй отец.
Подсадит снова на лошадь:
- Учись, брат, барьеры брать!
Держись, мой мальчик: на свете
Два раза не умирать.
Ничто нас в жизни не может
Вышибить из седла! -
Такая уж поговорка
У майора была.
Был у майора Деева
Товарищ - майор Петров,
Дружили еще с гражданской,
Еще с двадцатых годов,
Вместе рубали белых
Шашками на скаку,
Вместе потом служили
В артиллерийском полку.
А у майора Петрова
Был Ленька, любимый сын,
Без матери, при казарме,
Рос мальчишка один.
И если Петров в отъезде,-
Бывало, вместо отца
Друг его оставался
Для этого сорванца.
Вызовет Деев Леньку:
- А ну, поедем гулять:
Сыну артиллериста
Пора к коню привыкать! -
С Ленькой вдвоем поедет
В рысь, а потом в карьер.
Бывало, Ленька спасует,
Взять не сможет барьер,
Свалится и захнычет.
- Понятно, еще малец! -
Деев его поднимет,
Словно второй отец.
Подсадит снова на лошадь:
- Учись, брат, барьеры брать!
Держись, мой мальчик: на свете
Два раза не умирать.
Ничто нас в жизни не может
Вышибить из седла! -
Такая уж поговорка
У майора была.
New Kings. ..
Donald : welcome to my new assistant, Alex,
He will be representing me on daily news.
Please, don't kill him (smiling) ... he is innocent.
Hilary : what about the country?
Donald (looking at the planner) : which country my dear?
We will fight here, in America.
Being at home always helps.
Hilary : oh God. ..
Donald : ... to many memories, best songs ever..
Music playing: When I was young,
I dreamed, like many men,
About having sex for money.
And not for free and have to pay for it,
To every woman I am with.
Sometimes for eighteen years,
You know kids.
Kindergarten, school, college, university. .
Different mothers as special gift.
It all changed in my very best day,
When I heard our president on TV.
Donald (singing): I bet it was me..
Hilary (singing) : it was in 1990 at least.
Music playing : .. sweet sixteen. ..
Our president told me from our old TV.
Go to school kid,
Study good, learn to make money.
We all know who you will blame.
One day after first child support you will be thanking me.
And I did went to school everyday,
And did study good,
Got good job, hear me.
Now my children, and their mothers,
They all love me a lot..
Love is free...
He will be representing me on daily news.
Please, don't kill him (smiling) ... he is innocent.
Hilary : what about the country?
Donald (looking at the planner) : which country my dear?
We will fight here, in America.
Being at home always helps.
Hilary : oh God. ..
Donald : ... to many memories, best songs ever..
Music playing: When I was young,
I dreamed, like many men,
About having sex for money.
And not for free and have to pay for it,
To every woman I am with.
Sometimes for eighteen years,
You know kids.
Kindergarten, school, college, university. .
Different mothers as special gift.
It all changed in my very best day,
When I heard our president on TV.
Donald (singing): I bet it was me..
Hilary (singing) : it was in 1990 at least.
Music playing : .. sweet sixteen. ..
Our president told me from our old TV.
Go to school kid,
Study good, learn to make money.
We all know who you will blame.
One day after first child support you will be thanking me.
And I did went to school everyday,
And did study good,
Got good job, hear me.
Now my children, and their mothers,
They all love me a lot..
Love is free...
New Kings. ..
Donald : what's up losers?
Hilary ( laughing non stop): ladies,
Sense of humour is the best in long lasting relationship!
Hilary ( laughing non stop): ladies,
Sense of humour is the best in long lasting relationship!
New Kings. ..
Donald : after reading a statement about .. (reading)
... was shot in the ass with the office door.
I decided to make very important change in manner of announcing news to the public.
Every news must be given thoughtfully politically correct and according with the law.
Hilary : dummy...not you.
Do you know what word "stressed" means?
It means "desserts".
Should thank us for that.
Lady: I am planning to sue someone myself.
Look what they wrote,
She was wearing only bra in the public.
What do you mean, only bra?
So where is the rest of the clothes?
And it was not a bra,
It was the underwear I was wearing instead of bra.
From my "Long underwear collection" like up to your bast line, like up to your neck and up sometime.
