The treasures.

King: I have no idea!

Maid: he is a gem.

Servant: they all do that at the end of each month.

It’s called “the experience”.

You have to make the work force.

Maid: when she is at work its even better.

Servant: excellent.

Maid: they can work at the most remote locations.

Servant: in the morning he starts from wanna be millionaire speech.

“How can other people be so wealthy?

I can't do it".

Maid : impressive.

Servant: see, he understands the consistency of a dollar sign.

Maid: oh, I remember those.

Servant: has been learning for few years.

Maid: how old is he?

Servant: 55 years old, dangerous age.

He is a shark!

Maid: she is 49, mad woman.

Servant: it happens in life.

Maid: we still don't know who said this word. 

Servant: its illegal here.

Maid: I mean, for a single woman. 

Servant: time to make ladies happy!

 Cheers. 

The treasures.

Maid 1: what did she say?

Maid 2: she said “I am very very hungry”.

Maid 1: just tell me where is the apple?

Maid 2: probably in the office.

Maid 1: red ears?!

Maid 2: it’s the make up, we lighten up the face.

Maid 1: looks like one red ear.

Maid 2: she will look good on the picture.

Maid 1: watch when she starts running, it will affect the whole thing.

Maid 2: she runs like Sonic.

Maid 1: and we don't know what she is saying when she is running.

Maid 2: we see what happens.

Maiden: it happens few times.

The treasures.

(Evening)

Servant 1: it’s a chicken.

Servant 2: it’s a turkey.

Servant 1: why is he here?

Servant 2: he is using words.

Servant 1: the words are gone.

Servant 2: we have seen this one.

Servant 1: chasing each other.

Servant 2: why they have this stupid idea.

(Morning)

Servant 1: productivity zero.

Servant 2: making lunch.

Servant 1: its 7:30!

Servant 2: tell him something.

Its Monday.

Servant 1: he needs wife before he all messed up.

 

The treasures.

Queen: did you pay your text?

King: we need space to put the tax on.

Queen: what's going on!

You didn't sleep outside. 

King: it's only at summer!

Fools gold.

(Theatre stage, two actresses dressed like witches are pointing fingers at each other, and the third, the older, stares at crystal ball on the round table).

Third witch: the King is coming!

King of Fools: I am coming girl,

I am coming!

(the audience claps hands).

First witch: no pressure ladies, he is going to take his time.

Second witch: its all your fault.

First witch: you have to want everything or want nothing!

That's only when you will have to it all.

Second witch: really!?

First witch: temporary poor people will want it for you. 

Second witch: why temporary?

First witch: ha, ha, ha, guess?

King of Fools (from the audience): at this job you have to be fit.

Lots of love and does it.

Queen of Fools: you are too cheap to hire real actors.

King of Fools: we want to play ourselves.

Third witch: we shall wait for the King.

King of Fools (to Queen of Fools): for me!

First witch: try to date men from your city.

Second witch: I don't want to date men from my city!

Third witch: I see the winning lottery numbers; 3, 5, 6.

(everyone writes the numbers).

King of Fools (loud): no superpowers over here,

Only bad sometimes and love to eat.

Witches: the King!

(All singing together)

Chorus: One million, is a dream of an idiot,

One million is a dream of an idiot..

King of Fools (singing): is "the dream" of every fool!

Chorus: no less, no more,

We are not of being greedy,

Unless, its required by law, law, law..

King of Fools: love, love, love..

Chorus: what about food and women,

What about work commitment,

What about sparkles in the eyes?!

King of Fools: this is dream!

And this is wishes,

No time to be suspicious,

No time to waste the time..

Queen of Fools: phone call.

King of Fools: tell them, we are busy.

Queen of Fools: the button, its emergency. 

King of Fools: who answers emergency right away, not me.

(Next day).

Troll: its seems to be messed up.

King of Fools: we used rolls. 

Troll: who are you?

King of Fools: actors from the burned theater. We tried to get insurance, but it didn't work out very well. 

20 BCE

Servant: your carriage has no sticker.

Wizard: put “w" on it.

Servant: Pharaoh is here too.

We didn't know this meeting will get that much attention.

Master servant (pointing at the sand clock on his hand): time, time.

Servant: Pharaoh said we have to relax on Fridays.

And less work on the weekends.

Was it already documented on the papyrus?

High Priest: and what do you say about it?

Wizard: we didn't know what the transactions are, reading took forever.

 

 

20 BCE

High Priest: yes.

Wizard: no.

