The Martian story.

Martian: I spent one second and put all my thoughts into perspective. 
Martian: hopefully no one reads it.
We stuck here already. 
Martian: we have to maximize our time to fifteen seconds. 
Martian: how it was before. 
Martian: we almost forgot it.
Martian King: who can explain?
Martian: it's a mess. 
Martian: have a big cup of tequila. 
It will give you more energy. 
Martian: no salad?
Martian: will look more mess.
Martian: salads make me feel more better.
Martian: coffee?
Martian King: no more questions.