Hilary : ladies let's leave politics to men,
The same way ancient women left hunting to their ancient husbands.
And join my "Trust seminar" (reading) Ladies we should trust our husband until another woman moves in the house.
Then tight him up and ask his last name,
Then show your ID and ask again if he sees what you see.
... was shot in the ass with the office door.
I decided to make very important change in manner of announcing news to the public.
Every news must be given thoughtfully politically correct and according with the law.
Hilary : dummy...not you.
Do you know what word "stressed" means?
It means "desserts".
Should thank us for that.
Lady: I am planning to sue someone myself.
Look what they wrote,
She was wearing only bra in the public.
What do you mean, only bra?
So where is the rest of the clothes?
And it was not a bra,
It was the underwear I was wearing instead of bra.
From my "Long underwear collection" like up to your bast line, like up to your neck and up sometime.
Hilary : ladies let's leave politics to men,
The same way ancient women left hunting to their ancient husbands.
And join my "Trust seminar" (reading) Ladies we should trust our husband until another woman moves in the house.
Then tight him up and ask his last name,
Then show your ID and ask again if he sees what you see.
New Kings. ..
Hilary : only positive vibes... (thinking) ...only possible vibes. ..
Donald : yesterday once again I was falsely accused by corrupted media of having sex with my wife at nigh.
This news is fake and provocative.
At night my fellow citizens, me and my wife are reading the corrupted media and following it on twitter.
Donald : yesterday once again I was falsely accused by corrupted media of having sex with my wife at nigh.
This news is fake and provocative.
At night my fellow citizens, me and my wife are reading the corrupted media and following it on twitter.
...and for my son..
Once
upon a time in small country called Zania lived a very charming young
Prince Daniel.
On
his twenty third birthday, Daniel wanted to ask his parents to allow
him
to
travel around the world without servants or bodyguards. Secretly,
Daniel was
dreaming
about finding some unique and unknown place and writing a book about
it.
In Zania, nothing was unknown anymore and Daniel believed that maybe
far, far
away,
he would find something new and that had never been seen before. For
months,
Daniel was preparing everything for his adventure and was very
excited at
the
thought of leaving the palace alone, for the first time.
writing...
It
was first music video my mother got from a friend.
Girls
band singing, dancing.
I
didn't understand a word, it was in English.
I
thought may be they were saying:
Life
is not what you see,
Life
is what you dream.
I
had never seen so much clothes, so much shoes.
We
had nothing close, nothing to chose.
For
me that song, the girls, music,
Became
freedom knocking my door:
Life
is not what you see,
Life
is what you dream.
Lines
in the unemployment office,
No
more Soviet Union.
We
had no idea what to do.
Parents
are busy, nowhere to go after school.
Hiding
in the old empty building,
School
bags on the floor.
Cheap
vodka, cigarettes, sprays, glue.
A
boy is asking me to drink:
Try
and you will see real things.
I
tried only one time,
Because
that evening
The
girls band was singing on our dirty street.
They
were singing only for me:
Life
is not what you see.
Life
is what you dream…
writing...
Inner voice: Welcome
to the club!
Poetess (looking
around) : it's empty here?
Inner voice : you
are the first one.
Poetess is thinking
what to say.
Inner voice : you
are asking too many questions.
Why didn't you stay
in the forest any way?
I am sure, wild
bears would love you.
Poetess : I wanted
to work in the office.
Poetess is lying in
the bath tab and watching movie.
Paintings on the
wall, ice cream and educational magazines.
She is drinking
orange juice.
We will be nice
here.
The phone starts to
ring.
Poetess : Good day..
Inner voice : why
are you not at work?
It's Friday, lady.
Poetess : my back, I
mean my butt, my belly..
(To herself ) faking
all the time.
Inner voice : wake
up already,
We are at work
actually.
( Moving cup with
change closer to the road).
Poetess : do you
like my writing,
How I write?
Inner voice
(pretending he is dreaming): what?
Poetess : I was
thinking,
Any poets who are
living has more chances to write a beautiful story,
Like doing better
then great poets who are gone.
So I am doing better
than Shakespeare..
Inner voice : What's
your real job?
New Kings. ..
On the set of a new movie " The Iceberg".
Donald : I am your President my friends,
Who do you think you are going to listen every day?