High Priest: yes.

Wizard: no.

Pharaoh: it smells so sweet!

People, we have to get out of here at 7:30.

High Priest: we have two options.

Wizard: Pharaoh was nice for a while.

May be he will be nice again?

High Priest: it must've been some dream!

Priest: Pharaoh started being nice yesterday.

Wizard: that’s the same thing!

High Priest: kind of slow today.

Wizard: Pharaoh was only complaining about the management.

High Priest: well, without management, things will not work!

And he was eating on the table.

I don't understand those things.

Servant: and said, we have to work tomorrow.

High Priest: is it still snowing?

 

 

 

20 BCE

Pharaoh: this business plan looks different!

Wizard 1: now we are stuck.

Wizard 2: Pharaoh, in the morning.

Pharaoh: yesterday what?

Wizard 2: you had fun day yesterday?

Wizard 3: morning.

Wizard 1: may be he worries about fun from yesterday?

Wizard 2: we are going to worry about fun from this morning, from 9 o'clock.

Its better and cheaper.

Wizard 1: Pharaoh, whatever happens in America,

High Priest needs reasons.

For liberation of the trade union.

And he wants us to be fast.

 

20 BCE

High Priest: the wizard must have been drinking?

Priest: he says “drink" is a bad word.

High Priest: for some people every word is a bad word.

Priest: what worries us, they go to the liquor store on Friday after work.

We know how it works.

High Priest: me too.

We probably can get second Pharaoh.

Where is the wizard?

Wizard: Pharaoh stole my window!

High Priest: we will write it off as a hate crime.

Wizard: some country!

High Priest: you said the dream will take only 30 minutes!

Wizard: I went to see chipmunks.

They don't run away like squirrels.

The things are still sitting there.

High Priest: and did you see it!?

Wizard: we only have wild animals around  the hood!

High Priest: may be the animals belong to someone?

Wizard: we used a show.

They run away instead of looking.

Pharaoh: my shoes are shining!

Wizard: oh dear.

High Priest: Pharaoh, can you remember us?

We brought few pictures.

 

 

 

 

20 BCE

High Priest: I wonder what’s going on?

Pharaoh doesn't deliver any messages.

He wants us to deliver!

Priest: Pharaoh got hair cut.

He thinks he lives in America.

We told him, here is the same thing.

Priest (reading): the new complain was about,  why no one complains when he takes too long at lunch…

… something about team work…

And BBC is good.

Servants: we were relaxing and Pharaoh said: “when you don't have work, you find work".

Priest: we can’t shop bulk any more.

Priest (reading): “no one listens", that’s the big one.

High Priest: we almost forgot how to do it.

Servant master: Pharaoh wants people to work according the law.

High Priest: we shouldn't borrow that movie.

Priest (whispering): may be this is the  same movie… the revolution..

Priests: OMG.

Servant: we can watch “Take your time, there’s no work" movie again.

We will make it in fifteen minutes.

High Priest: make five hundred series.

Once Pharaoh starts watching it, he will be all right before next festival.

Tell Pharaoh, this how he sees things.

Its not exactly how in movies.

We have professionals to make him breakfast and tighten his shoes.

Priest: the dancers are so nice to him.

Servant master: not surprised.

They are dancing from 9 to 2 now.

High Priest: it was so much easier before.

Now we are busy every day.

Servant: there are the receipts.

High Priest: that much stuff!

Priest: the accountants are still sleeping.

High Priest: may be we should say something.

 

 

 

 

Fools gold.

King of Fools (on the phone): are you feeling more relaxed now?

With no more pressure.

Troll: if we were allowed to drink vodka at work, I would have 8 of those.

King of Fools: we are looking for volunteers. 

Mama Mia: note from the government!

"Less is more".

King of Fools: I am staring on it already on the wall here!

Send the back note "Its already in our head ".

Troll: it's too much. 

King of Fools: common sense, Mister Troll!

It's all big stuff!

Mama Mia: mister Troll, 

Try to continue read the sign from the back.

King of Fools: start from the wall.

Mama Mia: you will be flying to work every day. 

King of Fools: it will be easier after a while. 

Everything is on the wall.

We put bunch of note!

Troll: I am all right.

Mama Mia: I know what monkey "The Genius " would do.

She would eat more banana. 

Mister Troll, eat more banana.

King of Fools: monkey "The Genius " knows everything better then the government. 

Lots of responsibilities. 

Fool: note from the government. 

"Wear safety glasses".

King of Fools: the government is giving us 

... today.

Tell them, we like to see things real.

Fools gold.

King of Fools: why that many?

We ordered 20 and got 150.

Fool: may be they thought all numbers are the same thing.

Fool: I bring the load and you use it.

Troll (driving): now they messed up the road.

Troll: may be something is going on?

Troll: no, nothing is going on.

Troll: I voted for King of Fools.

Troll: they are weird.

Troll: you will find out.

King of Fools: it doesn't fit, see, in here.

Troll: happy Monday!

King of Fools: happy Monday!?

Everyone is on break!

Troll: can you leave so many washrooms on the street?

King of Fools: we are on the border line.

 

 

 

 

Happily ever after.

Priestess: read the sign “its Friday “.

Its Friday, no work tomorrow.

Pharaoh: its Friday.

Priestess: its Friday.

And no more shorts, they throw us off the course.

We can’t see anything else at all.

Pharaoh: I remember now!

Priestess: we will read another roll, and roll and roll.

Pharaoh: and roll and roll.

King: are you sure if it’s the right way the treasures?

Servant 1: if its accurate.

King: what a way to live.

Queen: this is crazy, I can’t even add anything to it.

Servant 2: at least something different.

 

 

Happily ever after.

King: you can call her grandma, 

Time goes so slow with her.

Pharaoh: busy social life?

King: yes!

Every thing she sees is cool.

I have a list here, A, B and C.

Pharaoh: where is A?

King: its number 1.

At home, you have to scan the item.

Its chocolate.

We all know, what we are going to do with it.

Think, instead of pillow you will hug big chocolate. 

Pharaoh: you are only talking. 

King: this is how I get through the day.

Fools gold.

Mama Mia: mister Troll!

This is you!

I thought the folder was moving by itself. 

Troll: this is me.

Mama Mia: I am pushing the folder and something is pulling it back!

I am pushing it and something pulling it back again!

Troll: where is mister Fool?

Mama Mia: he is a grown man, why would I know where is he.

May be in the wash room. 

Troll: for an hour. 

King of Fools: mister Troll, do you want someone to watch you?

I finished my book, how to bake cookies. 

Mama Mia: bravo!

Troll: "June"?

That's the name?

King of Fools: its "Joune", no cheese.

She was wearing long t-shirt!

And dancing!

All you hear, is music. 

Music for everyone to love.

Troll: not in the dreams?

King of Fools: this why I look that much young.

Like 15 years old. 

The thing with her, 

I only talk to myself and my book.

 

Happily ever after.

Pharaoh: what a ... is that?

King: the load.

Pharaoh: once I used to stay in my bed until 2 PM.

Now I am American. 

Hopefully we don't have to walk too far.

Is it even working?

King: if we grab it at the same time. 

Happily ever after.

King: I am still working, why are you pushing me.

Can't you see a box here.

Servant: someone left water, should I pick it up?

King: Pharaoh is cheap too.

Pharaoh: its whiskey Tuesday!

King: your whiskey Pharaoh. 

Pharaoh: amazed and stressed out.

King: beautiful conditions. 

Pharaoh: when something is not cold, you call it hot.

King: the witches said, if you don't like something, we can bring it back.

Pharaoh: really?

King: how could you let all the servants go?

Servant: they speak my language. 

King: so what?!

Servant: people immigrate for a reason. 

King: they don't have to!

Servant: ladies are in the lunch room.

The best place to be right now.

King: it's one place I am avoiding.

Happily ever after.

Pharaoh: we did everything normal people would do.

We blamed each other.

King: we like a tail.

You don't need it, but it’s good to have.

Pharaoh: what is this wild singing?

King: the servants, good that we took them all.

Pharaoh: which one!?

Servant: looks like its going to be rain.

King: the songs are very popular.

 

Happily ever after.

Servant: my clothes goes here.

He was so upset.

Who is going to help me on the kitchen!

King: this office was called “stuffed duck” for a reason!

Where is the queen?

Servant: sleeping.

King: does it?

Did she seriously asked Pharaoh directly about his treasures?

Servant: not surprised.

King: we need bed in the office, so we can sleep right here.

They get rid of bed and put chairs.

How dumb can it be.

Queen: no.

King: this is ridiculous.

Can you understand the need of our country for the ancient gold.

Queen: Pharaohs hide everything.

King: it was long time ago!

You have to find his sensitive spots.

Where's is Pharaoh?

Servant: he is just sitting here.

King: do some extensions, may be he can grab it.