(burning and ripping of papers in many pieces): good luck with finding something bad about me!
Only in Hell!
Nurse: are you sure we can play this story in the championship?
Doctor: do we want to get a government grant or we don't want to get a government grant?
Donald : they want to sell drugs .
Nurse : "Bill" keeps demanding a private room,
He says that he is single for a reason.
Doctor: may be it's a good thing..
Lady Doctor: and "Monica" is smiling all the time.
Second Doctor: we have to do something,
My kids are going to college this year.
Nurse: I have an idea!
We will include "Monica" and "Bill" in the story..
Doctor nods his head in agreement and pints his pan to the nurse.
Donald : I am your President my friends,
Who do you think you are going to listen every day?
(burning and ripping of papers in many pieces): good luck with finding something bad about me!
Only in Hell!
Nurse: are you sure we can play this story in the championship?
Doctor: do we want to get a government grant or we don't want to get a government grant?
Donald : they want to sell drugs .
Nurse : "Bill" keeps demanding a private room,
He says that he is single for a reason.
Doctor: may be it's a good thing..
Lady Doctor: and "Monica" is smiling all the time.
Second Doctor: we have to do something,
My kids are going to college this year.
Nurse: I have an idea!
We will include "Monica" and "Bill" in the story..
Doctor nods his head in agreement and pints his pan to the nurse.
New Kings. ..
On the set of a new movie " Old school".
Donald : it was the best day in my life,
Constitution felt on my head in the library,
And here I thought,
This is my last chance to do something really crazy.
Hilary (reading biology book): what looks like a pig is sounds like a pig ... (with question in look) .. and will act like a pig as well.
(taking a note).
Donald : university degree is not free in our country!
Producer : sister Hilary have you seen brother Donald?
Donald : sad lipstick girl...
Producer: school time!
(In the class)
Donald and Hilary are both looking at the map.
Hilary : see, I told you, take North, I will take South,
Now clearly we have a problem.
Donald : it was the best day in my life,
Constitution felt on my head in the library,
And here I thought,
This is my last chance to do something really crazy.
Hilary (reading biology book): what looks like a pig is sounds like a pig ... (with question in look) .. and will act like a pig as well.
(taking a note).
Donald : university degree is not free in our country!
Producer : sister Hilary have you seen brother Donald?
Donald : sad lipstick girl...
Producer: school time!
(In the class)
Donald and Hilary are both looking at the map.
Hilary : see, I told you, take North, I will take South,
Now clearly we have a problem.
don't know story
Poetess : as a person who was sexually harassed at work . ..this morning. .
And yesterday too..
For people to understand what kind of environment I am writing at.
And not speaking about some jealousy from loca bonitas.
Inner voice : congratulations,
You won our super prise again,
A newspaper!
Poetess : newspaper?
I would prefer some cash, but thank you.
Inner voice (shaking Poetess' hand): you are not alone.
The real witch : this what happens when you work with both men and women.
I would prefer working with a pot (a cooking pot).
Poetess (thinking): I should just stay quiet.
Grandma w. (on the phone): yes we provide crazy service,
All kind of services crazy people can provide.
We never deny we are crazy.
Grandma : save us at least from that.
When I was young, I was a doctor,
Get all dressed up and find myself talking to a man.
Grandma w: I've never work a day in my life.
Poetess: ... and I am not quitting, unless I am taking few people with me.
The real witch: no one will do anything without juicy details.
They want you to ran naked from the office and scream for help.
Inner voice: ...nudity..
Poetess: soon I am going to use magic at work right in front of the office. ..
And yesterday too..
For people to understand what kind of environment I am writing at.
And not speaking about some jealousy from loca bonitas.
Inner voice : congratulations,
You won our super prise again,
A newspaper!
Poetess : newspaper?
I would prefer some cash, but thank you.
Inner voice (shaking Poetess' hand): you are not alone.
The real witch : this what happens when you work with both men and women.
I would prefer working with a pot (a cooking pot).
Poetess (thinking): I should just stay quiet.
Grandma w. (on the phone): yes we provide crazy service,
All kind of services crazy people can provide.
We never deny we are crazy.
Grandma : save us at least from that.
When I was young, I was a doctor,
Get all dressed up and find myself talking to a man.
Grandma w: I've never work a day in my life.