Queen: this is the strategy?

 

 

Fools gold.

King of Fools: biscuits?

Fool: I am not eating it.

Mama Mia: its okay. 

King of Fools: well, its after Monday.

Fool: still large percentage of fools buy biscuits instead of donuts after long weekend Monday. 

Troll: since when?

Fool: since everything!

Mama Mia: may be donuts are not easy to find?

Fool: oh, it's easy to find.

King of Fools: we have to fix it.

Happily ever after.

King: I think SpaceTax will reach the moon before NASA.

Pharaoh: they did already.

What are you talking about?

King: I mean Mars.

Pharaoh: tell me, how do you chill?

King: we have fun with obvious things and play music.

Pharaoh: more.

King: she found something in the garden and I had chicken.

Pharaoh: or dear.

King: not quite fun.

I remember I had vacation by myself  and my friends waited for me.

Now I go to stores.

Pharaoh: every time?

King: she was eating chicken all over the place and she said: chicken, chicken, chicken!

I am her chicken baby.

Pharaoh: oh, okay.

King: do you want me to tell you more about it?

I have 2000 examples.

 

Fools gold.

King of Fools (on the phone): wisdom!

Ozdom, ozdom.

Troll (enters the room): you broke my door again.

King of Fools: mister Troll,

You didn't push “I am okay, thank you” button at 5 o'clock.

We've already sent you a dog to guard the door.

All you have to do, push the button (pushing imaginary  button), very simple.

I was throwing duzzies all the way to rescue you.

Troll: I was sleeping.

King: beauty sleep?

Troll: did you say free country?

Mama Mia: Mister Troll, don’t argue.

King of Fools: good point. (kissing Mama Mia's hand).

Troll: here.

King of Fools: what is this?

Troll: I fixed your problem and bought new plunger.

King of Fools: it’s not our style.

I hope, you didn't use our credit card to pay for it.

Troll: it’s a plunger.

All you have to do is plunge the toilet.

King of Fools: we do it in style!

Troll: where is the wash room?

King of Fools: first of all, its “bathroom”.

Mama Mia (looking at the plunger): the stuff looks so old, you can give it for free.

King of Fools: its probably cost fortune like the paper from a week ago.

Troll: where is the bathroom!

Mama Mia: phone call!

King of Fools (on the phone): essential services!

(whispering) my sock is still on my heal, yes, since the afternoon.

 

 

 

Happily ever after.

King: forever young, forever young.

Pharaoh: your singing warms up my heart.

Where are the slaves?

King: your thinking no more then mine.

They are sleeping.

Pharaoh: on the plantation?

King: at home.

Different climate.

Pharaoh: you don't have dessert,  you don't have sand storms?

King: yes, unfortunately.

Servant 1: queen is on the phone.

King: tell her I am not hiding.

Servant 2: she think you didn't go to work, you went somewhere else.

Pharaoh: where are you going?

King: home.

Pharaoh: at 1 o'clock?

Truth and only the truth.

Servant 2: I am going to the same hone, to the next month,  the night club.

Servant 1: bananas!

Pharaoh: what is this?

Servant 1: bananas.

Pharaoh: I think it’s a shame to give Pharaoh green bananas for breakfast.

Servant 1: our monkey slaves are terrible.

They are only learning how to say “cheese”.

The monkeys didn't want to work 7 days, then we have to shorten by 5.

Now we have to do their job, not every day.

We will color the bananas at any color you want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happily ever after.

Priestess: why are putting water on your head?

You are sweating already.

Pharaoh: they are not nice.

Priestess: you are dreaming, your are sleep.

Pharaoh: they don't cook.

Priestess: every time you wake up to have breakfast, think you are sleeping.

Eat this, mayonnaise and honey, relaxing dish.

Sleeping.

Pharaoh: how many servants do you have?

Priestess: since all the prices gone up on everything.

Before we could afford eight hundred servants,  now only one.

 

 

Happily ever after.

Servant: lucky star!

King: we will get it later.

Martian: well, lunatics, we are here.

Martian: what is the shortest way out?

Martian: build new space ship. 

It will take few seconds to go home.

Martian: no one knows how it works!

Martian: well, you will be happy here.

Martian: you notice, women always say something, where they are.

Martian: may be we speak slowly?

Martian: because men never listen. 

Martian: general, they are perfect. 

Martian: we need more schools like this,

Explore different places, everything might be the same.

Happily ever after.

Parrot: money.

King: I don't think so.

Servant 1: you have to look at this bird again.

King: I was looking at home.

Why is it always me!

Servant 2: she doesn't know any difference.

Servant 1: you are the man, ha ha.

King: one day, I say, bye, see you, and go home.

Servant 2: yeah, see you tomorrow.

 

Happily ever after.

Pharaoh: please tell me what is this!

Servant 1: our new office. 

Pharaoh: my eyes want to rest right now.

Servant 2: you will be fine.

Hopefully it will be cool soon. 

Servant 1: we see it every day. 

Servant 2: Pharaoh, when you leave work, you will have big smile. 

It's a good thing. 

Servant 1: you will have smiling face when you get out of here.

All evening and night. 

Servant 2: especially after big jobs.

Servant 1: we don't have small jobs here.

Pharaoh: king, your servants say, you have big jobs here.

What is it?

King: "choo - choo".

Happily ever ver after.

Priestess: and what did she say to you?

This is your last night at her kitchen?

If she is normal, give her this cooking oil, if she is crazy, give her this honey.

And if she complains, change the subject.

Don’t drop anything.

Next!

Pharaoh: I am sweating here.

Priestess: are you behaving?

Was anyone helping you before?

Pharaoh: mess.

Priestess: who?

Pharaoh: mess.

Priestess: you found one already?

This how you learn.

One day you do this, next day you do that.

Pharaoh: and on top of that,

How can I go 3 thousand years back in time?

Priestess: he probably wanted to know how it works.

Pharaoh: I thought it probably foolishness of my young years.

Priestess: sure.

Pharaoh: its king and his witches.

Priestess: they probably scanned something wrong.

We can check if they use the right scanner.

I can see, they put “zero”.

Pharaoh: what it means?

Priestess: this what happens when you change your system every day.

We watch one of the time.

We ask mostly, and they say, they have no idea.

Priestess: you have 30 in file and zero mistakes.

Pharaoh: its three thousand.

Priestess: we thought you are only in history books.

Pharaoh: no, I am not in history books.

I am right here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happily ever after.

Witch: I see 2 winning numbers!

King: you have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 20, 25 numbers in the ticket!

Witch: what are you doing here?

Lets try again.

King: I was reading and explaining myself my own recommendations why we need many slaves.

Witch: many slaves called “robots".

Stop looking at ours.

King: looks like coffee maker to me.

Witch: we couldn't figure out!

Where's my kitten!?

Fat cat: seriously!

Seriously!

I am a grown man already.

Fat cat: ask more milk.

We will have a party tonight.

Witch: what a good boy.

King: these cats look huge.

Witch: because we care.

Majority of our kittens are special breed.

Fat cat: what movie do you want to see, about love or “meow”?

Fat cat: meow.

Witch: he is saying something!

Kitten, say “please”.

Fat cat: beer.

It might be in the box.

Witch: he is wonderful.

King: wild cats.

 

 

Happily ever after.

Pharaoh: where is the priestess?

Where is my woman.

Priestess: excuse moi.

I am not a woman,

I am a priestess. 

Pharaoh: with this ice cream and everything I will like a twenty years old again.

Priestess: you have a problem, we are here to help.

Pharaoh: you heard, you can guess. 

Priestess: we don't shop together,

I can't think what it is.

Pharaoh: how can I go to my kingdom?

Priestess: magic happens.

You can buy a plane ticket, twenty hours flight. 

Pharaoh: what school did you go?

Priestess: New Kingdom?

Tutmoses?

Pharaoh: that's skilled.

Qui madame.

Priestess: merci bocoup!

Do you speak French?

Parle pas bien le francais?

Pharaoh: non, tres peu ...

I don't know how to start.

Priestess: I don't know how to start too!

Le francias langue of l'amour.

Fat cats.

Fat cat: something stuck in my shoe.

Fat cat: your foot stuck in your foot.

Fat cat: what does it mean!

Fat cat: you are turning into a black cat.

Fat cat: may be I really should!

Fat: relax.

Color flex is my favorite color.

Fat cat: neighbors are making drugs non stop in their kitchen.

We made less the a quarter of that.

We have to stop.

We take a break.

Then we went shopping.

Fat cat: not surprise me.

Fat cat: it’s not drug, its natural medicine.

Fat cat: you are full of vitamins!

Fat cat: we all going to be affected.

Fat cat: bikini mercy.

Fat cat: is it a song?

Fat cat: he is telling on me!

Fat cat: if I will remember.

Fat cat: he is always telling on you.

I just remember, picture of our president or something.