Poetess: ... and I am not quitting, unless I am taking few people with me.
The real witch: no one will do anything without juicy details.
They want you to ran naked from the office and scream for help.
Inner voice: ...nudity..
Poetess: soon I am going to use magic at work right in front of the office. ..
New Kings. ..
On the set of a new movie "Let's wild out".
Hilary: look babies!
Donald (one of the women): hi sexy girl.
Hilary: are we staying or going?
Donald (in the car) : I am driving by pushing.
Hilary (in spoiled baby voice, few minutes after): here!
Right here! (pointing finger on the right).
(Donald pushes the car to an empty spot).
Hilary : are you sure we can park the car near this fire hydrant?
Donald :
Plus we have plenty of water bottles in the car.
Hilary: look babies!
Donald (one of the women): hi sexy girl.
Hilary: are we staying or going?
Donald (in the car) : I am driving by pushing.
Hilary (in spoiled baby voice, few minutes after): here!
Right here! (pointing finger on the right).
(Donald pushes the car to an empty spot).
Hilary : are you sure we can park the car near this fire hydrant?
Donald :
Plus we have plenty of water bottles in the car.
New Kings. ..
On the set of a new movie " It's 3 now. It was 5 before".
Hilary : 3 of what?
Donald : bombs.
Hilary : where are you going?
Donald : is there are another women in my country by chance?
Hilary : Freedom of speech!
Donald : 3 million for the health care.
It was 5 before, now it's 3.
Hilary: next year will be 1.
Donald : people don't like anything.
Some people don't like hotdogs, they like salads.
Some people don't like hot women.
Men who like hot women don't like the law.
People who like the law don't like me.
You can become bold by leading this nation.
This why I am going to a hair salon...
Hilary : 3 of what?
Donald : bombs.
Hilary : where are you going?
Donald : is there are another women in my country by chance?
Hilary : Freedom of speech!
Donald : 3 million for the health care.
It was 5 before, now it's 3.
Hilary: next year will be 1.
Donald : people don't like anything.
Some people don't like hotdogs, they like salads.
Some people don't like hot women.
Men who like hot women don't like the law.
People who like the law don't like me.
You can become bold by leading this nation.
This why I am going to a hair salon...
New Kings. .
On the set of a new movie " True story ".
Hilary: Commander and Chef!
Donald : Grasias Seniora, you look great too.
Hilary : where are you going with all this ammunition?
Donald (to the donkey): gated community has no clue what's going on in the world.
Too much time on hands, nothing much to do...
At least I have too much time in hands (shows his hands).
See the difference...in and on.. (shows the hands again)
Going to the war my dear.
Hilary: with Spain?
Donald : with bad people.
Hilary : don't tease pregnant women with your looks.
Donald : watch TV my dear.
Practice makes perfect.
Hilary : people should thank you for their problems.
Donald : problems is life.
Imagine what life would be without problems?
(Hilary makes hand sign like if a rocket goes in the sky).
Voice on the sky : actually only human souls are my problem.
Ivana : actually I am the first lady,
By the age, year and phone number.
It was 29...
Hilary makes a surprised funny face.
Ivana : not 1929..
It was the day when I was 29.
Hilary : so when you leave to the war,
Who is going to count our money?
( Donald turns back home)
Hilary: Commander and Chef!
Donald : Grasias Seniora, you look great too.
Hilary : where are you going with all this ammunition?
Donald (to the donkey): gated community has no clue what's going on in the world.
Too much time on hands, nothing much to do...
At least I have too much time in hands (shows his hands).
See the difference...in and on.. (shows the hands again)
Going to the war my dear.
Hilary: with Spain?
Donald : with bad people.
Hilary : don't tease pregnant women with your looks.
Donald : watch TV my dear.
Practice makes perfect.
Hilary : people should thank you for their problems.
Donald : problems is life.
Imagine what life would be without problems?
(Hilary makes hand sign like if a rocket goes in the sky).
Voice on the sky : actually only human souls are my problem.
Ivana : actually I am the first lady,
By the age, year and phone number.
It was 29...
Hilary makes a surprised funny face.
Ivana : not 1929..
It was the day when I was 29.
Hilary : so when you leave to the war,
Who is going to count our money?
( Donald turns back home)
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