He talks like he is singing.

My favorite song of all the time.

Piggy: bring piggy bank this way.

Fat cat: another piggy bank!

Fat cat: we need piggy bank like this.

Piggy: practice makes a lot of sense.

If you are qualified. 

Fat cat: it has something to do with not being fat cat.

Fat cat: pigs like to roll when they are young.

Fat cat: they don't listen.

Fat cat: leave piggy alone and sit down. 

Fat cat: you are not getting our piggy bank.

Piggy: I know, right.

Fat cat: it's fake gold.

Do you like comedy movies?

Piggy: some.

I've seen a few.

You watch it, you understand this world. 

Fat cat: people are stupid.

Fat cat: you only know few!

Fat cat: world looks cool.

Fat cat: in your video game. 

 

 

 

Happily ever after.

Witch: see, from here to here,

All magic wishes.

All you have to do, is scan, scan, scan.

Who opened the door!

It’s going to be money.

Pharaoh: I feel nervous.

King: we are going to see the witches again.

Witch: no meetings here.

We don't perform CPR.

You are talking and sweating.

King: my magic wish didn't come true.

Witch: what do you want me to do?

Your magic wish didn't come true.

Congratulations.

Pharaoh: any predictions?

Witch: go away until hot, hot, hot summer.

And then come back.

Pharaoh: and when is it?

King: you are asking wrong question.

Right question would be, “how fake those witches are?”

Priestess: so he is very playful.

I think he stuck in his childhood.

Queen: nice.

Him, he is secretly  eating sugar,

When no one is watching.

King: witch, this what I mean.

Witch: I see everything!

King: no discrimination.

Witch: you want to play too.

You will be playing some day.

Where do you want to play?

Indoor or outdoor?

 

 

Happily ever after.

Pharaoh: this why I don't trust GPS. 

Its better be right this time.

King: hopefully we will get at least half way.

Priestess:  half way?!

Pharaoh: so what's going on?

Priestess: you came to messed up place.

Pharaoh: you promised you know something.

Priestess: how do I know?

Pharaoh: you know.

King: queen!

Queen: I forgot my mask.

King: you don't have to wear mask now.

Queen: you said I can walk outside without clothes. 

Priestess: if I was living in a cave, I would be playing with toys too.

I would have toys everywhere.

This how humanity exists. 

Queen: from 9 to 6 we are at work, but I will write it down. 

King: women love to work!

We did a survey.

Queen: what year?

King: 1894.

Queen: what about after?

Pharaoh: king, you mentioned going without your queen.

King: it's not queen, she is someone new.

Its Dora.

When you don't do what she says, you get stuck.

She is my daily hypnosis. 

Pharaoh.

Servant 2: we brought you a gift.

King: I don't worry.

I got it.

Servant 1: we will find right now.

King: I don't worry.

I got it.

Servant 2: you repeat the same thing.

King: don't worry, got it.

Pharaoh: explain that.

Servant 1: he don’t want laughing.

Pharaoh: in my understanding, before,  kings could have 100, 200, 300, 500 wives.

Servant 1: not bad.

King: our government can't afford it.

They have to ask you ID to pick up one more.

The good thing, we find and do see your gold.

Servant 1: did it include servants?

Servant 2: I am not fixing 500 houses.

 

 

Pharaoh.

King: we were alone in the house today.

She was bugging me the whole morning.

It can’t be always me!

In every conversation.

Servant 1: Pharaoh, you can make only one wish.

King: a woman.

Servant 2: last wish on our list.

Pharaoh: I remember you were making few wishes already.

Servant 1: we don't like our jobs.

Servant 2: we want to go home earlier.

Pharaoh: you took 20 minutes extra today.

King: I took 15!

Servant 2: we are sorry.

King: Pharaoh, you will like her.

Long hair, blond.

Very, very nice.

Pharaoh: how old?

King: older then you.

Pharaoh: I am five thousand years old.

King: three, four years older then you.

Queen: did you make the mess?

King: it was a dog.

Servant 2: this what happens when you see horse in your house.

King: Pharaoh,  you can get insurance with certain ability if you behave.

On Fridays.

Like going to principal's office.

Servant 1: it’s a dog.

Queen: its probably also a whale.

Servant 1: we took this on the next level.

Servant 2: lots of food at winter.

Pharaoh: looks like something epic.

King: it’s a hamburger.

 

 

 

 

New Kings.

King: can you please hold phone for a while.

Queen: my boyfriend?

King: kind of.

Servant 2: she will find her dream.

King: someone?

We need only Pharaoh.

Servant 1: I think we made the same wish twice.

Servant 2: our problem is that we shop without shopping list.

Servant 1: I start to see things!

Queen: crazy.

King: where is the shopping list!

Diamond.

Queen: what happened to Diamond?

Servant 1: he had only one bite!

King: there’s always one customer who has only one bite.

Servant 2: eat the whole thing.

King: its perfect.

Queen: what?

King: whatever is cooking.

Queen: is this the missing pot?!

King: I always want to play basketball.

Servant 1: figure skating.

Servant 2: me either.

Queen: we have to write a report!

King: what woman is not a detective.

Servant 2: 100 % cooks instantly.

King: we can’t tell her everything.

She will think we are super heroes.

Servant 1: we can go to the Olympics.

King: sh…

Queen: it grants only one wish.

Servant 2: I got it for 200 points!

King: why it has to be about sports?

Servant 1: athletes are particularly ambitious.

King: forget about skating.

Servant 2: we are going to beat you in basketball.

Servant 1: taekwondo  

Queen: how are you both winning?

Servant 2: they are cheating,  this how.

King: not me.

Servant 1: depends, deal or no deal.

King: did you read the sign “look at the mirror!”

Servant 1: deal or no deal.

We can be good at it.

Servant 2: why only one wish?

There are many wishes left.

King: they had to pick the lowest number.

Servant 2: may be a lot of ways to play?

King: yes “give me the money!”

Queen: is it win possible in this economy?

It will take forever.

There are so many million dollars.

Cup of tea, one million, gas, one million, bread, one million.

King: again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Diamond.

Diamond: excuse me.

King: very briefly. 

Diamond: someone stole my pot.

King: getting more compliments?

Diamond: I can't believe you here!

King: imagine if it steams?

Diamond: even one will think it's me!

King: it's not you.

I still wonder what we drilled?

Diamond: they all said it!

King: they are not nice, we are.

You should've written something on it.

Diamond: people order one thing and then want something else!

King: go have fun.

Diamond: no drinks, no fun.

My pot could grand one wish.

King: really?

We will remember for next time. 

Diamond: send a text, may be anyone remembers anything. 

King: thankfully, we don't have zero forks.

May be you come out as a good boy.

Pharaoh.

Servant 2: we have donuts and coke in the kitchen.

Pharaoh: I wasn't trying to keep one.

You are still working?

Servant 2: we are your shadow.

its Friday!

And she will not see my back until 9 o'clock, this when the stores are closed.

Friday night is Friday right.

Pharaoh: she is your wife.

Servant 2: yeah, we need more sugar to stay young.

 

Diamond.

Diamond: I can’t believe this!

Some one stole my pot.

They literally grabbed from my hands!

So much about hospitality.

King: leave it alone.

Quick solution to many questions.

You are the one who was not holding it.

Diamond: leave it alone!

This is my identification document!

King: this how you learn.

You can take a pot from our kitchen.

Diamond: those pots are lighter than feather!

 

Pharaoh.

King: common  Pharaoh!

Twenty years old is good only for one night!

You will be tricked!

I wish I was.

Servant 1: twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty years will make huge difference.

King: where's is the queen?

Where is our twenty years old!

Send her message on pager “one dollar and something, something “.

She knows exactly what I am talking about.

Pastor: good morning sweethearts.

Queen: run away pastor.

You closed your church in the flood and left everyone behind!

Pastor: that was the idea.

We are not wonder land.

We are not emotional rollercoaster. 

For your information,  the government informed about the rain one month in advance. 

It was on the news.

It's not my fault, everyone thought the government was joking. 

Queen: it makes no sense. 

Pastor: it was only raining non stop for two hours.

Queen: two days!

Pastor: sweetheart, you eat too many sweets. 

Too much sugar.

Queen: so you figured this all out.

Pastor: I don't know what it means.

We can go to the church only when we know everything, everything. 

Do we know why people didn't hide somewhere else?

Do we know why fell so much rain that day, twenty years ago?

All you can do, is forget about it.

You can sit next to me and we can talk.

Queen: King want me always have in mind Pharaoh, his slaves and gold.

Pastor: does Pharaoh know where to find it?

It was long years.

See, may be he can see it in his dreams.

Queen: in details?

Pastor: you never know, keep the shining the lights on above all the region.

 

Pharaoh.

King: where's is Pharaoh?

Servant 1: which one?

King: we know only one.

Open the door, I want to see ladies in the gym.

Servant 1: you want to see the gym?

King: I said "I want to see ladies in the gym"!

Why would i want to see the gym?

Servant 1: how was your trip with Pharaoh?

King: heavily drinking. 

We didn't argue that much.

Stop looking at the door and smile.

Servant 1: I remember queen saying "oh yeah, he is going away!".

King: for the meeting, write "only don't bring tomatoes ".

Pharaoh.

King: and that’s all!

“Where is the king?”.

Queen: did you tell him that?

Pharaoh: where is the king?

Servant 2: busy with his baby.

Pharaoh: tell, I will be working all day.

Servant 2: I will be working with you.

I have a date today.

Fridays! No more!

Anything she tries,

And then “boom",

Its perfect again!

Three witches and the king.

King: stop rushing people!

First witch: there’s a bug!

This why I say “quick, quick, quick “.

King: she is 57 years old woman.

This is all her fault.

Second witch: may be you blame yourself today?

Third witch: let him blame someone else  for a change.

First witch: in ancient days you can have eight women on the side.

Third witch: its advance.

King: for my information.

Third witch: wrong.

First witch: they all will listen to you.

Third witch: and tell you what to do.

First witch: everything is perfectly wrong!

King: what do you do here?

Third witch: physics.

King: what time to what time?

Third witch: we are working 9 to 5.

Its constant physics.

 

 

Fat cats.

Fat cat: piggy, you are perfect.

Fat cat: we wish our boss is like you, with two pounds of cash.

Piggy: you would eat him.

Fat cat: piggy, you take everything with a smile!

Fat cat: here, you can’t say this, you can’t say that.

You can't say anything except “Aaaa!”.

Fat cat: can you be any slower!

Fat cat: you hear.

One minute!

Fat cat: lots of yogurt.

Fat cat: we have to keep our fur smooth.

Fat cat: doggy, we would share, but we have to go work like a wind.

Fat cat: we have boring job.

Piggy: I forgot, I used to do it.

Fat cat: if my kitty will not find my fur smooth, she will not know what to say.

 

Pharaoh.

Servant 1: you smell nice.

Servant 2: we can smell your perfume from the kitchen.

Pharaoh: my wife made it for me.

Five thousand years ago.

Servant 1: long time.

Pharaoh: where is the king?

Servant 1: with the witches.

Servant 2: he still thinks you are not real.

Servant 1: nice shoes.

Pharaoh: my wife bought for me.

One kilogram of gold.

Servant 2: how many years ago it was?

Servant 1: his wife doesn't buy him anything.

Servant 2: she said, he has more money then her.

Servant 1: she bought him a flag.

She said on Thursday “ I will buy you a flag" and she bought it on Friday.

Servant 2: we have to leave our work and go look for it.

This is stupid.

Pharaoh: may be the flag was in the office.

Servant 1: we checked, it wasn't there.

Apparently it was in the bedroom.

 

 

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: I can tell you what's crazy?

Actually, never mind.

Lazy!?

I only asked, you don't have to get angry.

First witch: what to say when you work for someone else.

King: your store has some good name,

I mean “For lease “.

Third witch: we thought you would forget.

King: I didn't.

Third witch: places like this are always open.

Second witch: Raptors always win, Blue Jay’s always win, but there is Toronto Maple Leaves…

Queen: who is hungry?

First witch: hangry?

Queen: hungry plus angry.

First witch: our kitchen.

King: so you haven nothing upstairs and everything downstairs?

Third witch: its fancy.

Three witches and the king.

Third witch: our king-bun!

King: answer your phone!

Third witch: they are fine.

King: you said you are bad.

Third witch: something wrong with us.

Mentally. 

Our equipment is matching our technology. 

Wear your glasses and look at this rock.

King: I bought you a gas tank.

You can stay nice and warm at winter.

Third witch: gas tank!?

You scare us.

Don't shake it.

Second witch: who bought the tractor?

You? 

Third witch: didn't you buy a tractor last year?

People can drive that.

Queen: I know. 

First witch: king looks like he wants to say something but stays quiet.

King: you know when people say "woman doesn't have mind on her own".

In my case, she does. 

I come home and I have to beg!

Third witch: everyone wants something. 

King: today she wants a plant.

There are a lot of plants outside. 

Bring a drink, turn on TV, walk the dog, wash the dishes, bring dinner upstairs, get soda.

Second witch: you have a dog?

King: I might need therapy. 

Should it be documented?